it's been a while since i last went to see a movie.  if i remember correctly, it was die hard 4.0.  so instead of going to the gym yesterday, i decided to go see i now pronounce you chuck and larry.  it was kinda unexpected because i was supposed to go to the gym, but just before lunch, my mom asked me to accompany (drive) her to my sister's school to get some important school documents pertaining to her (my sister's) records.  i then thought, well, since we'll be in the makati area, might as well catch the movie, which she–my mom–approved of.  after taking care of the school stuff, we caught the initial screening at cinema 2 in greenbelt 3.

the movie is everything you'd expect from an adam sandler pic.  from his posse on his previous movies completing the cast (allen covert, blake clark, steve buscemi, kevin nealon, peter dante, jonathan loughran), to notable celebrities making cameo appearances–with the exception of rob schneider who almost always appears on adam sandler's movies with a very funny role without being included in the list of cast members–and until recently, having a different co-star to share the movie's top billing with (chris rock in the longest yard, jack nicholson in anger management, and now kevin james in this one).

production-wise, it was a good, all-around comedy about two totally straight guys pretending to be a gay couple which was hilarious.  kinda gave me pointers on what not to indulge in so as other people would think i'm gay… hehehe…  there are lots of scenes where it really got me laughing my ass off so the comedy itself is excellent.  pairing not-so-new comedian kevin james with an established comedian like adam sandler proved to be a gem as these two compliment each other's roles in the movie and makes them more funny than they already are.  the only thing i'm quite concerned about this movie is that, in a more open and liberated society like the US where gay rights are being fought tooth-and-nail in the legislative community, the movie will be well-accepted at the box office.  whereas here in the philippines, where everything is not exactly the opposite, but let's face it, it's still considered as conservative, it may only do a mediocre to average box office performance.

i would recommend this movie for everyone who wants to have a good laugh.  though there were also scenes where it made me squirm a little bit because of the amount of "gayness" in it (i have admitted way before that i'm not a big fan of gay people, though i know people who are and i just let them be because, hey, it's a free country), overall, the story is good and, as i've mentioned, it's everything you'd expect from an adam sandler movie (that is, if you have seen or are familiar with his other movies).  it's something you can see if you want to temporarily put aside or forget some of the things that's always bugging you (read:  work and some other stuff).  it did for me.

a quote from one of my superiors came across my way today.  it read:

everything you want is just outside your comfort zone

i was like, "hmmm…. is this a sign?"  if so, i need more to be convinced to do what i have to do.  i can't just rely on one solitary symbol, right?

or should i…

you feel very high and positive about something…

you tell select people close to you about what you feel because you can't keep the positive energy to yourself, asking them not to tell other people about it for it may ruin things for you…

because it's something you know for certain would change your life for the better…

but due to information you have gathered, now is not the right time to make it known to everyone…

so you plan for that moment, knowing by that time, it will be well-received…

people you have told support you all the way…

except for one… yourself.

you then start having doubts about the outcome of your plan…

scenarios form in your head both good and bad… yet the bad outnumber the good by leaps and bounds…

so your confidence in the plan starts to chip away… piece by little piece everyday…

yet the positive thinker in you still believes the plan is worth it…

but couldn't give a straight answer when you're asked of it…

so the battle rages on inside you…

ever had that feeling?  sucks, right?

with eyes still closed, he collected his thoughts as he slowly regained consciousness.  he was lying sideways on the bed, facing right, with the covers wrapped around his body.  "was it all a dream?"  he asked himself as he recalled the events of the day and night before.  everything was fast-paced and it all seemed like a blur up to that exact moment.  the laughter, cheers, surprises and the emotion were still echoing in his mind as he moved his head a bit, trying to find out if he still has full control of his body.  he moved his arm towards his chest, where the end of the covers were, placed it outside and felt the soft material that was wrapped around him.  he still refused to open his eyes, trying to enjoy the calm silence that bathed the room as he breathed a waking sigh.  at that moment, he felt something move in front of where he was facing.  he then finally decided to open his eyes to see what was in front of him.

as his eyes got accustomed to the morning light that was shining towards him from a thinly-curtained window, he was faced with the most simple, yet beautiful person he'd ever laid eyes on.  he never imagined her to be this way.  he knew for sure she was way different from when he first met her.  yet here she was, a beauty to behold soundly sleeping just inches from him.  her left shoulder baring her smooth skin was barely peeking through the covers as he continued to observe how peacefully she was resting.  her hair was slightly blocking some parts of her face so he placed his finger on her hairline, and slowly pushed back towards the back of her ear as a smile grew on his face.  he rested his palm near her ear, with his thumb slowly caressing her cheek.  she let out a smile of her own as she was awakened by what he was doing, her eyes still closed and tilting her head slightly to let his hand touch more of her face.

their glances meet at the instant she opened her eyes.  still there was silence, as both of them looked at each other on this beautiful morning.  she held his hand that was on her face but refused to let it part from her cheek.  he couldn't read what was on her mind, but he knew for certain through her smile, right there and then, she was happy.  on her part, she looked intently at his eyes and she knew, deep inside her heart, that he too was happy.  he slowly pulled her clasped hand toward his lips, closed his eyes and planted a sweet, long kiss.  with both faces smiling, they continued staring at each other in silence as their hands were still held together, in perhaps one of the most simple, yet deepest forms of love ever expressed between the two of them.

