rarely do i write about movies i have seen (on the big screen or dvd), but seeing that this would be a blockbuster summer movie season, i believe i'll be spending more time on the theaters this year than any of the previous years. truth be told that in the past, i have let big-budgeted, overly-hyped, sales-grossing movies pass me by, but hopefully that won't be the same this year. and what proper way to start a review than with a movie i have long since waited for a screen adaptation: silent hill.

for the average joe who is wondering, the movie silent hill is a movie based on the video game of the same title which first appeared on the sony playstation one. i never was a fan of suspense-horror games until this one appeared. i was intrigued about the reviews i read on the net and the cut-scenes i saw on tv so i got it and tried it out. the game is great, graphics and story-wise, and i got hooked. after learning that there were four (if not three) possible endings to the game, i immediately got hooked on finishing it with all the possible outcomes. in any case, basic plot of the game was father was driving along a countryside with his daughter on the front seat, had an accident, and upon coming to, saw that his daughter was gone and discovered the town of silent hill. what happens next is a series of weird, bizzare, supernatural and morbid events while he conducts a search for his daughter in the haunted town. much is unknown about the history of the place and the main character slowly discovers its deep-rooted secrets as he progresses along. he eventually finds his daughter, but depending on his actions during the game itself, how it ends is a mystery.

before the movie came out, i admitted that with the complexity of the game itself, it'll be hard to satisfy the fans who have lived and breathed on playing and finishing the game and it's three sequels. with that in mind, i also wondered if the movie will be a mixture of all the individual games' plots and sub-plots. much to my satisfaction as i saw the movie, it is mainly based on the original story of the first game. with a few minor changes, of course. the most striking of which is the change of the lead character from male to female. i guess by doing so, it gave the movie a more terrifying point of view. the other supporting characters are taken directly from the game, which would make the average fan of the game relate well to the movie. what intrigued me the most is how the movie will end, after seeing the different types of endings on the game, i asked myslef, "what ending would the producers choose?"

jumping into the movie itself without revealing too much of the story and how it progressed, the producers did an excellent job of bringing the game to the big screen. it presented the mystery behind the town and the kind of people who lived there. the background music was beautifully rendered and was composed by the person who did the music for the game. the "scare factor" is also excellent, for i noticed quite a number of shreiking female moviegoers on some of the film's scenes. i also believed that the characters who potrayed the game's stars did a remarkable job in transitioning them from the game to reel life. it is as if the game was thoroughly studied and played to bring out the kind of adaptation gamers are looking for in these types of game-to-movie genre. the environment acts as one of the characters here, as it also closely depicts the two-sided facets of this eerie and hauntingly mysterious town. yet in order to understand the movie fully for one who hasn't heard or played the game, the plot must be given it's whole and undivided attention. the reason for the town's existence and the mystery surrounding it may be too complicated for some, but if you're not a thinking movie fan, this ain't for you.

if you want to be entertained without the notion that "this is just another scary movie," then this movie is highly recommended. it's not your typical evil-incarnate, creatures-spawned-by-the-darkness-of-hell, all-poweful-beings-will-eventually-come-to-save-the-day type movies, but it gives a new perspective on horror movies. it further touches on human emotions, false beliefs and how humanity can play an integral role in changing not just the people of the town, but an entire town in itself. though me being a fan of the game before the movie came out may present a little sense of bias in favoring the film, i could very well say that this is one movie that is a must-see…gamer or not.

it has been a year and a day since that memorable easter sunday trip i had last year and i still find myself holding on to whatever feeling i had that day. like a pillow or a comfort blanket, i cling on to the thoughts, going back to a tranquil, peaceful moment in time with a soul long devoid of such serenity, with uncertainties as i march on forward, hoping to find my way back to that place with the hope of it being for keeps this time. yet as time ticks away, that sense of hope continues to fade, slowly being replaced by the harsh, yet solid reality that there is no hope at all, and whatever glimmer of hope i do have is but a figment of my imagination.

i actually had planned to go back to tagaytay yesterday just to kind of "commemorate" what happened last year. but fate had other plans (read: work) and i was forced to cancel that trip for the second time (the first was supposed to be on my birthday last year). yet somehow, maybe that means that there's still something left from that episode in my life. like an unfinished chapter with blank pages ahead, waiting to be written. in any case, i have learned not to expect too much from it. as i would like to put it, "don't jump too high in excitement, as you may risk landing awkwardly and getting yourself hurt in the end."

