I never thought I’d see the day that one presidential election in our country could be as historic and almost as life-changing as it could ever be than the one we’ll be having on May 10th.  With barely three weeks left until that fateful day when we Filipinos cast our ballot to determine who will lead our nation for the next six years, you can feel the tenfold increase of campaign sorties, election news in local media, and with the popularity of social networking sites, it too hasn’t been spared of election fever.  Take a walk around our immediate village area, and you’ll see ribbons and streamers of candidates being supported posted on most houses’ entrance gates or on their cars.  A couple of years back, I wasn’t all into politics, nor did I even care.  But with the events in recent years, it somehow pushed me to be a part of the political scene, even if I’m just a mere spectator.  Having no affiliation whatsoever with any political party, or even knowing–even by association–someone who is in politics, I guess it helped me understand a bit more what’s really at stake.  With that in mind, I’d like to share my perceptions (some more than others) of the presidential candidates running for the top post in the land, and ending with who I am supporting (even though most of you already know who it is) and the reasons why.  Some of my opinions may be biased in nature since I’m only limited to what I have seen, read, heard, and researched (you can’t completely rule out bias, believe me) and how I understand each candidates’ body language in how they handle themselves in this campaign season.  As always, comments are very much welcome and appreciated, so feel free to have your say.

1.  Benigno “Noynoy” Aquino III – Having a former senator-turned-martyr/hero for a father and a former president for a mother, Noynoy sure has enormous shoes to fill.  But allegations of unstable psychiatric conditions aside, is he really ready to assume the reins of the presidency?  There’s an old saying that goes along the lines of, “one who doesn’t seek power for his own deserves to have it.”  That may be true on some arguments, but tell me honestly, if his mother endured the cancer for a couple more months up until the filing of candidacies before succumbing to the call of the reaper, would he even consider–let alone ponder–running for president?  I would’ve loved to borrow Marty and Doc Brown’s Delorean and travel back to convice Mrs. Aquino to hold on for a couple more months just to preserve the legacy she and her husband created.  Don’t get me wrong, I respect what Mr. and Mrs. Aquino have accomplished during their time.  That is why it should just remain with them.  On the flip side, what happened during the last Aquino presidency in which Mrs. Aquino herself beforehand was “forced by the will of the people” to run and win the election?  How many coup attempts were made?  Exactly.  With a carbon copy scenario now looming, are we ready to live with that?  While very few are questioning his sincerity to run (myself included), what’s glaring is what he has–or rather, hasn’t–accomplished during his time in Congress and in the Senate.  What, once he wins, he’ll surround himself with people with more experience than he has as advisers?  What good will that do him?  He may have the title of President, but he’ll sure won’t be acting like one.  Case in point:  almost all of his political ads mention his parents’ legacy.  Why can’t he stand on his own two feet and man up?  Because he has nothing to show for!  Amidst all this, what’s being forgotten is how majority of the people react.  It’s sad to note that while Mrs. Aquino was labeled “the icon of democracy” in the Philippines, most of us think that her son is worthy of continuing to carry that label as the next president.  Really?  Just because Noynoy carries the surname Aquino?  Maybe if we have a monarchial or oligarchial form of government, that would’nt be questioned.  Sad to say, much of the voting population rely on name recall and, in this case, what Noynoy’s parents have done.

2.  John Carlos “JC” Delos Reyes – A relative unknown in national politics, a councilor in Olongapo City.  Insert long pause here.  While I respect his guts and cajones the size of grapefruits in running for president, I believe he should focus on his immediate constituents first.  I’ve seen how he handled himself in debates early on the campaign season, and he’s close to looking a nervous wreck as I’ve ever seen.  He may have all the right answers under that suave looking hair of his, but the lack of experience under the bright national political lights hampered in getting his message across.  Even with the backing of some of the high ranking Catholic bishops in the country won’t create enough momentum to catapult him to reach even Mendiola, let alone Malacañan Palace.  Now, if the election is based on how hot your spouse is, then JC will be a far second with the kind of wife he has.  Noynoy would’ve easily won hands down with that Cristine Reyes lookalike (in my opinion) of a significant other.  But seriously, JC may have all the right intentions and principles in running for president, but let’s face it.  He’s way over his head.  He needs to try making a significant impact first, like his uncle did.  He’s still young and with the right attitude and experience, he’ll go a long way in the field of (dirty) politics.

