Category Archives: Story

Of fastfood and radio

I think it was the great Bruce Lee who said somewhere along the lines that, “goals are not always meant to be reached; sometimes, goals are there so that there is something for you to aim at.” With that in mind, I think the same goes for our dreams. Whether you’ll admit it or not, we all have dreams about being this, or having that–whatever this and that may mean to be. Yes, I’m talking about dreams that are realistic in nature, or the ones that can be reached in one’s lifetime; not the fantasy-type ones that come true only in movies (yes, world peace being one of them). I’m guessing that out of the entire population on this Earth, only about 20 percent have reached or lived at least one of their dreams, whether it was from their childhood or dreams born out of inspiration; and about one to five percent that have two or more that came true. Consider me part of that lucky first group, who at an early age of 20, has lived the dream I had since I was around 9 years old. But more on that later. I wanted to focus more on a dream that came out of the love for music.

Music has played a very big part in my life. I remember the very first cassette album I had as a kid. It was called, “Puff, The Magic Dragon,” a collection of children’s songs (the album name ironically would become a slang for smoking pot, but that’s a different story altogether). I also had Lea Salonga’s very first album, a collection of songs from “Annie,” and in part because she was my childhood crush. And my Dad would always play either Abba, Glen Campbell, Don McLean or John Denver on our stereo during those days or in the car, and I would listen and enjoy it as well.

I got my first taste of listening to the radio when USA for Africa released “We Are The World” in 1985. It was the radio station 92.3 that had this MRS or Most Requested Song segment which played that song every hour, and I would make sure that I’m tuned in every time just to hear it. It was also around that time that I became conscious of the kind of music I listen to. Over time, I would become a regular listener for different radio stations, which, at that time, only played mostly foreign songs before the Pinoy band scene emerged in the 90s.

A childhood friend introduced me to radio station 97.1 LSFM right around 1992. There was this daily noon countdown (Top 20 at 12) he was listening to hosted by a DJ named Triggerman who he found amusing. I was immediately hooked and became an avid listener. I started to think then that playing the most popular and awesome music everyday was so cool. It was also around that year when the station introduced the Campus Aircheck program for college students who wanted to become radio DJs. But I would only learn of that a year later, during my freshman year in college. I was preparing for my mid-term exams when I heard the radio plug for it, calling for would-be aspirants. I got myself a bio-data all filled out, but became disappointed when the submission period turned out to be during my mid-term week. There was no way I could let that interfere with mid-terms (yes, I was still a good boy at that time). So I opted not to go through with it. But I would still be an avid listener of that station. I would also become a regular caller, not of that particular countdown program, but the station’s other programs where the resident DJs would already recognize my voice whenever I’d get through their busy phone lines. They would sometimes let me go on air to do some greetings or introduce the next song. It was that way throughout the first two years of college until I slowly started to drift away from radio to focus my attention on more serious matters.

My first dream came true in 1996 when I started working for McDonald’s while I was still in college. I always thought when I was a kid when our family used to go to McDonald’s, how it would be fun to prepare my favorite burgers, fries, and spaghetti. I would always peek behind the counter to try to see how it all came about. Now that I was working for them during the mornings and attending class during the afternoons, my free time was few and far in between. I hardly listened to the radio during those years. My music preference was experiencing a roller coaster ride of some sorts at that time. After being a metal-head during the early 90s where I even grew my hair long and had it straightened regularly, I started to appreciate ballads and mellow love songs, as well as new wave music. Heavy metal then turned to alternative rock which I still listen to on a regular basis up to this day. I went back to listening to the radio in 1999. 97.1 had already switched to a different format that is not to my liking, so I looked for another one, and eventually found RX93.1. With the rise of the internet during that time, I eventually found the station’s website and signed up for their online mailing list. It proved to be one of the more life-changing things I’ve done as I met a lot of new people who became my friends until today. I also became friends and acquaintances with some of their DJs and would get tickets to the station’s events and parties; all because I am a member of their mailing list. Unfortunately, their Radio1 program (their version of Campus Aircheck) was not suitable for me anymore since I already got my college degree. Yet, I would continue to call the station, go on air to join promos, greet, or request for a song. And that for me, was a taste of somehow being a DJ already. The station would eventually have an audition or two for those outside of college wanting to be their next DJ. I would attend those auditions, but unfortunately, I won’t make the cut. Despite being disappointed, I continued to be a fan of that station, and other radio stations that had good music programming. And that dream of playing the best songs slowly faded into oblivion. In consolation, I just told myself that at least I had one of my dreams come true in my lifetime; and that one out of two ain’t bad.