but the bottomline is, i do miss her. badly. so will somebody please step up and remove this feeling i have for her? if not, then would somebody please beat the living crap out of me till i'm dead?

it's just me, celebrating easter. hope everyone else's better than mine.

the nurse came into the room and checked his blood pressure. he was awakened by the procedure and realized that he had fallen asleep with the laptop still on. "talk about going back in time," he said, referring to the dream he had about the day he got the news, and that night he was supposed to tell her but was stopped short of her telling him of the breakup between her and her boyfriend. "how are you today? are the headaches still keeping you up at night?" the nurse asked him. "come to think of it, last night was the first time in a long time that i had slept well," he answered with a little slur in his voice, due to the effects of medication administered to him to help fight a losing battle to the inevitable. "at least it kept you comfy last night," the nurse replied with a sheepish smile, trying to lift his spirits during his remaining days on earth. "thank you," is all he could say, his mind still preoccupied with finishing the final entry on his blog. he had already told the world through his blog about what happened to him, and what was about to come. never did he expect the kind of comments he would be getting after posting the entry he entitled, "facing the reaper." after all, that day was the same as any other day. he just decided to tell what happened to him, a thing he kept doing so for the past four years. there was, however, one person who still doesn't know. he kept it from her all this time, she not even knowing that he has a blog. he had his reasons for not doing so, going as far as telling her a couple of months ago that he'll be going to the states to visit his dad when in reality, he reluctantly agreed to chemotherapy. he didn't stay long though, for his body rejected chemo and after spending time with his dad, quietly went back home and decided to wait it out through constant medication and frequent migraine attacks.

he was admitted to the hospital a couple of weeks ago, his condition deteriorating. he was given weeks to live now, and he spent that time talking to relatives and reaching out to old friends and old flames, most of whom were more shocked than surprised at finding out what happened to him, and some whom he couldn't get in touch with, and just left at the thought that "at least i tried." not a day goes by when someone would visit him and soon, stories would fill the room, reminiscing of happier times and towards the end, tears would start to flow. not from him, but from the people who came to see him. though sometimes he would also get carried away, he's already accepted his fate and embraced it proudly, telling his well-wishers that everything would be alright. yet there was one person left that he needed to talk to, and today was that day. though he still hadn't figured out what to say and how to say it, he never gave it some thought as he believed that everything will come out at the right time. as the nurse finished her daily check-up on him, his mother came into the room. she had gone home for the night at his request so that he could be alone with his thoughts as he typed his final blog entry. "did you sleep well last night?" she asked as she placed down a couple of plastic bags containing some food and other stuff he asked to be brought over. "yeah, thankfully," he replied with a sigh of relief. "you ready to face her?" she continued. "i better be," he replied with a mild laugh. "this is not quite what she would expect to see." he had asked for his mother's help in contacting her and asking her to come to the hospital. though she was quite surprised getting a call from his mom, she immediately agreed to be there the next day, still perplexed as to why he's back home and in a hospital.

it was mid-morning when she arrived. his mom went out front to meet her, telling her the entire story. tears then filled her eyes, realizing what had transpired. scenes from when they were "together" suddenly flashed in front of her as she was led to his room and all she could think of was "why? why didn't he tell me?" as she stood by the door, she stopped as she felt afraid to enter and see for herself, yet anxious to find some answers. as his mom slowly led her inside, she was greeted by bouquet after bouquet of flowers from previous well-wishers, friends and family which made the room look like a diverse flower garden; at his bedside was a table filled with letters and cards urging him to fight on; and there he was, lying on the bed, eyes closed and earphones in place, listening to music, a far cry from what he used to look like the last time she saw him. "i wish we could've met under better circumstances," he said, sensing her presence. he then opened his eyes and saw her again for the first time in almost a year. her simple beauty still captivated him amidst the tears that were now free falling on her face. she looked at him, her face filled with a thousand questions, fighting their way to be asked first. "i'm sorry for not telling you any sooner," he continued. "you weren't the only one. i did keep this a secret to almost everyone, well except my immediate family of course. i didn't want any special attention or friends treating me like i only had a few months left. it was my decision, so again, i apologize," he went on as he extended his hand to hold hers.