3.  Joseph “Erap” Ejercito Estrada – Now, I’ll try hard to find something good about this man.  Insert very long pause here.  Actor, former Mayor of San Juan, former Senator, former Vice-President, former Plunderent, i mean President.  I’ll say it once, and I’ll say it again:  I never liked actors-turned-politicians.  It’s one of the worst forms of opportunism.  Just because you’re good at potraying different roles in movies doesn’t make you qualified to take on the highest executive position in the country.  I learned that the hard way when I voted for Joey Marquez when he ran and won the mayoralty race here in Parañaque City.  And look what he did.  Nothing.  He continued to moonlight in TV appearances as mayor and frequenting gentleman’s clubs at night.  The only exception I consider in this case is Herbert Bautista.  He absolutely made a 180-degree turn on showbiz after becoming a councilor for Quezon City and focused everything he had in learning how to genuinely serve the people.  That is why he is successful in what he does.  As for Erap, well, if the Erap jokes aren’t enough to potray his–how should I say this–lack of a muscle that is called a brain on top of his burly head, I don’t even know why people are still endeared to him.  Remember that this man was convicted–let me repeat and emphasize that word again, “convicted”–of plunder.  And he still has the poor excuse of a face to run for the position he was ousted for?  I thought JC Delos Reyes had the biggest cajones, but I may be wrong.  Well, with Erap having numerous affairs with women, maybe he does hold an edge with JC in that area.  Given that he did rid most of the insurgency in Mindanao, but having the
tough guy image he has made in his movies, that would come natural.  If you only know one way how to fight bad guys, he most definitely did that with the Moro Islamic Liberation Front.  As an actor, Erap is all about image and he has invested in that for years.  Sadly, that what the masses look at.  Someone who they will take by just looking at his face.

4.  Maria Ana Consuelo “Jamby” Madrigal – The only woman among the field of presidential candidates, current Senator, belongs to a wealthy clan that owns a big part of Alabang and also belongs to a family of a former Philippine president.  For some reason, I can’t understand why she put her hat in the rat race.  And for someone who utilized a well-known actress to endorse-slash-campaign for her in her second bid at the Senate, it’s quite a turnaround that she didn’t do so this time.  Although she did quite make a noise while in the Senate (for the life of me, I can’t recall one except the C5 controversy, all I know is that she was upset about some things), I’m skeptical about her intentions to make voters go with her.  Yet, even if she does have the resources (obviously) to launch a nationwide campaign, many people are wondering what has she done to make her deserving to sit on the president’s chair.  But, we live in a democracy (a badly needs repair kind of democracy), and one of the COMELEC’s guidelines in declaring a valid presidential candidate is an oversized bank account, so she’s free to do what she wants.  Other than that, no pauses are needed.  Just to move on with the next.

5.  Nicanor Jesus “Nick” Perlas III – Environmentalist, author, activist, teacher, farmer, executive, former minor government official.  I admit, I was impressed with what he had to show for in the debates early in the campaign period.  He has the experience, the abilities, the attitude, but sadly, the presidency is one position I don’t see him having.  Like JC, i applaud his guts in gunning for the highest seat in the land, but not having held any local position doesn’t give him a “solid base” of supporters.  If he ran for senator, he would have my vote.  He would be a fresh face in the Senate and with his experience, would help enact legislation that would benefit the agricultural and environmental sectors of the country.  I would definitely choose him over other qualified and veteran senatorial candidates like Ralph Recto, Juan Ponce Enrile, Frank Drilon (all three of whom I still wouldn’t vote for), or other newbies such as Satur Ocampo or Liza Masa.  With his experience and abilities, he has the right tools.  But unfortunately, also like JC, he lacks experience in the national scene.

