20 years of martial rule, six years of democratic recuperation, another six years of gaining momentum, three years of plunder, and 9 years of unabashed and unchecked mismanagement.  Looking at almost five decades of history, i only ask one question:

 

 

Can we really, truly say that we are proud to be called Filipinos?  Back in my college years, when my social consciousness was still in it’s infancy, you’ll hear me brag about being truly Filipino despite my father working in the US and not giving a damn thing about what’s going on around the country.  Yet as I moved on and became a taxpayer in my own right, slowly becoming a spectator in the world of local politics, business, entertainment, lifestyle and society; even with all the negativity surrounding all those aspects, I still stood firm on my stand that no matter what happens, I wouldn’t leave this country in exchange for a better life somewhere else in the world.

 

But during these past couple of years, I started to see the horror that has plagued our nation as a whole.  When and how it started, I or we may never know.  Yet I bet almost all of us will point in one direction as to where it came from:  the government.  That may, in some cases be true, but I think it came from all of us, me included.  And what is this plague i’m talking about?  It’s an unnamed, immeasurable, unquantifyable… “thing” that I believe can only be found here in our country.  Don’t kid yourselves, you’ve all seen it.  You either put it off saying, “it’s in our nature,” or “it has always been like that,” or just don’t give a damn because it doesn’t directly involve you.  And with that mentality, comes the bigger problem.  Is it indifference?  Maybe, but on a much bigger and different scale.  Don’t get me wrong, we Filipinos always put our finger on almost everything.  The problem with most of us is, we don’t give attention to things worth giving attention to, and we give all of our attention to things that we should care less about.

 

Misguided social consciousness you say?  Maybe.  As I mentioned earlier, if it doesn’t affect us personally, then it’s not worth giving any thought about it.  Is that how rudely selfish we have become?  I once saw a segment on a local gag show parodying a current affairs program where a journalist goes around the streets of the metro asking pedestrians at random on what the sign, “No Jaywalking” means.  Expectedly, there were very funny and absurd answers.  But kidding aside, that got me thinking, how in the world do these people not know what the sign means?  On a similar example from personal experience:  in malls, there’s a ceratin section dedicated to pedestrians crossing the street being manned by either security guards or traffic enforcers.  And yet when pedestrians are being told to stay where they are until all cars come to a halt, still there are who could care less and just cross the street at will.  It’s a simple instruction that, for the life of me, I can’t understand why some people still ignore.  It may be a tiny bit in what i’m trying to point out, but believe me, it affects who we are as a person.

 

I could numerate countless and countless examples of “misguided social consciousness” (that’s the term i’m using until I can find a more suitable one), but let me get right to the most current one:  we all know that this is election year, and unfortunately, during the middle part of last year, we started seeing these so-called “infomercials” on TV by persons who would be candidates for national positions trying to identify themselves (or their “advocacies”) to the people.  And this, despite a law in effect that forbids early election campaigning.  C’mon, it doesn’t take a complete retard to know that it is blatant campaigning!  Just because it doesn’t say “vote for..” in the ad doesn’t mean it’s not campaign material!  I for one became sick of these ads that I nearly committed to myself not to vote in the elections.  And what did we do about these ads?  Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  And yet when some local celebrity makes a scandal, statement or fuss out of a certain group of people, government and law-making bodies and religious organizations go gaga over denouncing it.

 

Again, I beg the question:  “what have we become?”

 

Putting the spotlight again on the elections, more specifically the voting population, the battlecry these days seem to be, “change.”  We all want change, we all clamor for change.  We even have that fat, ugly lady prouncing around like an idiot named “change.”  But are we ready for change?  Are we capable of change?  Change is defined as (correct me if i’m wrong) “the process of becoming or making different.”  Based on that thought, do you percieve that just because a person is a son of a former senator and president makes him qualify for change?  Do you perceive a former businessman making loads and loads of money and spending it on forcing his advocacies down our throats as change?  How about a person convicted (mind you, “convicted”) of plunder, does he constitute change?  Or a person identified with the current administration, does he promote change?  If we want change, we should start with ourselves and how we do things.  Yet it doesn’t mean that when one leader goes astray, we all take the streets and demand an ouster.  What worked once or twice cannot work all the time (hence  there is what is called “rule of law”).  If we rely on campaign jingles as basis of electing our next leader, then that is not change.  If we rely on sympathy as basis for propelling someone to the presidency, then that is not change.  If undecided voters use survey results to go with who is popular to choose who to vote for, that is not change.