she then reached out and embraced him, and finally broke down. as his heart started racing, tears also slowly filled his eyes as he hugged her back. realizing what she had done to him in the past, she kept saying "i'm sorry" in between sobs. "you don't have anything to apologize for," he answered. "there were things you did that you thought were right and i didn't question them, well at least not vocally," he said. "what do you mean?" she asked. "for one thing, remember almost two years ago, when on my birthday, i gave you all those gifts? it included a letter which you told me afterward that you threw it away without even reading it because you didn't want to find out what was in it? i mean, all that i have felt about you, all that i wanted to tell you was there. i felt devastated when you told me that, yet i just bit my tongue and pretended that i didn't hear that." he paused as he wiped the tear from his eyes and continued, "yet for some reason, i understood, even if you didn't tell me, your reason for doing so. you were in a relationship and you wouldn't want anything to destroy that. at that time i also wished that i didn't make that letter, yet it was something that i also couldn't hold back from saying. but i'm seldom being selfish, so i really wish at that time that you had read that," and ended with a sheepish laugh.

"all this time," she finally uttered, "why haven't you said anything to me? why wait until now to tell about all this?" she asked as she looked around her. he let go of his grasp, put her face in front of him, gently wiped tears off her eyes and said, "i didn't want you to change what you have going for you. ever since the 'fight' we had via text over two years ago, i promised myself that i wouldn't be the one to initiate any form of communication to you, that i'd only reply if you texted me first. i got tired of your reasons. way before, we were inseparable. we'd meet in a heartbeat when i ask you out or you'd ask me out. but when you started 'avoiding' me after i told you how i felt, it seemed so unfair that just because of that, you changed everything. deep inside, you know i was always there for you when you needed comforting of someone you hold dear in your heart. i became your 'boyfriend' when he wasn't there. yet after everything i have done, all i got was your back turned, never to hear from you again, except when you felt like talking to me. that's why i did what i did. it was painful at first, but i managed to do it. i kept silent all this time because you wanted it like that. and because i love you, i endured everything. i gave you what you wanted and God knows that. yet despite that, i still held you in my heart. waiting, hoping that one day, you'll realize everything. yet when i was diagnosed and was told that i had little time to live, knowing how unfair things have been to me, i welcomed it and left everything to fate. and here you are, with me, on my final hours. at least i got to spend what time i have left with someone who i deeply love, even though she doesn't feel the same for me."

he then collapsed as instruments around him started beeping. she then ran out of the room and called for doctors. when she got back, his mother was in the room, silently crying, resigned to the fate of her son. doctors came in and revived him. as he was being stabilized, she went by his side. he opened his eyes, looked at her, and smiled. as she tried to tell him something, he raised his hand, pressed his fingers against her lips, not allowing her to say anything. he then removed the oxygen and struggled to talk. slowly he said, "you don't have to say anything. you did what you thought was right for you. all that matters is your happiness, even if it sacrificed mine." he smiled at her again and said, "i'll always have that easter sunday with you….here in me." the ominous sound of the flat line echoed throughout the room as his grip on her hand slowly loosened, breathing his last. she cried hysterically, realizing she wasn't able to tell him what she truly felt. despite her apologetic sobs, he never heard them, putting an end to what might have been something special for both of them.

today will be a special day. this is the day that my younger brother will be introducing his first girlfriend to the family by bringing her at home. i have always held a high regard for my younger brother. he's better looking, more intelligent, more street-smart and witty than me. add the fact that he was able to graduate from a prestigous school and he even got to go to the graduation march comapred to me when i just got my diploma and clearance at a counter in student services. and i admire him even more now by taking the first step in having a serious relationship. though we have had our share of conflicts and disagreements before, ultimately, nothing but love and respect is what i have for him. so let me make a little space here for my brother and say, "bro, good luck on your relationship and i wish you all the best."

other than that, things have been busy at work lately, and as far as the story on my previous entry goes, it'll be concluded soon.

