today officially marks the start of the christmas season. and what better way for me to welcome my favorite time of the year than for me to make a simple list of the things i wish i could have for christmas this year. these are the things that i think i wouldn't be able to get for myself (not this year at least) due to financial constraints, hence the term "wishlist." it's time for me to be selfish for once, so if there are any generous souls out there who happen to chance upon this site and read my wishlist and be able to give poor little old me any of these five items as a christmas gift, this will be the most memorable christmas for me!! hehehehehe!!! without further delay, here are the top five material things i wish i could have for christmas this year:

5) a 4-day, 3-night all-expense paid full vacation package to either Boracay or Puerto Galera with pocket money – what can i say? i haven't been to either vacation hotspot….ever!! good thing i didn't ask for a trip to disneyland hongkong!! i actually had plans of going to puerto galera earlier this year with one of my buddies, but due to my unescapable, friggin' workload, i had to scrap the plans of going there. man, that could've been the ultimate vacation and would rid me of stress from my former company at that time. next year? honestly, i still don't know…. =(

4) a one-year free membership and free use of equipment, facilities and workout sessions at either Fitness First or Gold's Gym – i always wanted to start working out at the gym to trim down some excess pounds, but i'm bothered by the monthly fees and/or the payment(s) i have to make for each use of their equipment or for a workout session. they're damn too expensive!! what better way to discourage my plans of having a buff body than by additional pesos flying out of my wallet every month aside from the monthly home bills. *sigh* =(

3) a complete set of 5.1 dolby digital entertainment speaker system for my PC – this would make my CD burning hobby more sweet!! i usually play my music in two places: in my car, or in my PC. damn, i could just imagine the crystal clear sounds of each instrument being played and blowing the roof of my house when i play all the tunes i have stored full blast! plus watching DVDs and playing games like C&C Generals or Age Of Empires would be more exciting! damn….

2) an iPod – it would be my very first if ever. any iPod model except for the iPod Shuffle which i find so damn small and it has no visual interface. i never really thought about portable music before when the very first model came out, but come to think of it, me being a music lover, it's kinda insane for me not to have one. the least i could wish for is an iPod Mini. i guess that has enough memory to store the music i want on the road when i commute or when i want to be in my room with just music.

1) a nokia 6260 (or to exaggerate things, a nokia N90) – surprised? i'm dead serious. the nokia 6260 (the black one) is the one thing i'm really craving to have for myself since last year. december 5 would mark the first year anniversary of my nokia 7200, or what i would rather call, the "biggest purchase mistake i ever made." it was a choice between the 6260 or the 7200. i liked both of them at that time, thinking that both have almost the same important features. thanks to a sign (i guess i shouldn't have asked for one), i ended up buying what i have now. though the 7200 is serving me well, it not having bluetooth and an expandable memory is a major disadvantage that it brought me. i'm thinking of trading it in for a new one, but i'm also planning to buy a sun cellular simcard and i need to have two units. oh well, having the 6260 is at the top of my wishlist, and nothing can change that… *sigh*

so there it is. my top 5 things i know i wouldn't be able to have for christmas (worse, i wouldn't be having in the next year as well?). well, as the saying goes, "there's no penny spent for dreaming big." have a good week ahead everyone.

as i breezed through her resume, i focused my attention on the portion labeled, "work experience" since the questions on the interview sheet will be about her previous work or jobs. lo and behold, what i saw in there would throw me off guard in the most unexpected way i never thought possible. she never had any real professional experience, but was (or is, from my own judgement) a model for different commercials and was a binibining pilipinas candidate!!! she noticed that i was starting to show signs of being surprised so she then broke the silence by saying, "well, as you can see, i have no real office experience." i still kept silent as i continued to read her achievements and accolades that were listed. trying to compose myself, i then asked her to tell me something about herself since that's always my first question. she then smiled and started to answer by telling me everything about her experiences as a model, a candidate, and as the country's representative to the miss globe 2004 pageant to which she won the miss friendship award. i looked at her in awe as she was running though everything she's gone through. my hands suddenly became cold, my heart was starting to pump blood faster and my pulse started racing and i thought to myself, "damn, i'm in the company of a beauty queen! mark, settle down, all you have to do now is go on with the interview and don't make her feel awkward and nervous. make her nervous?? are you kidding?? she was a beauty pageant contestant for god's sakes, this interview session is a walk in the park for her!!"