6.  Gilberto “Gibo” Teodoro, Jr. – Lawyer, former congressman, former Defense Secretary, belongs to the Cojuanco clan which has ties to the Aquino family.  Honestly, for me, he is a good second choice.  While the Liberal and Nacionalista Parties throw everything but the kitchen sink at one another, his political party, Lakas-Kampi, is like being eaten away by termites.  Yet despite all that, he’s still focused and vows to stay the course until the very end.  He also refused to enter the deathmatch arena between the LP and NP.  As one friend on Facebook recently posted, “go ahead, pull each other down.  I’m not voting for either anyway.”  Though doing loyalty checks among party members is but normal, it shows that despite rats jumping off a sinking ship, it is still his ship and with faith in the captain, their destination can be reached.  Qualifications?  Yes, he has them.  But there are three things that made me not choose him.  First, his affiliation with GMA.  Though he tries to avoid being seen with GMA at all costs by the media and everyone else, it’s like guilt by association.  He had a good thing going with his former political party, the Nationalist People’s Coalition, then he suddenly jumps ship to the ruling party?  No wonder he’s currently taking a dose of his own medicine.  Second, his response to the Ondoy and Pepeng tragedies.  While no one could’ve expected or prepared for the worst way possible with the hitting of those two typhoons last year, his reaction towards what’s happening speak for itself.  His lack of coordination with different agencies and even with the National Disaster Coordinating Council show that, as that council’s chairman and Secretary of National Defense, he is unable to take control of the relief efforts.  If he has shown inability to do that, how can he do so when he takes over the presidency?  And third, his choice of Edu Manzano as his running mate.  I mean, WTF?  I thought Gibo has skill and brains but why pick Edu?  Can’t he choose someone who is more qualified than a glorified game show host?  I must admit, initially, I would’ve picked Gibo, but the three things I mentioned were a game-changer.

7.  Bro. Eduardo “Eddie” Villanueva – Leader of the religious group Jesus Is Lord, first ran for president in 2004.  I can’t help but think that if he wins, it would be like the Spanish days wherein the Church “rules” over the government.  I am a big advocate of separation of Church and State, so voting for Bro. Eddie would be going against my beliefs.  I literally laughed out loud when I heard him say during a debate that if elected, the very first thing he would do is declare national day(s) of prayer.  What?  Why?  Because he hasn’t have a clue what he has gotten himself into!  Though I am also a practicing Catholic (sometimes), I believe we cannot rely on religious nutcases to run the country.  If crisis erupts, what will he do?  Tell the nation to just pray and hold on to dear life?  He may have the faith to run for the presidency, but he doesn’t have the structure, spine, or guts to do what an objective man would do.

8.  Manuel “Manny” Villar Jr. – Business tycoon and a current senator.  If I don’t like actors-turned-politicians, I don’t trust businessmen-turned-politicians for the simple reason that a businessman will always be a businessman.  And that revolves around one thing:  profit maximization.  Early 2009, we’ve already seen his so-called “advocacy ads” on TV.  It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that they are the seeds for what will eventually become a horde–no, a gargantuan flood–of political ads, all being shoved down our throats through catchy jingles, pity-ridden street kids, and sheer spending.  He should know, being a businessman for years, investing in advertising is the best way to win votes over to his camp, just like selling shampoo to a bald person.  With this kind of “overspending” (i still feel that word doesn’t do justice to what he’s done), most thinking men would stop and wonder, “how would he get it all back?”  I’m going out on a limb in saying that politics in the Philippines is 90-95%
self-serving.  And Manny has done that for years as mayor, congressman, and senator.  And the presidency is his ultimate goal in establishing himself as the country’s CEO.  While his subordinates work their asses off, he’s reaping all the profit.  Never mind what he did for the OFWs and other people in need.  Again, it’s his “investment plan.”  Sure, he’ll provide opportunities for everyone.  All of which are to work for him.  Maybe not directly, but the end profit stops with him.

