i'm back home…. though i'm still too busy to blog all about what happened on my vacation, i just wanted to mention that i'm home safe and sound.  i'll be posting entries during the next couple of days highlighting my second visit to the US.

in general, the trip changed some of my perspectives.  i had realizations and eye-openings, and experiences both good and the not-so-good.  it was one memorable trip that i'd like to share, but for now, i'm still trying to catch up with work backlog.  i just arrived home this afternoon (well, technically, saturday afternoon) and went straight to my shift at 3AM today, so no rest for the weary, as the saying goes.

thanks to all who prayed for me having a safe journey.  please check back here again soon for more, and pictures will be posted on my friendster account as well.

i'm back… though a certain part of me wished that i stayed longer…

greetings from taipei international airport!  just landed around 45 minutes ago and in the middle of waiting for our connecting flight to san francisco.  boarding time is at 11:25pm so there's roughly three hours to spare.  while wandering around this really, really huge airport, i chanced upon this free internet station.  good thing no one was using it!  so, here i am, blogging for the first time on foreign soil!  not to mention using a laptop for the first time as well since the internet station has laptops instead of regular PCs.  i also recorded my first video journal using my mobile phone.  i don't know how i can post it here though, so maybe all video journals i'll be shooting will be posted when i get back home.

the flight to taipei was generally smooth, though there was some slight turbulence while we were eating the meals that were served.  the food was also ok.  rice with veggies and some chicken.  the one thing i don't like about flying though is what it does to the ears during takeoff and landing.  i had to yawn several times to get my hearing back.  the stewardesses were nice, although i noticed that they looked a bit… old.  maybe late 30s to early 40s made to look younger with plastered cosmetics on their faces.

anyways, that's about it for now.  after this entry, i'll either be browsing, checking my mail, or just chilling to the sounds of my ipod for the next couple of hours before we board.  thank god for free internet access terminals on airports.  wish we had the same back home.  until next login… i'm out.

i still can't believe that i'm hours away from taking that trip.  though i feel slightly sleepy (today was my last day at work), i feel that i might not get any sleep, or little at best.  there are still some things to be done tomorrow morning before i head to the airport.  grocery items that need to be bought since my brother and sister will be the ones left at home for a week before i get back, so we'll stock up before we leave.  i'll be bringing my ipod so i bought a travel outlet charger after work earlier at the glorietta area.  i was also thinking of getting a new battery for my mobile phone, but i just thought that bringing the charger is enough.  i finished up packing my stuff into my check-in luggage and in the midst of finalizing the things i'll be stowing on my handcarry luggage.

am i excited?  to be honest, i don't feel any excitement at all.  i was even lousily picking through what clothes to bring.  my mom told me to bring mostly warm clothing since it's very, very, very cold this time of year over there.  i even managed to watch some local news while packing, so that gives you an idea how concentrated i am in getting my stuff organized.  i even got to play a game on the PS2 after dinner earlier just like i would do on a normal day off.  some of my colleagues are actually wondering why am i not excited about making the trip.  well, to be honest, the cost is the number one thing that bothers me.  i pulled my time deposit savings (had to) and made a couple of loans to finance everything.  so when i get back, not only will i start from scratch in saving up for another time deposit, but also start paying off loans.  some vacation, huh?

oh well, there's nothing i could do to stop it now.  so, next destination, san francisco international airport by way of taipei.  i'm not sure if i have time to access my blog while i'm there, but when i do, i'll try to post some pics.  if not, i'll do it when i get back.  i'm bringing my mobile phone primarily for video shooting purposes.  although i'll also be having it on roaming, i'll appreciate it very much if any of you don't send me any messages while i'm out there.  so, that's it.  "i'll see you when i see you," as an old friend used to tell me.

markie signing off… temporarily.

that song by popular rock group queen couldn't have been more aptly titled.  in fact, i never recall feeling this way for as long as i can remember.  maybe the closest to it was preparing for my thesis defense back in college while i was working a part-time job.  it's days before i leave for my dreaded–yet ironically much needed (not on a visa usage standpoint, but on a personal standpoint)–trip to the other side of the world, and i haven't even moved a finger to fill my luggage or buy some much needed stuff to bring along (supplies mostly).  loans have already been made, time deposits withdrawn, all for the sake of, well, having money for the trip that i never wanted in the first place.  adding to that are deliverables at work that need to be done before i leave, and a very, very  personal thing that i have–no, need–to settle.  i can't talk about that here until it blows over, so please pardon me for the suspense (although some of my readers know about it first-hand).  but, you know me, i'll tell all as soon as it's over and done with so please be a little bit more patient.

