Category Archives: Rants

two zero one two

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The holidays have always served as a thanksgiving of sorts for me.  More so, a time to reflect on what has happened to me during the past 12 months, especially as the last day of the year approaches.  This year is no different.  Although I must say with all honesty, this has been the most challenging year for me…  so far.  From being screwed over by a colleague I thought I trusted, to taking a chance at chasing a lifelong dream, to making the worst professional decision I’ve ever made, and–surprise, surprise–to still being single.

Yet unlike previous year-ender entries I have made, I’m not going to spend much time recanting stories and experiences simply because they have already been told here…  well, at least most of ’em.  Those untold ones may find their place on this blog someday, somehow.  It could be in a form of a story, or a blunt recollection of actual events.  Still, it doesn’t mean that those events are far less significant than the others.  As they say, there is a time and a place to tell everything.

I may be a bit biased when I said that this year was the most challenging for me due to events that happened during the latter part of the year.  True, but prior to those events, it was already challenging as it is.  The degree of difficulty just went up several notches.  But, being the glass half-full kind of guy that I am, I try to see what good–no matter how small–it brings me.  And much to my surprise, I discovered something in myself I never thought I’d see.  Or maybe it’s a rediscovery of something I had; that being lost along the way either because I took things for granted, or simply just got lost in the scheme of things as time went by.

At the beginning of this year, it was said that 2012 is a lucky year for those born in the year of the Dragon.  With everything that has happened to me, it was the exact opposite.  Still, things could’ve been much worse, so I’m still thankful for all the good things that came my way.  And despite what I’m going through right now, I could say that I’m still lucky in some ways.  Maybe I was destined to be where I’m at; or maybe I needed to go through what most others would not have done in a heartbeat; maybe this is all just a precursor to bigger and better things, but I don’t want to get my hopes too high just yet.  Remembering my mantra, “lowered expectations;” it’s better to be surprised in a very good way, rather than expect good things to happen, only to come crashing down hard in defeat.

As 2013 enters, I may have to make some changes to and for myself.  These are stemming from what I have learned from the previous year.  I got my hands full as it is, but these changes are well needed.  So hopefully–and with a little luck–things will go more of my way this time.  I hope that whatever changes you may need to make for yourself also bring you better things.  Let’s all welcome the new year with hope and positivity of greater things for all of us.  I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas celebration, and I’m wishing everyone a prosperous new year!

By the way, for those keeping score, I still have not yet forgiven myself.

bruised and bloodied

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It’s been a while.

While I hope to be writing again on more uplifting circumstances–especially after a long absence–I’m afraid it’s somehow the opposite.  I guess it’s because for the first time in my life, I might have done something I wish I could take back.

Don’t get me wrong, I have always lived my life without any regrets.  And that I have always believed that having regrets is like slapping the face of a teacher trying to teach you a lesson.

I suppose the old adage holds true:  “there is always a first time for everything.”  Or maybe, all of us are meant to experience this kind of situation in one way or another.  Yet I have always, always had my better judgement prevail in the midst of being faced with such difficult choices.  After all, I have gone halfway through my life experiencing almost everything a professional would encounter.  Add to that, I sought the advice and wisdom of friends and colleagues-turned-friends alike.  All of them telling me to go with the decision I made.  But let me be very clear that for the record, I am NOT in any way putting blame on them.  It was MY decision to make.  MY own.  I blame MYSELF for this.  It’s like what I tell my friends when they ask me for advice:  “I can always tell you what you want to hear, or what you need to hear.  But in the end, it’s going to be you and you alone who makes that decision.”

I honestly feel that I betrayed myself; went against my (un)written rule:  “never settle for anything less than what you truly believe you deserve to receive for yourself.”  Years of blood, sweat, and tears of getting to where I am somehow just thrown away like trash.  If there is an opposite to the term “sellout,” then that befits me rightly.

It may be that easy to say, “then just turn around, you asshole!  Why wallow in your predicament?”  If only it were that easy and complication-free.  I did what I think I had to do.  I surely do not know the reason why I did it, and right now, I’m still searching the very recesses of what’s left of my soul for answers.  I may find it, or I may not.  But now that I’m here, and what’s done is done, I just move forward.  I may not like–borderline, hate–what I did, but I am a professional.  I do what’s asked of me; use my expertise, knowledge and wisdom I have acquired over the years and be better.  I’ll deal with it, like what I have always done in life.

All of that was two weeks ago.  Since then, I’ve been picking up the pieces of my pride, ego, and better judgement that received a major ass-whooping from, who else, myself.  I guess being a Gemini has it’s benefits.  My other side is carrying me through each and every day.  Only time will really tell if I’ll ever forgive myself.