9.  Richard “Dick” Gordon – Former Olongapo City Mayor, former Subic Bay Metropolitan Authority Chairman, former Secretary of Department of Tourism, current Philippine National Red Cross Chairman, current Senator.  What is the one thing he did in all of the positions he held?  He made them better.  Transformed Olongapo City from being labeled a “sin city” to a progressive city.  Transformed Subic Bay from a heap of unused military base equipment to a thriving business hub that attracted foreign multinational corporations.  Transformed the tourism industry in the Philippines using his “WOW Philippines” advocacy to have our Boracay and Palawan beaches being mentioned as one of the top vacation spots in the world.  Transformed the Philippine National Red Cross from a fledging organization always in need of donations, to a first-responding organization in times of calamities and tragedies.  It is but fitting that his tandem with former Metro Manila Development Authority Chairman Bayani Fernando is called “Transformers.”  And how did he do it?  Through his no-nonsense leadership style.  Now that is what is lacking with the other presidentiable candidates.  The right attitude to get things done.  Unfortunately, most Filipinos frown on that type of leadership.  But that is what’s needed to revive the state of our country.  The same leadership style Bayani Fernando enforced in Marikina while he was mayor.  Look at what happened.  Discipline is present, which is automatically followed by orderliness, cleanliness, and ultimately, progress.  Our country doesn’t just need a change in leadership.  Moreover, it needs a change in the attitude of leadership.  We have to have that sense of urgency, that sense of transparency, and most importantly, discipline.  Most of us dream of working overseas to earn more than enough for our families.  And yet the type of leadership in those countries is almost similar to one another.  Enforcement and discipline which our leadership, our government lacks badly.  But what Gordon and Bayani are offering is the chance for our country to be competitive with the rest of our Asian neighbors.  And that starts within.  Not through legacies carved out of useless sacrifices, not through self-serving political carousels, not through mind-conditioning survey results, but through sheer self-discipline and proven results.  That is why I support them.  And slowly, more and more people are realizing that too.  Volunteerism, as what Dick proved how things worked so well with Subic and Olongapo, is also being done with their campaigns.  This is real, honest-to-goodness belief in what we can achieve without millions worth in money and resources.  This shows real teamwork, real changes, real results.

It is in Gordon-Bayani’s platform that I realized that there is still hope to our ever-failing trust in our leadership, our government.  As another friend who posted on Facebook mentioned, “voting for the lesser evil among the candidates is still choosing evil.”  We don’t have a lesser evil.  We have a clear choice.  What have the other candidates done?  Were they real, lasting, significant changes?  Ask yourself, who would you give your vote to, someone who is popular, is the talk of the town but not because of his accomplishments, but because of his name, wealth, or movie-star good looks yet lacks what’s really needed for this country to get out of the hellhole we’ve been in?  Or someone who is not using popularity as a means to convey others to join in the bandwagon, but displays achievements and accomplishments made proudly as a badge or scars of war and has the real, proven, and hopeful type of change we long for?  The next six years of our lives are at stake.  Don’t waste it by not voting or voting for someone just because he or she is the favorite of the survey results, or has a catchy jingle.  For you heads of families, this is for your children’s future.

Gordon-Bayani.  Tunay at napatunayang pagbabago.  Sigurado.  (Gordon-Bayani.  Real and proven change.  For sure.)

With the campaign for the presidential elections entering the home stretch during it’s final weeks, I suddenly found myself wondering, “what if I were to be elected president of the Philippines?”  It never dawned on me to enter the dirty world of politics (but with what’s going on in this world, nothing is ever a certainty) since I’d rather be on the other side, the one criticizing elected officials.  But as I was watching a banter between two political parties this morning about a psychiatric condition of one of the candidates on a local morning show, the host quoted an article on the constitution the qualifications of being a president of our country and pointed out that there is no provision stating the proper mental and psychological health of the candidate.

That’s when the lightbulb at the top of my head began to light up.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my own little share of politics, though not on the same grander scale as, let’s say our own town, but of a little known youth organization here in our area.  I was a founding member of our organization and elected as the very first vice-president.  I served for a year, mainly coordinating with the SK chairperson on projects benefiting our immediate area, and then was elected as president the following year in what was to be the final three years of the youth organization under my leadership since there was no one who wanted to take up the succeeding duties and responsibilities, and eventually, the organization died a natural death with then most of us officers moving on to bigger things (junior and senior college, and ultimately, as professionals).  Fast forward to recent years, I have been a Team Leader, an Assistant Manager, and a Manager, so executive duties–which are almost the same as how Mayors and other local and national posts are being run–are not new to me.

