he was alone as his body tried to relax sitting down, his eyes focused like a thoroughbred with blinders on a race track.  the sound of falling rain didn’t mind him as he tried to grasp what was happening.  he wanted to scream his heart out, but can only manage a deafening silence as reality sets in.  all the while, he thought he knew something, but brushed it off.  the late nights she came home, the whispered phone conversations in the next room, occasions when he caught her staring into nothingness, the rain checks she had given him.  though the passion of love still engulfed them, there were times that he sensed that she had something–or someone–else on her mind.  now, the house is empty, void of her enchanting and illuminating presence; the halls, quiet from her vibrant laughter and soothing voice; his life, spun into uncertainty.

they met three years earlier at the lobby of a well-known corporation.  turns out that they were the remaining two candidates vying for regional vice president.  he had a commanding, yet charming presence, was sharply dressed, ruggedly confident, eyes that gave ladies a look that was to die for, and had a masters degree to boot.  she, on the other hand was classy and elegant, athletic, had beauty pageant-like curves, had her long, black hair tied down, and with matching small glasses that made her look like a snobbish librarian; but had that killer smile that no man almost cannot say no to.  these were all enough for both of them to strike an awkward and uneasy conversation with each other while waiting for their respective appointments.  they understood that only one of them will eventually get the job, but that didn’t stop that first conversation from turning into coffee dates, park strolls, book-reading conventions, pizza tuesdays, bowling challenges, and comedy night.  eventually, they moved in together for they couldn’t be more right for each other.  she made him take control of his life, while he let her explore her dreams.

it was three years of blissful love and unwavering romance.  he told her everything about himself, while she, all but once aspect of her past.  more than once, she used a line from the movie, titanic, which goes, “a woman’s heart is but an ocean of secrets,” but had assured him that whatever is from the past, stayed there.  he believed her, but couldn’t tell to himself whether he was sure of it.  eventually, the arguments started.  although they would always find a way to patch things up, things would only get worse.  he wanted to find out what who was she constantly talking to, while she assured him that it was nothing.  still, there were times that he just simply let her do what she wants.  in turn, she felt like he didn’t care enough.  talking to a close friend made him realize that her past didn’t matter.  neither their arguments.  what is, was their love for each other and what’s ahead of them, facing it together.  he rushed home that day, bouquet and gift in hand, only to find her gone.  for weeks, he searched for her night and day to the point of exhaustion.  until one day, he was told by someone where she was.  he didn’t care where, he had to see for himself.

he was still seated when he finally fell to his knees as tears came down like rain.  his cries drowned out by thunder, the darkness flashed by lightning.  uncertainty and discord ran through his mind, as with the happy moments of their past together.  the love he gave her, the warmth she gave him, those magical years together, all lead to a one-worded thought he screamed into the night:  “why?”  his hands then fell to the ground, one still clutching that gift he planned to give her that day he came rushing home.  it was small in nature, but forever in meaning.  the rain didn’t wash away the tears, it only helped hide them as he stared grievingly into the freshly laid coffin in the ground.