She had barely rubbed off the cobwebs of drowsiness upon reaching the kitchen and opened the fridge door to see what she can make for breakfast.  It was still early, but for some reason, she woke up half an hour before her alarm sounded.  It felt like someone had been watching her sleep.  As she was going through some of the items inside, a faint sound of what seemed like screeching tires reached her ears.  Though that wasn’t new to her, it coming this early in the day roused her curiosity and decided to go and see what it was.  She first peered through the window by the living room, hoping to get a glimpse from that angle.  Not being able to see a thing, she then went to the front door.

A slight early morning chill greeted her as she slowly swayed the door open.  She tried to look around while still inside the house before stepping out for a much fuller view.  Clutching her arms as she stepped out, the chill became a small breeze while making her way to their picketed fence just before the sidewalk.  Her place was situated on a semi-public area, and cars passing by are not uncommon.  As she reached the front gate, she peered over it, checking her parked car out front.  She thought that maybe another car had grazed hers–or even bumped it–thus leading to the screeching sound, probably stopping to check what happened.  There was nothing out of the ordinary with her car, except that she noticed something tucked on the windshield wiper that flapped even with the slight breeze blowing.

As she stepped out of the gate to retrieve what seemed to be a small envelope placed on her car, she heard random chatter coming from down the street.  Upon clutching the envelope, she turned to where the sound of people gathering around was coming from.  She saw a small group of people about 10 to 12 meters away in the middle of the street where a car had stopped sideways.  “Another accident,” she thought to herself.  These weren’t uncommon as well as she learned of a couple of her neighbors figuring in such, mostly in the dead of night as cars tend to speed up while there are still people in the streets for some reason.  She managed to look at the envelope, and saw that her name was on it.

She became a bit curious as to why someone would leave something like that for her.  As she turned to head back inside, one of her neighbors who came from the commotion walked by.  She then asked, “what happened?  Who was it?”  The neighbor stopped, looked back at where he came from for a few seconds, shook his head, then faced her saying, “someone got hit by that car.  He’s not from around here though,” before continuing on his way.  Hearing that raised her curiosity even more, as there were not much other people coming and going within their area.  She almost forgot all about the envelope in her hand as the urge to see the aftermath up close slowly grew inside her while she tried to make sense of what’s going on.  Somehow, there was this voice inside her head telling her to go down the street and see for herself.

She decided to just get it over with and stepped out to head towards the now increasing number of people at the scene.  She could now hear sirens from a distance which are getting louder with each step she took.  As she walked closer to where people are circling around what seemed to be a male person slumped on the ground, she was able to get a glimpse of his feet and legs first.  From her perspective, the man was quite tall; but what made her suddenly feel anxious was that the clothing this man had was quite familiar.  From the shoes, pants, and jacket, she definitely knew that she had seen those before.

She started to tremble as she steadily grew even closer, not wanting who she was slowly starting to have in mind match the seemingly lifeless body laying on the street.  As more onlookers filled the area, her full view of the body was now being blocked.  Anxiety then turned to desperation as she decided to make her way past the ever-growing crowd, her heart beating faster and faster as she tried to push other people to the side; with tears now beginning to fall from her eyes.  When she finally reached to where she can clearly see the body right in front of her, she suddenly fell to her knees upon seeing the man’s face.

It was him.

Author’s note:  My apologies for not finishing this any sooner.  I was waiting to feel or have the right mix of emotions in order for me to be on that “zone” since this story is written based on that:  pure emotion.  I didn’t want to have a half-baked conclusion to this story just to see an ending take place.  I hope everyone who gets to read this would be able to say that it was worth the wait.  Thanks.  – markie

He was staring at her eyes, the most beautiful pair he’d seen.  He then tilted his head back to the pillow, looked up, closed his own eyes and smiled.

“So this is how it feels like,” he finally managed to say to break the pensive silence as she was waiting for him to speak.

“What?”  She asked him.