With that being said, let me just play around with my ideas and imagination using experience, the current problems of our country, and with being on the other side of the political fence on how maybe I, if I’m elected president, would run the country.  Who knows, maybe these ideas can be of use in the new presidency, God willing that any of the presidential candidates–even the one i’m openly supporting–would stop by and read this.  Mind you, these are what are the first thing(s) I thought about, so I know they’re limited in nature, but this is just for partial fun, so please bear with me.

With that in mind, if I were elected president, and assuming that everything is constitutional, I would implement-slash-do-slash-prioritize-take charge of the following:

1.  Have a massive reorganization of all cabinet and department heads, police and military brass – we all clamor for change.  And what better way to start than to have all existing heads submit their courtesy resignations, and I, along with a committee of five (one representative each from urban poor, business, catholic church, muslim group, and private sector) would have a selection process to name a new head of every department and government agency.  In this way, there will be no need for appointees to go through the Commission of Appointments which will save us valuable time and resources.

2.  Propose to Congress to increase by 200% the yearly budget allocation for these agencies:  Commission on Elections (Comelec), Department of Science and Technology (DOST), Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical and Astronomical Services Administration (PAGASA), Department of Health (DOH), National Disaster Coordinating Council (NDCC), Philippine Institute of Volcanology and Seismology (Philvocs) – Let’s face it.  These agencies are some of the least that are given adequate attention to.  And these are the agencies that are part of the most important agencies in our country consisting of islands sitting on the Pacific Rim of Fire, and are being battered by almost 20 typhoons each year.  And yet year after year, we go through devastating calamities without much improvement on how we can be better prepared for such.  Equipment, personnel, and research are much needed for them to do their function(s) accurately and properly.  As for the Comelec, the main reason for their inclusion on this list is to finally have the resources to improve the next elections, which will be in three years time for the local posts.

3.  Initiate a much more solid partnership between the business sector, the Department of Education and Commission on Higher Education – Why?  First and foremost, education in the Philippines is fast falling behind with our counterparts in Asia.  And the main reason?  Budget.  Teachers are underpaid, students can’t afford to go to school, school facilities are outdated.  With this partnership, the business sector can set a percentage of it’s profits to fund public and/or private schools to increase teachers’ salary, provide scholarships, and upgrade school facilities starting from Elementary all the way up to College or even Graduate Schools.  In return, students of these schools, once they graduate, can start working for the company-sponsor right away, almost eliminating the need to go job hunting and significantly reduce graduate unemployment.

4.  Give an ultimatum to all rebel groups to come forward to the negotiating table to talk about lasting peace, or otherwise be eradicated – This, I believe is the only solution to the problem of insurgency in our country.  While I’m all for peace, especially in Mindanao, I’m also someone who believes in the common good.  I would give time–say around six months–for all self-proclaimed rebel groups in the country to formulate their stand on certain issues, then we’ll hold high-level talks (out of the country if necessary).  If an agreement for lasting peace is reached, well and good.  If not, I won’t hesitate to use the entire Armed Forces of the Philippines, and espcially not hesitate to seek help from countries that are our allies to help crush these rebel groups for good.

5.  Initiate a wide-scale infrastructure, agricultural, and tourism program to help create jobs – Modernizing rural areas by way of a construction boom of resorts, vacation spots, food basins, housing and development would help our chain of islands become closer to one another.  Partnering the Department of Public Works and Highways (DPWH) with the Department of Tourism (DOT), foreign investors, the local business community, this would definitely ensure job creation with more than adequate compensation.  Once constructions are done, more jobs will be generated by the influx of commerce and tourism.

6.  Open the country to foreign media investments – ABS-CBN and GM
A, especially their current affairs divisions, often brag about being world-class.  Let them prove what they say when I ask foreign media outlets like CNN, BBC, Reuters to have their own branches here.  Singapore has them, Japan has them, China has them, so why can’t we?  Not just additional creation of jobs will be made, but the creativity, competitiveness, and homegrown talent will further be boosted and worldwide recognition will be up for grabs.

7.  Finally create a real separation of church and state – This probably will be the most controversial.  I have long been critical of the Catholic Church meddling with affairs of state, but this should stop here and now.  The church’s job is to preach, evangelize and promote faith.  Period.  They shouldn’t be interfering with what the state or government believes what’s needed to implement programs for the benefit of the common good, i.e., health programs, scientific research, etc.  The church doesn’t run the country, the government does.  The government won’t interfere with the church’s job of preaching, and they shouldn’t do the same with the government’s programs.  I’ll throw in a prosecution clause if I have to.