Yet, maybe there’s a deeper reason why I am where I am.  Fate?  Chance?  Part of the life program?  A higher power at work?  Who knows?  All I do know right now is that I made my own shitload of a mess, and I’m the only one who can and will clean it up.

age plus one

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I’m not really a big birthday fan.  At least, when it comes to my own.  It only reminds me of a phrase I heard a long time ago which goes, “when we were young, we wished we were old; and now that we’re old, we’re wishing we are young again.”  Or something like that.  I guess part of my attitudinal paradox is that I am very happy when a friend or family member has a birthday, but I don’t look forward to my own.

But when those greetings start coming in from family and friends alike, it makes me feel a lot better.  Probably because they truly remember, or in these days, see one friend write a greeting on my Facebook wall and follow suit.  Nonetheless, however it’s conveyed, it truly warms my heart.  I actually am still getting greetings via Facebook as I write this.

I guess part of why I don’t look forward to my own birthday is that I cannot do whatever I want despite having all the right to do so (and I do mean whatever I want).  Or maybe because I haven’t received a real birthday gift in almost a decade or more (yes, gift-wrapped with all the trimmings).  Or maybe have that one kick-ass, all-out, swingin’ birthday party; or being thrown a surprise party of that nature for that matter.  Not that I don’t enjoy the simple parties I’ve had at home throughout the years, but one could wish for something different once in a while, right?

But who am I kidding?  Those kind of parties won’t be happening to me.  Not unless I either have super rich friends who could throw that surprise bash, or I win the lottery.  Still, it ain’t a crime to dream, right?  Those two are up there on wishful thinking lane together with me wanting to be a radio DJ.

But nonetheless, a birthday’s a birthday.  And I go back to family and friends who are true to me and sincerely remember when to greet me.  I’m a lessened-expectations kind of guy, so to receive those greetings is truly enough for me to get through that day with a smile on my face and a thankful feeling in my heart.  So to all of you (you know who you are), I say a heartfelt thank you for your birthday greetings.  You have no idea how I appreciate it so much.  May good karma come your way and be blessed a thousand-fold.  You are included in my prayer of thanks as I end the day.  Thank you.  Thank you.

Oh, did I hear asking for my age?  It’s for me to know and you to find out.  Hahaha!

Rant of a casual fan

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Last time I checked, we’re living in the 21st century.

Last time I checked, we’re living in a society that respects freedom of speech, religion, press, and choice.

And last time I checked, we’re living in a world where RESPECT is given to everyone who has different beliefs; ergo, live and let live.

Then why are there still groups of people who think, believe, and act that they are the ones who know better and force feed you into accepting that they are right and you are wrong?  Was time travel already invented that I didn’t know about and had people from ancient times transported into the present?

Yes, I’m talking about all the unwarranted attention about the two-night concert of one Lady Gaga starting tomorrow.  Apparently, some religious nut-jobs are trying to stop the so-called “devil incarnate” from performing for all her die-hard and casual fans; all because of one song that has lyrics they deemed “blasphemous” and “satanic.”

All because of one song?  Are you serious?  How may hits has this artist produced?  How many albums did she sell?  And you’re up in arms over ONE song?

I must admit I’m not one of her die-hard fans.  I wouldn’t even call myself her casual fan.  Heck, I only have some of her songs on my iPod (around five, I think).  And I don’t even listen to those songs on a regular basis.  But I respect what this artist has done.  She has that charisma and talent that captured audiences worldwide.  Some are even labeling her as the new Madonna.  And yet for all her accomplishments, these blinder-covered, attention-hungry religious groups choose to label her as evil, adding that she is a “very bad influence” to whoever listens to her songs.

I am also a Catholic.  B0rn and raised.  And being one, let me quote one of the more memorable lines in the Bible for me, which was said by Jesus himself:  “whichever one of you has committed no sin may throw the first stone.” (John 8:7).  These people condemning Lady Gaga are so quick to judge that they forget to look within themselves.  Yes, I have also seen the lyrics of the controversial song, and yes, I agree that it puts a negative reference on Jesus as well.  But here’s the thing:  that’s just one person.  Do you really believe that her fans will put to heart what those lyrics say?  If so, then there’s something really wrong with you.  You call yourselves religious, yet you do not have faith in other people in making the right decisions for themselves.  That also means you do not trust the institutions that teach what is right and wrong.  It is in these absurd moments that sometimes, I feel ashamed to be somehow religiously associated with those people.  Listening to one song does not make one instantly evil as much as listening to a different song does not make one instantly a saint.