earlier before i went to work today, i went to a going-away party of sorts for one of my office batchmates at her place.  i was hesitant at first to attend since i do have work, but she being a good and trusted friend, it was quite hard to say no.  i also treated it as a going-away party for me as well (kinda) since technically i'll be leaving (even if it's just for a week) on friday.  but hours before going to that party, i received one of the sadddest family news i could get this year.  one of my aunts on my father's side died yesterday afternoon.  tita anita was one of those relatives i'll never forget because of her smile.  she was always smiling, thoughtful, and very, very accomodating whenever we go home to our province in batangas.  during christmas family reunions, she would always have gifts for all of her nephews and nieces.  she was rushed to the hospital a couple of days ago due to a heart attack and we were all hoping that she would pull through.  upon hearing the news, i thought of not pushing through with going to the party, but since i gave my word that i'll be there, i did.  i just masked my emotions of loss and drowned it with three bottles of beer and the company of friends.  i didn't talk about it as i didn't want to ruin the lively mood of the party, so basically, i somehow still had fun and besides, it wasn't about me, it was for a colleague.  i left the party at around half past midnight so that i can still get an hour and a half's worth of sleep before starting my shift.  my mom, brother and sister will be coming over to the office during my lunch hour to get the car from me because they'll be going to batangas and pay their last respects to my aunt.  today is the only time available to go since both siblings have work tomorrow and my mom is still deep in preparations for our trip, and for me, well, i can't leave work behind even if i wanted to.

this past week has been gloomy, to say the least.  aside from my aunt's passing, another colleague's father was rushed to the hospital just last week due to an aneurysm and doctors gave him around 72 hours left to live, though i don't have any idea as of now regarding his condition, but we're all hoping and praying that he'll be okay.  i guess it's a reminder of how fragile life is.  that's why i'm trying to live life as if it's the last day i have left.  it's no secret that i'm ready to go anytime and that i try to make an impact as much as i can to my friends but what's more saddening is people who we think highly of are the ones who get taken first.

i guess it's time for me to stop writing because i'm already rambling.  a roller-coaster of emotions is what i'm currently on and it's not easy keeping a straight face.  between feelings of loss and love, happiness and sadness, i can't say how i am exactly right now.  but with days to go and with mounting things needed to be done both on a personal and professional level, being under pressure is an understatement.

to my tita anita, you will be badly missed.  may your soul rest in peace.

i was setting the alarm on my mobile phone and about to call it a day when i saw on my calendar that today is the anniversary when i started blogging.  now i can't just let the day pass by without having an anniversary entry, so i got up, turned on the PC, went online, and voila…  god, it's been three years since i virtually made my life available to everyone to see online!  i can't believe that it has been three long years… oh well, as they say, time files when you least expect it… err, or something to that effect…  but anyways, looking back at all those years and months of blogging, it's one of those things that i could very well say that i am so proud of.  i have made friends, enemies, and friends who became enemies who became friends again with my entries.  all i can say is that i'm just me being me.  i may have hurt people with my opinions, but i believe–and still believe to this day–that blogging is one of the avenues of the right to free speech.  we're all entitled–and have the god-given right–to say what we want to say however we say it.  i'm no pastor or preacher, so i'm not forcing anyone to believe what i say on my entries.  if you believe everything you read here, then i thank you.  if you don't, i'm not gonna move heaven, the earth, the sun, moon and the stars to make you do so.  looking back at some of the controversial entries i've posted, i'm saddened to see that other people who have commented either by direct posting, email, or even text (yes, i receive comments on my entries via sms) took those entries very personally and condemned me to the deepest parts of hell.  again, i'm no influential person so what i say here is my own personal opinion.  you say things that go against my opinions and beliefs on your blog and i won't even lift a finger to counter your statements or even stop becoming a fan of your blog.  why?  because that's YOUR opinion.  imagine our world where we all agree on whatever issue there is.  kinda boring, isn't it?

it's also sad to hear that in other asian countries, blogging is censored by the government and is even punishable by imprisonment.  now that, i really don't get.  if there's truth to what is being "blogged," then in no way it should be censored.  anti-government, anti-religion, anti-labor, anti-whatever.  ordinary people have the right to be heard and express whatever they want.  wait, i'm going political here, and i don't like it when i do so, so i'm just going to stop here.  anyways, for those of you who continue to read and support my blog, i could never thank you enough.  please do keep those comments coming.  i'd rather receive your comments directly here, so please do share your thoughts with everyone else as well.  and for those who…  to put it in simple terms, dislike my blog and all i have written down and will write down (but still continue to visit and read–c'mon, admit it, some of you do!), i still thank you for the world won't be complete without naysayers such as you.  both sides have played a tremendous role in my blogging life.  and of course, there are my real friends who continue to stand by me through thick and thin in whatever i say here on my blog (you're too many to mention, but i know who all of you are), may you continue to be blessed and rewarded by good karma.  having you as friends is more than enough good fortune for me (wish i could say the same for my lovelife… hahahaha!!!)  "you're all aces in my book," a line from a movie or television series would go.

three years… damn… oh well, happy blogging!!  😀

PS:  lisa, if you happen to be reading this, i'm sorry i wasn't able to reply to your sms message last night.  i was fast asleep when your message came in.  i only wish you could elaborate more on what you said.  anyways, hope we could talk soon.  🙂