what do you when, let's say, you moved out of your neighborhood because of certain people you don't like for reasons that are, say, valid, and moved into a new neighborhood, one that you liked very much.  you get settled, you enjoy the new atmosphere without the shadows of the people you left behind being cast over you and you're almost certain that you won't be leaving.  then one day, one familiar face moves into town.  someone you knew from your former hood; someone who you knew, except for your current neighbors, that has a negative influence and is one of many reasons why you left that former neighborhood.  you keep silent, and just go about your daily business.  but as the days and weeks pass by, you see more of your reasons-why-you-left-your-former-neighborhood move in.  and all of a sudden, you have this sort of premonition wherein you see the old ways are being rekindled and those people who moved in are huddled together, sharing an evil laugh together as if they have found a new world to plunder and pillage.  what do you do?  you have almost fallen in love with the neighborhood that you don't want to leave, but what about the people moving in?

that's what i have been seeing over the past few weeks.  people from my old center moving in.  some have already been accepted and some, well, are still in the interview process.  although there was one person i saw who i can sing praises about.  he was walking around with a member of the top brass of the process and they passed by our department and i managed to say hi and shook his hand.  i even told his companion that he is a good man and should be considered for the job he's applying for.  but the rest, well, they were all part of the reasons i left my former center.  and i just heard last week that one of the top people in my list who i dislike and have the utmost disdain for was being interviewed!  my god!  if there was only a way for me to talk to our human resources department and tell them the work ethics of these people, or just beg for them not to be accepted here…  *sigh* oh well…  at least they're in different departments.  the least i can do is, well, spread the word about their skeletons.  and hopefully, maybe people around them will notice their habits from the get-go and dump them immediately.

what a way to end the work week…  😦

it was around 11AM when he got back into his work area and slumped back into his seat.  "another hour to go," he said to himself as his work week was coming to an end.  he'll be having a busy weekend, as appointments here and there filled his calendar.  the area was filled with his team, together with others, talking to people on the phones, and some, who don't have calls, talking to each other.  in the midst of him going about his work, he overheard one of his agents talking about how life was back in her old center.  she had already made known where she came from, but this time around, he suddenly became curious because she worked in the same company.  he didn't know why he suddenly became interested to know if her agent was in the same area as her.  he tried to brush off his itching feeling by going back to work, but as if fate was tempting him, he continued to overhear the conversation that was going on.  they haven't had any form of communication, not after she replied to his greeting on christmas day, asking him what days he didn't have any work.  he was puzzled at first why she would ask that, but replied nonetheless with the days he filed for vacation, as her usual response being… nothing.

just to get over that feeling, he suddenly turned to his agent and asked her, "which branch of your old company were you based?  the one in the north or the one in the south?"  the one in the north was where two of his cousins–well, one used to, but now has left to become a seafarer–was working, while she worked in the south.

"the one in the south," she replied.  "the nice thing about working there was we all almost knew each other because on that building, we were the only occupants," she continued.

this surprised him even more, his curiosity starting to build up as he may have first hand information about her during the time before his agent came on board a couple of months ago.  he then asked her, "do you know a certain person named…" and mentioned her name.  it took a couple of seconds before she could reply back.  "i'm not sure about her.  was she on the south end too?"

"yes, definitely," he said as he wasn't quite expecting that answer to come out of his agent.  "i'm not quite familiar with the name, but maybe i would if i could remember what she looked like," she said, looking pensive as she tried to recall the face associated with the name he gave her.  "why, is she your girlfriend?"  she then asked noticing the curious look on his face.

"no, well, i wish she was," came his reply.  "but as far as what she looked like is concerned, i think i can have that arranged," he continued as he reached into his pocket for his mobile phone.  he then searched among the pictures in his gallery and chose the picture which he then showed to her agent.

her face suddenly lit up and said,"ah yes!  i know her!  well, not personally, but we say hi and hello once in a while when we cross paths.  i know his boyfriend.  i don't know if they're still together though, but his boyfriend and i used to talk a lot."  to say that he was taken aback by the response was an understatement.  he had a look on his face like he just came out of a car wreck.  all along he knew that her boyfriend was the one working outside the country.  unless they broke up without him knowing, well, how would he know?  he then explained to her agent how they came to know each other and, well, their history in a few short sentences.  she then continued, "she was always the perky, bubbly and girly one.  she was fun to be with, according to those who were close to her, but i really don't know if they remained together after the guy resigned to go back to school."