The calls for canceling her concert are outright stupid.  Remember, it’s just entertainment.  Pure and simple.  It’s no different from what we watch on TV or in the movies.  Why don’t they get as much attention as Lady Gaga is getting?  What these groups are doing is suppression of freedom of speech.  Yes, we understand your concerns and reasoning behind it.  But accord the concert producers, paying patrons and fans the same respect.  If you still believe that listening to her and being a fan of hers will lead one straight to hell, then so be it.  It is their choice, not yours.  I’m not being indifferent, it’s called respect for the choices one makes.

Yet sadly, respect is always preached, never practiced…  at least by them religious fanatics.  That’s why they belong in ancient times in the first place.

jollibugged

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unless i was born yesterday, i do believe that the concept of a fastfood restaurant is self-explanatory: to have food readily available at the customer’s whim due to reasons of time constraint and sheer hunger, and not having to wait for ages for food to be served (take note though, five minutes would count as “ages”). absolutely no excuses. at least when chowking changed their marketing strategy to “your food is prepeard-slash-cooked the minute you order it,” they made it known that you won’t be getting the food right there and then. i should know better, having worked for mcdonald’s for two and a half years, the concept of customer satisfaction first comes to mind.

allow me to vent out a frustration i had yesterday when i ordered food through a jollibee branch near our place. yes, the same branch where mcdonald’s first stood until it transferred to the nearby mall and thus became it’s arch rival; and yes, it was where i worked. moving on, i was on my way home from work and passing by the same route i traverse everyday, i originally thought of eating at kfc. though i am not that hungry, i just thought that it has been a while (a month actually) since i had a taste of that finger-lickin’ good chicken. so since there was a kfc branch near the shell gas station entering into valley 1, i nearly made up my mind of stopping there to eat. only thing was, there were limited parking spaces so i thought to myself, “if parking will be full, i’d pass on lunch and head home, since i’m not that hungry anyways.” and indeed, parking was full. so i headed on and suddenly got the thought of passing by that jollibee branch. it was a kilometer and a half more past home, but hey, compared to mcdonald’s at the mall which was three kilometers further, i’d settle for what’s nearer.

now just for the record, there are only two things that i eat at jollibee: their champ burger and their chickenjoy. absolutely nothing else. since at that time, i was not in the mood for rice meals, it’s obvious what i would order. so i pressed on for that kilometer and a half towards that jollibee branch and used their drive-thru lane. i was greeted by the usual pleasantries and the young lady then asked what i wanted. “one champ value meal, please” came my quick reply. to which the lady said, “just a moment sir, let me check if we have one available.” now i have done this several times before and when i order what i just did, it always, and i mean always, come up with a statement from the lady at the counter saying, “sir, are you willing to wait for 10 minutes for that champ burger?” as expected, i got that same reply. like what? 10 freaking minutes? i could go into that store and cook myself that burger for half the time and even manage to unload an earful to that store’s manager for not having what i wanted available!! i mean for christ’s sakes, it’s their restaurant’s high-end burger, and none is ready to be served?! and don’t give me that “risk of loss” crap for food-prepared-but-not-served-thus-eventually-going-to-waste rule. that’s not the way to do business and how customer satisfaction is achieved! i was in the same line of work five years ago you a**holes and it was always a rule that it’s better to have something available and have it written up as a loss if not served than deemed a sale with a customer’s complaint on the side. jesus freaking christ!! 10 minutes for a burger?! at a self-proclaimed number one fastfood chain in the country?! kiss my mcdonald’s eating a** now, would you?!

granted, i may be biased, but hey, i began my entry with the concept of fastfood restaurants, people. that applies to all fastfood restaurants. from burger king to carl’s jr., mcdonald’s or pitiful jollibee. fortunately, i wasn’t starving at that time or i would’ve kicked the crap out of everyone working there. i agreed, for the last time, to wait for that burger. as expected, it took more than 10 minutes. in frustration, as the lady on the serving window handed my burger, i snatched it right out of her hands and gave her the dirtiest look and sped off. i thought of speaking to a manager, but i know i’ll just be brushed off at the end after being apologized and thanking me for waiting, yada, yada, yada. i’m telling you, that’s the last time i’ll ever wait 10 minutes for a burger–in any fastfood restaurant. it’s a long shot that someone who works at that store will be reading this, but hey, better complain here that kicking the holy hell out of the manager(s) there, right?

no wonder jollibee is for the masses. they can make ’em wait without no complaints… how low can a company go…