“To hold your hand; to finally touch you and feel what I wanted and needed for the longest time,” he answered quite weakly, yet savoring every passing second his fingers are clasped with hers.  “You have no idea how badly, but quietly I wished I could experience this.”  He then looked back at her with those weak, sickly eyes.  “You were never touchy with me.  Not ever, since the day we met.  Yes, we would exchange high fives every now and then, but you were always, always the first one to pull back.  And if even if it wasn’t intentional, during the times when I somehow was physically close to you, you would call that out and push me away.  You never really let me touch you, not even as a friend during those times you cried telling me about the things going on between your family…  or with him.”

She saw that those weak eyes of his started to display a quite serious appearance, yet he continued to have that familiar, calm tone.

“You want the truth?  Yes, I fell–and I still am–in love with you.  I don’t know why or how, but I didn’t say anything all this time until now because I met and came to know you as someone who is in a relationship.  And I respected that relationship; I do still until now, believe it or not.  I’m not the kind of guy who takes advantage of damsels in distress and try to sweep you off from him.  I mean, I wanted to; but I didn’t.  So I just kept quiet and instead, tried to show you how someone like you should be treated.  I sided with you when you told me about your fights with him not only because of my feelings for you, but as a man, tell you how I would treat my girlfriend if I were in the exact same situation.”

He paused for a while, trying to recover from dealing with the rising emotions inside of him in spite of his weakening physical state.  She managed to stay silent, trying to let his words sink into her as he continued to talk.

“If only you knew how I felt wanting to be with you everyday; even if I know there isn’t a slightest chance you would consider me as someone who’s more than a friend.  Though I’d sometimes hope–and pray–that someday you’ll realize that the things I do for you are because I really do love you.  Going to work wasn’t a drag for me anymore, knowing that I’d see you there, and we’ll be talking about work and other stuff.  You became my reason for getting up every morning, and wanting my sleep at night to hurriedly end so I can look forward to another day with you.  Loving you from afar has made me very happy in a way; yet it sometimes makes me wonder how better it would be if you felt the same way for me.  It made me do stuff I never imagined I would do for someone, which made other people see it as an obvious sign of having those kinds of feelings for you; yet for some reason, you either dismiss them as very friendly gestures, or don’t see it at all.”

“Aside from those, I really loved making you happy.  Seeing you smile is something I really cannot get enough of.  You often tell me that you are not fond of your smile in your pictures; but I’m telling you now, I always melt inside when you smile–or even laugh–especially at me.  God, if I can only put into proper words the things going inside me when you tell me that you’re happy with what I’ve done for you, but I can’t.  It really is that inexplicable.  That is why I go through great lengths to make sure that you are always happy whenever you’re with me.  No cost is too big, no deed is too great, just for you to feel not an ounce of sadness.”

The sound of an opening door cut short his revelations as his mother, together with the doctor, came inside the room.  This was the doctor’s routine check, yet an unwelcome interruption nonetheless.  Instruments and levels were read closely.  The doctor intently then looked at him and asked, “how are you feeling?  Are the meds keeping down the pain?”

“I was actually on a roll until you barged in,” he jokingly replied in between sobs as he tried to burst the emotional bubble that he was in.  “Yes, they are doing a good job, doc.  Thanks.”  The doctor looked at the tubes that were connected to him.  “I’m just trying to make you as comfortable as possible,” the doctor said.  “I know,” he replied back.  “And I appreciate it and everything that you’ve done for me, doc.  But it’s now just a matter of time.”

She became surprised at what she heard.  “What?  Matter of time?  Which is?”

The doctor looked at her, gave her a wry smile but did not answer.  He then went to the mother at the end of the room and whispered something to her before heading to the door.  He held the door open for her as she looked at her son, trying to be strong in the final moments.  “I’ll be okay, ma,” he assured her.  “It’ll be nice and peaceful.”  She then went to the door, hesitated for a bit, then stepped out as the doctor followed her and closed the door behind him.

She was confused at what was going on.  All that she knew was that he was only sick, not near death.  “You are right where you should and I want you to be,” he said as she was still trying to make sense of the last few minutes.  “There are still some things I want to tell you, so please let me tell them to you before I am unable to do so.”