Until recently. Just last month, I woke up one morning having a dream that involved me wearing a headset and talking on a microphone with a switchboard of some sort in front of me. Turns out, I was hosting some sort of radio show with a female co-DJ. We were both talking with someone on the phone, though I cannot remember what the topic was. I remember that after recalling that dream after waking up, how real it felt. I even posted it on Twitter, but shortly after, reality checked in. I thought that it was nice going through that, despite it being in the dream world. But at my age, I thought that all the best music I’ll be playing will be in the confines of my own house. Then about two weeks ago, one of the stations I listen to, Jam 88.3, started airing a plug saying that they are looking for their next radio superstar. Imagine lights and bells going off inside my head as I heard that plug for the very first time. In addition, the station plays all alternative music, which is up my alley. Within a week, I recorded my voice demo. It took me around 30 takes to get the feel I wanted to convey on that demo. I thought to myself that this would be my final shot at that elusive dream, so it’s all or nothing. I submitted my voice demo this past Monday. I was talking to Mike, who graciously accepted my demo which was in .mp3 format, and I was told that it would take a couple more weeks for them to choose which will make the initial cut. It was also sort of an informal interview as he asked me about my background and music interests. As I left the station, I felt a sense of relief that I really decided to go through with it, even after having some initial dissenting thoughts about it.

What happens in a couple of weeks is anyone’s guess. I know and believe–together with the encouragement and support of friends–that I have what it takes (the voice, eloquence, wit, desire, and love for music) to live that elusive dream. If I do make it all the way, then I’m really considering myself very, very lucky. If I don’t or don’t receive any call from them, I won’t whine about it–I mean, not really. But it’ll be no regrets like how i’ve always lived. What’s important is that I took advantage of the opportunity given and made the most of it. Music will continue to be a big part of me now, tomorrow, until I go six feet under. Yet the dream will always be there. If that dream I had last month was any indication of it coming true, then maybe it’s a sign of things to come. If not, well, at least aiming and going for it was worth it. And like I said, one of two ain’t bad. But it would’ve been real cool though. Real effin’ cool.

up and back down again

“thank you for waiting, enjoy your coffee,” said the lady behind the counter as she presented him with his order. “thank you,” he replied back, took the tray and headed to the mezzanine. he had driven almost two hours uphill from the city to the coffee shop overlooking the most fantastic view he had ever seen. a gust of cool breeze welcomed him as he exited the staircase while scanning the area for a place to sit. the mezzanine was half-empty so he went to the far end to settle down so he can take a better look at the scenery. “nothing like inhaling fresh air,” he said to himself as he inhaled some of the cool air surrounding him while surveying nature’s glory before calmly sitting down. he then took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and started to look inside to see how many he has left. “this seems just about right,” he uttered as he took one and lit it up. after making his first puff, he leaned back on the chair and held the cup of coffee in the other hand, as his thoughts began to wander.

“looks like you need some company,” a female voice suddenly blurted, piercing the calm serenity he was in.

“no, not really, but i guess it wouldn’t hurt,” he replied as he motioned the lady to the chair opposite him.

“thanks,” she said back as she took her seat. “great view, isn’t it?” she added. “i always try to come up here when things get too rough back in the metro. it’s kinda like a retreat for me.” he still was looking at the view as her comments went by.

“i take it you often come up here?” he then asked, breaking the uneasy silence she didn’t quite expect.

“at least i try to, with all the things going on in my life right now. i barely have time for myself,” she said as she paused to sip on her ordered beverage. “how about you?” she asked.

he let out a soft, short chuckle as she ended her question. “i haven’t been here for quite some time,” he then answered. “at least i hoped i would be coming back after the last time i was here, but…” he trailed off, not wanting to reveal so much to the stranger in front of him.

she slowly nodded, realizing what he was talking about. she then reached for her purse and went through her things as if she was looking for something. “lost something here, too?” he jokingly asked, noticing her fidgeting among her things inside her purse.

“no, i think i may have run out of cigarettes,” she answered back, frustrated as she kept looking inside.

“here, it’s my last one,” he said as he handed the pack with the last stick inside. “you can have it.”

“are you sure?” she reluctantly asked. “yeah, go ahead,” he insisted.

“thanks,” she said, taking the pack. “don’t worry, i won’t ask for a light,” she added as she took out her lighter.

another period of silence came. breaking the uneasy ambience again, she asked, “why are you here then?”

he did not answer immediately. it was either he wasn’t sure of what to say, or if he would even answer the question at all. he surely wasn’t about to reveal some things about himself to this woman, yet at the back of his mind, maybe this was something that he wanted. or, that he needed. after all, he was almost certain that nothing else would happen that would’ve made things a lot easier for him–or a lot simpler that it would have made complete sense. then, at that exact time, he wondered what was the real reason he came back to that place, though he told himself that the next time he would come back, it would be with that person whom he shared almost everything with, except that person took them and ran away with it, leaving him in the dust yet again.

“i came back here because of a promise, a promise made to me,” he said as he tried to look her in the eye. he finished off his cigarette and added, “yet even though that promise wasn’t fulfilled, i’d rather come back here, pretend that everything is the way they should have been, and then go back, leaving what was supposed to have been back here, with everything else i have inside for her.”

she was taken aback with what he said. never before has she met someone with potentially everything she would want in a man. yet, at the back of her mind, she knew, that something special happening with this man is not right now. he was still hurting, that she understood. but part of her wanted so much to get to know this man who offered her a seat, a cigarette, and a small insight into his life.

“i see,” she finally replied back as she bowed her head down, realizing that the conversation would go no further. “what then?” she asked, hoping that a slightest hint would come her way.

realizing what he had to do, and finally coming to terms with the inevitable, he finished his cup of coffee, calmly stood up, looked at her and told her before heading towards the exit, “now, it’s a two-hour drive back home.”