it was a bright and sunny thursday afternoon when he stepped out of the building, wondering what to do next. his meeting had gone well, much as he expected. he thought of calling her to break the news, but he's still hesitant to do so. he has asked her out several times before, but was always turned down. he never knew what the real reasons were, or if there are any at all. but it wasn't always like that. after they had met, they were inseparable; him sacrificing his rest from work in order to be with her, and her bailing out on friends' birthday parties and gatherings just to be with him. but things went downhill after he had told her what he felt. after all, she still has a boyfriend of three or so years and she still loves him even though he was working out of the country and it is pretty much a long distance relationship. but since that fateful day, things have been different. and yet even if he felt like the whole world crashed on him, he put it all in stride, continued to love her in silence as they went in different directions. he became succesful in his career, and transferred to a better company a few months ago. on the other hand she finally got a job in the same field as he, but in a different company. although they still talked to each other, they were few and far in between.

deciding to take a chance, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his mobile phone. "at least i tried," he said to himself as he dialed her number. he thought of sending a text message first, but given the situation, he would rather hear it straight from her and not wait for a reply via sms. her phone rang. there was no answer. he dialed again and got the same result. disappointed, he put down the phone and walked to the car. just as he got in, another round of headaches started kicking in. these have become frequent during the last few weeks, that at one time he felt going blind. though on this episode, the attacks died down after only a couple of seconds. as he tried to recompose himself, the conversation from his appointment kept running through his head like a tape recorder playing again and again. though he couldn't believe what he was told, at the back of his mind several months ago, he had prepared for this scenario. he had also thought to himself back then that "it would be one storybook ending, and a hell of a way to go with the things i've been through; just as i pictured it to be."

his nervousness and anxiety kept building as he drove towards her place, but the chance of seeing her again made him more excited. as he parked the car in front of her house, he sent a message to her, saying that he's already there. "two minutes," came the swift reply. keeping the engine running, he stepped out of the car and leaned at the rear passenger door, like a groom ready to receive her bride. as she stepped out, his face brightened. she never looked more beautiful. in fact, that was what he told to himself the last time they were together. yet everytime he sees her, she grows more and more stunning. she greeted him with a kiss on the cheek and a hug. "hey there," she said as her arms went around him. surprised by the gesture, he hugged her back. as he looked at her face, he noticed that her eyes were a bit swelled up. "you ok?" he asked. "you look like you didn't sleep much." "yeah, had some things to do," she replied back. "but i'm ok. let's go, i'm kinda hungry already."

"what's wrong?" he asked, concerned about what she was feeling seeing that her face was serious and there were signs of tears filling her eyes. breaking the silence, she said, "we broke up today. he called me up at home and admitted that he's seeing someone for six months now and has fallen for her." a solitary tear ran down her cheek as he went over to where she was seated and hugged her. "all this time, i have been loyal to him, loved him, and now this?" she said in between sobs. "even though there were other guys coming up to me and trying to court me, i turn them away because i was in a relationship. why did he do this to me?" at that point, she was already breaking down. he just continued to hug her and whispered, "it's not your fault. you were good to him. you were every bit the kind of girlfriend a guy can ever ask for to him. you did what thought was right. i'm so sorry this happened." by then, he felt that this wasn't about him or what he's gonna tell her. it was now about this woman, who, even though she took advantage of his kindness, endured the drastic changes that happened after professing his feelings for her, made promises to him that were never realized, and even owed him money, but he still loves dearly. her sobbing started to die down and continued on telling him what happened. "that was the time you were trying to call me on my mobile phone. so now you know why i didn't answer it." realizing what happened, he quickly apologized for calling at a very bad time. "it's ok. i was even glad that when i saw my phone, there were two missed calls coming from you. 'twas kinda like a sign or somethin'. i guess it's fate's way of us telling us to be together tonight," she said. her hug was still firm. she then let go, looked at him with a smile amidst tears still falling from here eyes and said, "but that's over now. i have cried about it long enough after that. the thing is, i'll always have you. you were always there for me even though i treated you horribly, i took you for granted, but i realize now that it was you all along. i still have you, right?"

"yes, i'll always be here," he said as his thoughts then shifted to wondering if he's still going to tell her what happened to him earlier that day. she leaned on his shoulder after hearing his reply, and breathed a sigh of relief. suddenly, she then asked, "you said that you wanted to talk to me about something? what is it?"