8.  Appoint the Vice-President as the head of the Bureau of Customs and Bureau of Internal Revenue and have him/her streamline the operations – These two agencies will be the source of most of the government’s funds for the various projects i’ll be implementing, so having the VP head them and do whatever it takes to fix them will ensure smooth flow of government funds and eradicate corruption.  In this way, no new taxes will be imposed, collection will be monitored strictly, and if needed, useless taxes will be removed.

Geesh, that was quite a load.  But that’s just what are at the top of my head.  I still have other ideas that are worthy of this space, like government form shifting, political party and dynasty limits, but to be honest, just thinking of running the country with the vast amount of problems we have makes me realize that the presidency is really, really, and I do mean really, a huge responsibility.  Makes me also wonder why so many are vying for it.  In any case, as I end this entry, let me just say that as voters, we really have to think long and hard as to who we believe is the right person to lead the country through the next six years.  Though i’m openly supporting one tandem candidate in particular, my space as to why I support him will be forthcoming.  But for now, I am urging everyone to please take time to review each candidate.  Who knows, maybe you and I have similar things as to what I’ve enumerated above.  What’s important is that our vote–our sacred vote–will be for the one who you truly believe would be the best for the Philippines.

Rarely do I get the chance of using my brother’s personal laptop at home, so now that I have that opportunity, I decided–among other things like checking Cafe World on Facebook–to post a new entry on my blog.  The topic at hand was taken from a friend’s blog as well, as I was blog-hopping yesterday to find new topics to write about.  I’ve been focusing too much on the upcoming elections and topics of social relevance that I thought to myself, “I oughta find something new to write about.”  And since I haven’t posted an entry about myself for the longest time, this was just right.

Come to think of it, I never seriously considered if there are or were things that I hate(d) about myself.  I’ve never been the self-reflective type.  I always thought that I say and act the things I feel because I’m me.  For the most part, my personality has been reflective of a real Gemini–whose symbolism is the twins–meaning I have a good side and a “dark” side.  Physically, i’ve never given too much attention to my anatomy, thinking that I was born this way, and I’ll stay this way until the day I die.  But as they say, there’s always a first time for everything, so this one’s for the history books.  I’ve always been known to write entries without the use of drafts, and I could honestly say that this is definitely one of them.  I think as I write, and I write as I go.  By the way, some of these traits may or may not be present in me at the moment, but at least I still count them as such.  So, in no particular sequence or order, and each with a brief explanation as to why, here are the 13 things I hate(d) about myself (and I’m hoping that I’ll get to at least 10):

1.  I fall (fell) in love easily – thinking of the first one took me a good three minutes.  This was very evident during my college years until my late twenties.  I guess together with the raging hormones (I really had to put that one there, huh?), the thought of being in a relationship was somewhat a security blanket for me because I was kinda afraid that I would end up being alone.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not using falling in love as an excuse to be in a relationship, but rather, the thought of loving a woman the way I know how is enough for me to at least be happy for myself and feel that I’m doing something good for myself.

2.  I’m intimidated by beautiful and gorgeous women – this is true up until today.  I obviously hate it because as a guy who likes beautiful women, I am unable to strike a conversation with them easily either when I’m introduced, or want to introduce myself.  I can’t seem to put a finger as to why, but it all boils down to this stupid reasoning:  “why would someone like her be talking or even paying attention to someone like me?  with how I look physically, I ain’t on the same league as her.”  Self-confidence issues?  Yeah, maybe, but I’ve been known to host parties, go onstage and make a fool of myself.  But somehow, with beautiful women, I can’t seem to wear my mask of self-confidence and be like how I am in front of my friends.  It’s a work in progress, and it’s definitely backlogged already.

3.  I get distracted easily – this applies in a variety of ways.  I get distracted when the goal I’m aiming for isn’t that important, or what I’m doing isn’t important enough.  Not a lack of focus, but rather, lack of solid reason why I’m doing what I’m doing.  Of course, there are a few exceptions to this, and one of them is driving.  One major accident (it was major to me) close to five years ago helped me get rid of being distracted while driving.  But with other things, sometimes I have to remind myself constantly in order for me to keep on going.