He then continued to tell her everything about his feelings for her, and the pains he felt as well.  How she had become a positive and guiding light to him in his time of confusion and acceptance of his mortality.  How there were many instances that he came close to telling her what he really felt, and the times when he wanted to give up.  He even reminisced all the stuff they had done together.  Tears were shed and laughter was heard.  All the while, their hands were held together.  It was an emotional, yet serene moment where he got more than what he expected.  She is there with him.  That was the only thing that mattered.  Though she tried several times to respond to his confession of sincere, true and unrequited love for her, he didn’t allow her to.  Until finally, silence took over as he breathed his last.  It was indeed nice and peaceful.  She then finally broke down as she realized what was lost as her cries filled the room.  The love that made and kept him alive, was also the one who accompanied him until the very end.

“Where the hell are you?!  Do you know where we’re supposed to be right now?  Or what people are gonna say to me when we arrive late?!” he screamed in frustration.

“I know, I know,” was all she could begin with.  “Something came up and I’m at the hospital right now.  Please try to understand.”

“I couldn’t reach you for two days and now you’re in a hospital?  Why, what happened?” he replied back.

She tried her best to calmly explain what had happened over the last few days.  She knew it wouldn’t sit well with him, but there was no other way to tell it; not unlike the other times when she was able to make an excuse.  Her boyfriend was the jealous type, and having male friends is something he would have a final say on.  She was always able to think of ways not to arise his jealous temperament just to be able to be with…  him.  Yet there were times that her boyfriend was able to see the two of them together; and an argument would ensue afterwards.  Though she thought of leaving him, seemingly growing tired after having had numerous fights and arguments, but she never really did.

“Look babe, I’m sad to hear what happened to him.  But he’s just a colleague, right?  So you absolutely don’t have to be there.  So go home, get changed and I’ll come pick you up.” he quickly replied after hearing everything from her.

“He’s…  more than a colleague.  He has become… a friend to me,” she answered back.

“What?  A ‘friend?’  Since when did the two of you become ‘friends?’  You haven’t even mentioned that to me.  You always mention things like this to me.  I mean, what kind of ‘friend’ is he?  Does he do stuff for you?  Do you do stuff together?  How special is he to you?  Is that why you’re there instead of being with me right now?  What have you done for him?  Have you done anything special for him without me knowing?”  The questions kept firing from him as if he was right beside her.

“Listen, I don’t have time for this.  I’ll talk to you when you’re not pissed off, and when everything else has blown over, okay?  I’m hanging up,” she mentioned with finality.

“But babe—” was the last thing she heard as she hung up and turned off her phone for good measure.  She turned towards the ICU when it suddenly hit her.  His questions played right back in her mind as she stopped dead in her tracks.  She never imagined that he would be the way he is towards her.  During the times when they were together, it was him that always did something for her.  Though she would occasionally thank him, he kept making sure that her needs and some cravings were attended to.  He would always pay for their lunch, dinner or drinks after work; or when she saw something she thought looked nice on her, he would readily buy it for her.  He would accompany or bring her home whenever possible.  He patiently listened while she told about fight after fight she and her boyfriend had, or when their boss would bite her head off.  He was always there for her.  Though she had her suspicions that he might have feelings for her, she brushed it off, knowing that she’s in a relationship.  But despite all that, she unknowingly grew fond of him, and felt comfortable being with him.  And yet, she realized as tears started flowing from her eyes, that she never really did something that came close to resembling anything that he had done for her.

She started to run back to where he is.  As she entered the room, his mother was talking to him as he was somehow half-awake.  His mother was also in tears as she looked to see her as she stood just past the door.  “I’ll leave you two alone for now,” said the elder woman.  He moved his head in her direction and was able to manage a faint smile.  His mother made her way toward the door.  She then stopped to hug her before she left the room.  An awkward silence followed as the door closed.  She slowly made her way to him, wiping tears from her eyes.

“Hey,” she said, breaking the silence.

“Hi…  are you really here?”  he stuttered as he replied while looking intently at her eyes.

“Yes, I’m here,” she said, her voice starting to break as she reached his bedside and held his hand.  “Look, there are things—“

“No, wait,” he gently interrupted her.  “I have a lot to say to you, and I better say them now.  I never seriously asked anything from you, so please give me this,” he pleaded as he mustered some strength to press her hand, urging her to do this favor for him.  She tearfully nodded in silence and prepared to listen to him.

(to be concluded…  for real this time)