dear cupid,

yes, it is you who i am writing to. i know that today is valentine's and yes, it is a holiday for you. i'm just hoping that amidst your sitting on a beach somewhere enjoying your well-deserved day of respite while holding a glass of piña colada, you would find time to read something from little ol' me.

i'm not writing about the state of my lovelife. well, not entirely. you see, everything is fine–to say the least–about everything that has been going on in my life. the only thing missing is, well, that's where you come in.

i have been single for so long that i lost count. i can say the same way about getting my heart broken through near misses and being the "meantime guy." and believe me, though randomly going out on dates is good, it has started to lose it's appeal. not that i'm blaming you for all of this, but i guess i'm just frustrated with how women come into my life, potentially being the "one," but sooner or later, things just won't go the way it should. at this point in time, i think i have the right to be selfish. after all, it has always been me letting go of someone. it has always been "their happiness first," or "where their heart truly belongs," or them saying, "i only see you as a friend," or the most popular of them all, it has been always them just disappearing.

maybe it's the right place at the wrong time, but that's just it. it has never been the right time with the right place. making both parties fall in love was supposed to be your main function. yet if memory serves me right, it has always been one-sided. i admit, i easily fall in love most of the time, but why is it when a thing such as love is professed by me, it's like a disease that makes women high tail it? i don't think there's something wrong with how i say it, i mean, i have learned from my mistakes, yet i end up creating new ones. and the cycle repeats itself.

please let the vicious cycle end soon. i mean, i just want to meet someone who, for once, will eventually feel the same way i do. is that too much to ask? i just hope that i'll meet her maybe through a friend or chance upon the cafeteria at work, walk right by me on the street or when i'm being asked for a light at a bar, in church or in a crowded mall, or anywhere in between. and when that happens, i'm looking forward to, among other things, spending time with her and see how the world is through her eyes, be there for her when things aren't going her way, be the voice of reason when despair descends, and wipe the tears off her eyes when crying is the only option left.

i hope i haven't taken much of your time by reading this and i'm sorry if i ranted too much. and i also do hope you find her soon. she's out there, you just haven't let us cross our paths yet, but i know she is out there, somewhere, waiting for right time for our eyes to meet and, well, you know the rest.

have a peaceful holiday valentine's.

sincerely… me.