4.  My face, hair, body, and uhm… down there – enough said.  I wish I was more physically fit, physically attractive, had a hair that doesn’t have a mind of it’s own, and more well-endowed down there, but I ain’t.  That’s a fact I can’t hide from.  And that makes me hate it even more.  Moving on…

5.  It takes (took) me too long to get over a lost love – That’s not the case now, but boy, was I a clinger back then.  Looking back, it was something I was even proud of.  I’m all romantic and stuff, but realizing the missed opportunities I may have had if I moved on during the time I was supposed to, I now hate that aspect of my life.

6.  Almost always being the last one to know about stuff – They say that sometimes, it’s better not to know stuff, but not to me.  I’d rather be in the know about what goes on (especially in the workplace) than to be that dumb bloke who is laughed at and no one wants to talk to because I don’t know sh*t.  For the record, I’m no gossip, but when I get to know something, I don’t necessarily share it immediately with someone.  I wait for it to be brought up before I give my opinion on it.  Believe me, there were times that I didn’t have the slightest clue about something, yet everyone else knows all too well.

7.  Being indecisive at times – Even though I gathered enough information or background about something I need to do, buy, or just make a decision on, i can still get stumped.  Maybe it’s those little angels and devils sitting on my shoulders trying to win me over.  Though this happens rarely nowadays, I still hate it when I’m at that point in time.

8.  Being impulsive at times – Complete opposite of number seven, this also happens when I want something too quickly.  And there were times that I wasted good resources on something that isn’t really worthwhile.

9.  My reliance on technology and convenience – I am guilty of this.  Though I don’t completely hate this one about me, I just realized how far I have come from what was virtually tech-free back then.  I didn’t have a car, a mobile phone, internet, and cable TV during my younger years, but I was quite contented with my life.  With all these conveniences, my younger self would’ve kicked my present ass when it comes to doing what needs to be done.

10.  Losing all my “Choose Your Own Adventure” books – I had a shelf-load of those books back in high school but now, I don’t
have even one saved.  I honestly don’t know where they are now; probably thrown in the garbage without me knowing it.  I really loved those books and it made reading a hobby and a pastime.  Though I have a small keepsake box for all my memorable stuff, those set of books were the priceless things I didn’t put enough effort to preserve.  Damn it.

11.  Being the one at fault for “breaking” the Family Computer System – This was back during the rage of the Family Computer (Nintendo Entertainment System).  There was a peripheral for inserting a gun port (for games like “Duck Hunt”) that was rarely used.  I got information from a friend that on a specific game, if you place a coin in between the slots of the peripherals, the screen will change to a number corresponding which level of the game you want to play.  Wanting to finish the game outright, I tried doing that and instead of a number appearing on the screen, it went blank and the unit stopped functioning.  Upon diagnosis of the damage, it was a busted chip caused by the coin’s material on the port.  Needless to say, I was borrowing Family Computer sets from a friend from then on.  Sheesh!

12.  Not being able to experience a real prom – Being in an all-boys school is no excuse.  I already had a date during my junior year, but she stood me up.  So, the following year, I went solo.  I knew I could’ve done better, but I didn’t.  And with that, I missed one of the most important events in a growing man’s life.

13.  Being single – also enough said.  Although I mostly enjoy being single and the freedom that comes along with it, the thought that at my age, I don’t have a decent, stable relationship with a woman is a concern.  I don’t quite hate it that much yet, but it’s getting there.

Wow, I did reach 13!  Some took longer to think than others.  Yet even if I have these things about myself, I don’t hate myself entirely because of it.  Most of the things that were listed are results of events or mistakes I’ve made and since then, I have gotten over them and look upon them as lessons learned.  And some are current traits that I have learned to live with and find a way around it (especially with number 13).  I don’t have any regrets in life.  I believe that mistakes are there for a person to learn from, and having regrets just means a refusal to learn.  Of course, there may be more that’ll be added to the list as time goes on, but again, what’s important is you live your life the way you want to.  Live life.  Make mistakes.  Sh*t happens.  Never look back.  And most importantly, enjoy the ride.