"hi," came her sleepy-voiced greeting, breaking the silence that has engulfed them in what seemed like an eternity.

"hey," he replied back as he broke his hand free from hers and combed it through her hair.

"been up long?"  she asked, nudging her head closer to him.

"not really," he said.  "just in time to see how you sleep beautifully next to me before you woke up," he continued.

she chuckled at what he said, and slowly breaking away from the little moment that they had, she asked, "what time is it?"

"half past nine," he answered.  "breakfast?"  he then asked.

she paused for a while, biting her lower lip as she gave it some thought.  "yeah, breakfast sounds nice," she then said with another smile.

"alright, breakfast it is," he said.  as they sat up while removing the covers, he suddenly stopped, laid back on the bed again and looked at her one more time.  she noticed this and asked, "what's wrong?  i thought we're gonna get some breakfast?"

"yeah, we are," came his reply, and continued, "i just want to tell you something."

"what is it?" she asked with an inquisitive, surprised smile.

he took a moment to stare at the simplistic beauty that was in front of him, reached out for her hand, smiled at her and said, "that you never looked more beautiful than the way you are right now."

tears slowly welled up in her eyes as she was taken aback by the honesty of what he said.  she moved towards him and gave him a long kiss.  she then finally realized that this was for real.  that this would be the start of the happily ever after she had always wanted and waited for so long, and that he was that person who she will be spending the rest of her life with.

"How do you pick up the threads of an old life?  How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand, there is no going back.  There are some things that time cannot mend; some hurts that go too deep, that have taken hold…" — Frodo Baggins, from the movie Lord of the Rings:  Return of the King

it's quite unusual for me to start an entry with a quotation or a line from a movie or some other form of mainstream media, much less the kind that is shown above.  i guess whether we like to admit it or not, we all ask the same question at some point in our lives.  mostly after tough decisions that have been made which directly affected people or persons in a way we didn't want or mean to, or decisions that changed our perception of life itself.  inasmuch as we try to learn from the mistakes we've made in the past, there'll always be new ones, big and small, that will come along the way.  very few have been lucky enough to say that their mistakes were stepping stones to a successful life.

i try to live my life using the no regrets policy.  well, i actually started that when i stepped into college since i consider my elementary and high school years as the forming phase where my own decisions have little to no basis or weight and i heavily relied on my parents regarding stuff that required their approval.  and in almost 15 years since i first stepped onto those hallowed college grounds, walking through them for four years, and finally stepping out of it and into the real world, i have made countless mistakes and a handful of  victories.  mistakes that almost cost my degree, that have broken friendships (where some have healed), that have lost trust (some of which never regained), that changed my beliefs, and some that may have a direct impact on my future in ways i'll never know.  yet even if i try and don't let those affect me (for i always believed that mistakes are a part of life and that crying over spilled milk won't get me anywhere), there are times that i stop and think about them and ask myself the perverbial question, "what if…?"  one such time was these past couple of weeks.  i have been more on the reflective side and strayed away from writing.  yet even though looking back more than just rekindled the pain i have experienced, to be honest, nothing came out of it.  i cannot change what has happened, and whatever i do, i also cannot make things any better.  is it a matter of perception?  maybe… maybe not.  yet they're already there.  it has become part of you, something that you cannot escape from, that you cannot ignore, that you'll carry for the rest of your days.

coming out of that reflective episode, did those mistakes make me a better person?  i couldn't say for sure because i still have lots of years ahead of me (hopefully).  what's for certain is that life, in all it's complexities and mysteries, still goes on.  and even though there are forks in the road, it is the only one-way street we'll all be going through.  it doesn't sound pretty at all, but that's the reality of it.  all we have to do is just to face whatever comes our way head on.  in other words, shoot first, ask questions later.  or something like that…

september is finally here.  three more months and it's christmas.  well, here in our part of the world the season has already started.  one thing i'm not looking forward to though, is getting to use my US visa.  yes, that fateful, dreaded trip to the other side of the world is now in the works.  it'll be made sometime in november–most likely during thanksgiving week–and it'll hit me in two things:  one is that i'll be spending my own money on the airfare and pocket money (which i don't have much of and i may have to resort to getting some kind of loan); and second is it'll take up five of my vacation leaves at the most (i have to stay there at least a week in order for my trip to be, well, worth it being a called trip at all) instead of having using those leave credits sparingly to extend some of the weekends.  my mom is going with me on this trip, only that she may be staying on to perhaps earn a little extra money.  she's excited talking about it, while i just stay quiet and keep my objections to myself.  let me reiterate that it's something i'm NOT looking forward to at all.  if only the need to make a solitary trip to be eligible for the visa to be successfully renewed weren't there, then it wouldn't be much of a fuss now, would it?

meanwhile, in october, i'll be celebrating two years being employed in the company i'm working for.  eight more months after that and i'll be surpassing the longest tenure i have with a single company.  another milestone in the books.  wish i could say the same for my personal life.  speaking of which, nothing still new on the horizon.  that still sucks.