i was going down memory lane and reading through some past entries when i came across this one from march of last year.  the very significant and unforgettable thing about this entry is that i got a lot of calls a couple of hours to several days after posting it from friends and former colleagues who have read it asking if there is something wrong with me or if i'm physically and medically ok.  i actually didn't expect those gestures and was surprised at the effect that entry had on them since the entry never mentioned me specifically.  i sounded like a broken record to everyone who called, saying that "i'm really ok and don't worry, there's nothing wrong with me.  really."  but i was and still am thankful for the kind words about the effect i had on their lives and how significant my friendship is with them.  so, for the new and old readers alike who don't have the time to backread, i'm re-posting that particular entry, which i could say, is one of the most personal entries on my blog that best shows how imaginative a person such as me can be.  hope you enjoy it.

it was a bright and sunny thursday afternoon when he stepped out of the building, wondering what to do next.  his meeting had gone well, much as he expected.  he thought of calling her to break the news, but he's still hesitant to do so.  he has asked her out several times before, but was always turned down.  he never knew what the real reasons were, or if there are any at all.  but it wasn't always like that.  after they had met, they were inseparable; him sacrificing his rest from work in order to be with her, and her bailing out on friends' birthday parties and gatherings just to be with him.  but things went downhill after he had told her what he felt.  after all, she still has a boyfriend of three or so years and she still loves him even though he was working out of the country and it is pretty much a long distance relationship.  but since that fateful day, things have been different.  and yet even if he felt like the whole world crashed on him, he put it all in stride, continued to love her in silence as they went in different directions.  he became succesful in his career, and transferred to a better company a few months ago.  on the other hand she finally got a job in the same field as he, but in a different company.  although they still talked to each other, they were few and far in between.

deciding to take a chance, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his mobile phone.  "at least i tried," he said to himself as he dialed her number.  he thought of sending a text message first, but given the situation, he would rather hear it straight from her and not wait for a reply via sms.  her phone rang.  there was no answer.  he dialed again and got the same result.  disappointed, he put down the phone and walked to the car.  just as he got in, another round of headaches started kicking in.  these have become frequent during the last few weeks, that at one time he felt going blind.  though on this episode, the attacks died down after only a couple of seconds.  as he tried to recompose himself, the conversation from his appointment kept running through his head like a tape recorder playing again and again.  though he couldn't believe what he was told, at the back of his mind several months ago, he had prepared for this scenario.  he had also thought to himself back then that "it would be one storybook ending, and a hell of a way to go with the things i've been through; just as i pictured it to be."

his nervousness and anxiety kept building as he drove towards her place, but the chance of seeing her again made him more excited.  as he parked the car in front of her house, he sent a message to her, saying that he's already there.  "two minutes," came the swift reply.  keeping the engine running, he stepped out of the car and leaned at the rear passenger door, like a groom ready to receive her bride.  as she stepped out, his face brightened.  she never looked more beautiful.  in fact, that was what he told to himself the last time they were together.  yet everytime he sees her, she grows more and more stunning.  she greeted him with a kiss on the cheek and a hug.  "hey there," she said as her arms went around him.  surprised by the gesture, he hugged her back.  as he looked at her face, he noticed that her eyes were a bit swelled up.  "you ok?" he asked.  "you look like you didn't sleep much."  "yeah, had some things to do," she replied back.  "but i'm ok.  let's go, i'm kinda hungry already."

"what's wrong?"  he asked, concerned about what she was feeling seeing that her face was serious and there were signs of tears filling her eyes.  breaking the silence, she said, "we broke up today.  he called me up at home and admitted that he's seeing someone for six months now and has fallen for her."  a solitary tear ran down her cheek
as he went over to where she was seated and hugged her.  "all this time, i have been loyal to him, loved him, and now this?" she said in between sobs.  "even though there were other guys coming up to me and trying to court me, i turn them away because i was in a relationship.  why did he do this to me?"  at that point, she was already breaking down.  he just continued to hug her and whispered, "it's not your fault.  you were good to him.  you were every bit the kind of girlfriend a guy can ever ask for to him.  you did what thought was right.  i'm so sorry this happened."  by then, he felt that this wasn't about him or what he's gonna tell her.  it was now about this woman, who, even though she took advantage of his kindness, endured the drastic changes that happened after professing his feelings for her, made promises to him that were never realized, and even owed him money, but he still loves dearly.  her sobbing started to die down and continued on telling him what happened.  "that was the time you were trying to call me on my mobile phone.  so now you know why i didn't answer it."  realizing what happened, he quickly apologized for calling at a very bad time.  "it's ok.  i was even glad that when i saw my phone, there were two missed calls coming from you.  'twas kinda like a sign or somethin'.  i guess it's fate's way of us telling us to be together tonight," she said.  her hug was still firm.  she then let go, looked at him with a smile amidst tears still falling from here eyes and said, "but that's over now.  i have cried about it long enough after that.  the thing is, i'll always have you.  you were always there for me even though i treated you horribly, i took you for granted, but i realize now that it was you all along.  i still have you, right?"

"yes, i'll always be here," he said as his thoughts then shifted to wondering if he's still going to tell her what happened to him earlier that day.  she leaned on his shoulder after hearing his reply, and breathed a sigh of relief.  suddenly, she then asked, "you said that you wanted to talk to me about something?  what is it?"