 

To put a more serious spin on a superhero line, “with democracy comes the greatest of responsibilities.”  Yes, we do live in a democracy.  Sadly, in general, we’re irresponsible citizens.  I’ll also go out on a limb and also state that Filipinos are politically immature.  With the kind of set up we have now, it puts fact to that statement.  Now, since the answer to my question at the top of this entry is quite the negative one, I now pose a follow-up:

 

 

the room was bathed in sunlight as the clouds moved away.  freshly poured rain engulfs the landscape and the sound of birds slowly came to life.  yet erie silence still was deafening as he lay still, only to be broken by the occasional blips of the monitors that are connected to him, monitoring his every condition.  he has been this way for over four months now with still no signs of improvement.  flowers, balloons, stuffed toys, and get-well gifts and cards from friends wishing for a miracle are scattered around as the nurse enters for her daily routine.  the sound of the opening door awakened her, slumped on his bedside.
 
“any changes during the night?” the nurse asked her as she slowly gathered herself.  “none,” was her waking reply.  the nurse smiled as she proceeded to him to check the instruments and get the usual readings–heart rate, blood pressure, pupil dilation–and other signs.  “i see the rain finally stopped,” she remarked as she noticed the warm sunlight going thorugh the droplet-stained window.  “yeah, it was raining non-stop the whole night,” the nurse replied.  she then observed her as the nurse went about her daily routine when she noticed one of his fingers on his left arm twitch.  although she has seen this before and is considered normal for someone in his condition, she somehow felt that this was different.

“he’s…  he’s…”  she stammered to get her words out to the nurse as she continued to see the twitch become successive in nature.  “i’ve told you before that that is normal,” the nurse replied without even paying attention to the movements.  then suddenly, the monitors started beeping long and loud as his vital stats started to deteriorate.  the nurse, startled by the turn of events, pressed the emergency button near the head board and called on the intercom.

“emergency on room 524, we need a doctor immediately!”  shouted the nurse as she started doing CPR on him.  teary eyed, she fell to her knees as the nurse frantically tried to revive him.  doctors and other nurses stormed into the room a few seconds later and surrounded him.  one of the other nurses checked for a pulse and a doctor asked the first nurse information about what happened.  the room was filled with a series of instructions, monitor noises, and frantic requests for more equipment.  “get the crash cart!” one doctor ordered.  “continue giving CPR,” said another.  “still no pulse,” one nurse reported.  amidst all the chaos, she was still on her knees, crying that this revival attempt may not end well and may be the last.  there have been similar instances before, but during those times, the doctors and nurses were able to bring him back, only to a more deteriorated state.

more medical personnel came rushing through the door with crash cart in tow.  it seemed like an eternity as it was hooked up and ready for a last ditch effort to save his life.  “still no pulse,” the nurse shouted as CPR was still being administered.  “get ready to charge the pads,” the doctor instructed.  the high-pitched sound of charging then filled the room.  “charge to 60,” was the first order.  “charged to 60,” the nurse reported back.  “okay, stand clear!”  the doctor yelled as he took the pads and placed them on his chest.  “clear!”  a shuddering thud was then heard, followed by the long beep of a flat line status.  “still flatline,” the nurse shouted.  “continue CPR and charge to 80,” said the doctor.  frantically, the nurse resumed CPR as the defibrillator was being charged.  “charged to 80.”  “clear!”  another thud was heard and another flat line tone.  “still flatline,” the nurse repeated.  “still no pulse either,” a second nurse said.  “continue CPR and charge to 100,” the doctor reordered.  at this point, the doctor was starting to be convinced that continued revival efforts may be futile.  “charged to 100.”  “clear!”  a third resounding thud followed, but still another flatline tone was heard.  “re-charge to 100.  this is it,” the doctor said as he prepared to get ready to shock him for one last time.  her cries now can be heard in the room amidst the flurry of activity.  “re-charged to 100.”  “clear!”  and a fourth and final thud was heard as the last revival effort came.

there was silence after administering the final attempt, then the familiar long tone of a flat line was heard again.  everyone in the room then became silent as the long tone overcame the air.  even her cries were silenced by the realization that it was all over.  the people around him had their heads bowed.  then suddenly a solitary blip was heard.  followed by another.  and another.  the nurse quickly held his wrist.  “got a pulse!”  she then shouted.  “heart rate and blood pressure stabilizing,” said another.  she slowly rose to her feet, not believing that this was happening.  she was still fixed on his face, as she then moved towards him.  his eyes then began showing signs of movement, which had everyone in the room in a collective gasp.  slowly, his dark brown eyes began to show themselves to everyone after a very long time.  she again cried, this time, with tears of joy as she then lunged at him with a warm embrace.  the long wait was over.  in the midst of celebration, he can only whisper two words to her as she held him tight,

“i’m back.”