(for those of you interested on what she looked like, visit http://www.bbpilipinas.com/candidates.html. she's number 21 – Micaela, or Kyla, as she wants to be called)

all of us have a thing regarding how our day or even the week will turn out. sometimes it's defined by how you wake up in the morning, what song you'll hear on the radio on the way to school or the office whether it be on your car or on public transport, or how you're being greeted by people when you arrive, yet others on the most bizarre of things, define their day or week will be good or bad at the taste of their morning coffee. well for me, i always believed that when i start my monday ok, the rest of the week will be the same and vice versa. this past week was different. entirely different. my week was defined on a friday.

the name was quite long, five in total, including the middle and last names. after reading the name, i looked at the group of people in the lobby, waiting for her (it was a female name) to stand up and follow me to the interview room. she then stood up and started heading my way. she was a pretty lady, tall, almost my height, very slim, simple-looking and has a complexion in which we filipinos call "morena." as she entered the interview room, i did my usual greeting and asked her to take a seat. i commented on how long her name was while writing it on the interview sheet to break the ice and asked her nickname. "just call me kyla. and yeah, i'm blaming my parents for giving me that name. do you know how hard it is when you're filling out official documents when you have a long name such as mine?" to which i jokingly replied, "it's not often that we fill out official documents, do we?" she just kept silent as i continued to finish writing down her information. "when i do have kids of my own, i also plan to give them three first names like 'angelo vincent kyle' or 'trisha nicole angela'," i added. to which she then replied, "they will then feel what i'm feeling now!" and laughed. i then noticed that she was feeling cold. i asked her if she was ok, she told me that she was indeed feeling cold. i offered her my jacket just to make her relax and feel comfortable since i had the notion that she might be nervous. she politely declined and just commented on how cold the air conditioning is in the building. i apologized to her about the temperature and still continued to offer my jacket. she still declined and mentioned that she can manage. i asked her if she was sure, and she calmly said yes. i then gave an introductory spiel and asked for a few seconds to go over her resume before starting the interview process, to which she nodded her head in agreement.

just as things are going quite well for me, i'm enjoying myself at work for the first time in years, and all is stress-free, you then get hit. not by sheer stress due to work, or the expectations that come with it, nor the sinking feeling that i might not deliver what is expected of me, but the unexplainable, unimaginable, unfathomable feeling that you're….down. just plain, simple, ordinary, feeling of being down. that feeling where everything is not as bright, not as lively, not as entertaining, not as worth living for as it used to be. believe me, i've had this feeling before on a more regular basis. i was kinda hoping that it wouldn't show up for quite some time, given my current professional situation. but as the saying goes, "things come when you least expect it." i have tried to address this feeling before, trying to find a "cure," if there is such, but to no avail. i have also tried to find reasons why i have these episodes, but i always come up with the conclusion that every person on the planet experiences some sort of "down episode(s)" in a lifetime. even after typing these lines on my entry, which i thought would help alleviate the feeling by ranting, do nothing to make me feel better. *sigh* i guess i just have to deal with this for the next couple of days. i just hope that this feeling would be over soon….

just want to give you guys a heads up on site two of my blog. still under construction though, but it will contain the complete opposite of what you read here. being a true blue gemini, i thought it best to express the other side of my personality for a change. the more liberated, openly expressive and mostly r-rated personality (R-21 to be exact). i have to admit that both these two personalities must co-exist in order for me to be, well, me as me can get. get ready to be surprised, shocked and your eyebrows raised for my entries from my other side. visit http://theothersideofmarkie.blogspot.com. it's really coming soon… pun really intended…