i started writing poems back in college.  i didn't have much of a so-called college life back then (partying, going out, randomly cutting class, etc.).  i was a typical, just-another-face-in-the-crowd, lying-low, org-insignificant college boy.  yeah, boring, i know.  yet i did have my share of adventures and misadventures as well.  but i guess the two main phases of my college life was my ex-girlfriend and being a working student, with the former being the main reason and driving force behind putting unspoken and raw emotions into paper (i didn't have a computer back then).  i have written quite a few–i would call them outbursts–poems and it's only when i showed it to some close friends later on, realized that i may have something close to being a talent or skill.  i continued writing poems after college, yet not as often as i used to.  mind you, i only write poems when i'm in an emotional state of mind.  emotional being throwing reason out the front door and relying on pure guts and feeling, not giving a rat's ass as to what right and wrong were.  you can't just approach me and go, "hey, how about writing a poem about, say, how life sucks?"  i would give you a beating so hard that you'll be able to write one saying how you wish your life doesn't suck.  it just doesn't work that way.  call it a poetic trance, if you like.

on this installment of the 31-on-31 series, i'll be posting the very first poem i wrote after college.  it's free verse, so there's none of that rhyming shit.  it was written on the night of march 12th, 1998, 11:32pm to be exact (i put time stamps on my works).  some of my friends are actually familiar with this poem, and i remember one of them (may he rest in peace) posting it on a now defunct personal website.  without further delay, here's one piece of myself being made public (technically for the second time).  hope everyone has a good weekend.

casualty of love

by markie – written at 11:32 pm, 3/12/98 

I'm a casualty of love
in a battle that I fought
where you have everything to gain,
and everything to lose.

And yet if I am called once again
to fight from the very start,
God only knows that this casualty of love
will never hesitate and will rise and fight once again.