a couple of things:  first, i've been going to work sick since sunday night; second, my head feels like it's being split open by a piledriver; third, my team's absenteeism is unbelievably and frustratingly high; and fourth, that dreaded trip to the US has finally been set, much to my mom's delight and to my utmost dismay.

the first and second things, well, that i couldn't control.  i've been taking my overload dose of vitamin c and it's still not taking effect.  the third is also out of my control, with one of my agents having hemorrhagic cystits, whatever that is.  filing for a leave of absence came way too late after the agent incurring occurrences absences of more than two weeks.  the fourth, well, i'm too sick and tired to rant about it, and i have also ranted about it before on a previous entry, so you can refer to the link and see exactly how i feel about it.

what am i trying to say?  that i'm stuck in something that is unavoidable.  all of them are things that i wish i had more control of, but it's the inevitable.  but the trip itself, now that is like being led to the gallows.  i sure as hell don't want it, i'm being forced to take it, i'm being forced to spend (read:  take a loan) for it, and a chunk of my vacation leaves have already been dedicated to that trip (and have been approved by my boss).  imagine not having a planned three-day weekend for almost two months!

crap.

no, wait, let me rephrase that…  shit.

that's exactly how i feel right now.