"i see, but that's official, i mean she, or they were really a couple?"  he asked again, still cannot believing what he just heard.  "yeah, they were, or at least were until the guy left and i also left the company a couple of weeks later," she answered.  "ok, thanks," he replied back and went back to his seat, still shell-shocked at what just transpired.  she had always told him that she loved his boyfriend back when they were close, and wouldn't do anything to jeopardize their relationship.  that was why their closeness ended in the first place, because it was going too far.  at least, that's what she said.  but how they acted while they were together was something else.  he had always thought that she would eventually end up getting married to his boyfriend when the time came.  but with this revalation, more questions came up.  questions such as, did they break up?  when did that happen?  if so, why didn't she tell me?  did her having a 'boyfriend' was just a lie?  yet he felt deep inside that the answers to those questions are already irrelevant.  she has changed.  and even though he still felt something for her, their situation was like something out of a tragic love story–never to be realized.  and as his shift ended for the week, he then focused his attention on what he'll be doing that weekend.  and although this new information about her is still vividly in his mind, it's something that he cannot do anything about.  but there was one thing he can do for her, and that is to just wish her well.

dear self,

first of all, i'm as surprised writing this as you are reading it.  it's the very first time i'm doing this so please bear with me.  i've been wanting to tell you some stuff but don't know how to go about it.  i mean, we see each other everyday, but for some reason, all this time we've been journeying through life together, we haven't had time to sit, reflect, and talk about what we have done, what we are doing, and what we want to do.  we're halves of one person and being a gemini, our halves are equally different, yet equally the same.  so this new year's was the best time i decided to step up and be heard–at least between ourselves.  i know you're still freaking out at this, but please, hear me out for a couple of minutes.

there are some things i'd like to to tell you and one of them is what a good job professionally you've done this past year.  this is, career-wise, one of the best performances you've had, and one of the most successful, if not the most successful one you've had so far.  i commend you for your dedication to your job and i know that you're enjoying your stay where you're at right now.  i hope that this dedication will continue well into this year.  yet in spite of your professional success and achievement, you have taken some things for granted.  first and foremost is your health.  my god, looking at us in the mirror everyday, i say us gain an additional five to 10 pounds!  damn, no wonder that tummy is really sticking out this time!  although i'm glad to know that you have a plan for this starting this month.  i'll totally support you on this and i know that together we can make a huge step in getting back in shape this year.

another thing i'm proud of is how honest you were this year.  not just with your friends, or with your colleagues, or your family, or with what's happining in society (personally, i really liked and am proud of what you said about the subic rape case) but most important is that you were keeping it real to yourself.  to us.  whenever you felt tearing someone's head off, you showed it.  whenever you felt missing someone, especially her, your tears proved it.  now i know you've been a whole lot emotionally this past couple of years, but what made you strong i suppose is your honesty to yourself.  so what if your friends told you to get over her and somehow you can't?  that doesn't make you less of a man.  it just shows how you do love someone and how that person meant that much to you.  who gives a shit about what others think?  continue keeping it real.  that's what sets you apart from other people.  don't hesitate in saying what you feel.  if you need to wear your heart on your sleeve, then do it.  i'm with you all the way.

on a lighter note, you improved on your movie-watching this year.  you watched a total of 12 films this year, double of the total you've seen during the last two years!  i just hope that this year, you'll be watching it with someone other than yourself or with just a friend.  but, i'll leave the significant other hunting to you.  i'm just the other half, feeding off your accomplishments and sharing on your sorrows.  i totally trust you with your emotions and feelings and i have no doubt in my mind that sooner rather than later, our heart will be beating for someone again.

i know that you know that this year will be different.  i also have that tingling feeling that beyond what lies ahead is a year meant for us.  with the hard work we have had over the last year, i suppose that this time is our time.  we deserve it.  let's go and make it happen.  nothing beats a positive feeling and i also know you're excited.  i know i am.

regards,

your self.

another year has come and gone.  as what is normally being done during this time of the year, reflections and look-backs of this year spring about from television companies to newspapers to about almost everything that can be looked back on.  i used to do that on previous entries, but for this year, i'll just reflect on an accomplishment(s) and failure(s) i had for 2006.  although it is really nice to do some sort of countdown like what i posted last year, due to time constraints, i am unable to do so.  in any case, i might throw some things into the mix for i am writing this as i go along (like i mostly do with my entries, no drafts whatsoever).  so, here goes:

major accomplishment(s) for 2006 – there are not much things i did this year that are worthy of being called accomplishment, but if i were to name some things that i think are positively noteworthy are:  one, getting my nokia n90 phone; two, transferring blog sites; and three, almost getting a perfect attendance record for one year at work.  getting my current phone was a dream come true in itself.  i never thought i would see the day that i would purchase such a piece of electronic gadget, which is the most expensive personal item i got so far.  i initially thought of getting an n93 when it came out, but i felt that getting the n90 was a product of blood, sweat and tears from my previous company, so trading it in suddenly became out of the question and i plan to hold on to this phone (like i did in all the phones i bought) for as long as i can.  transferring my blog to i.ph from ebloggy.com is also one that i hold in high regard.  fully customizable templates and the pride of it being in dot ph got me sold.  plus the fact that i was able to transfer my previous entries (although manually) from the previous blog site added to the happiness i had in transferring over.  don't worry, i'll be including pictures on my entries soon.  and nearly having a perfect attendance record for one year is quite an achievement for my career.  never in my life had i imagined that i would go to the office everyday for one whole year. of course, it is inclusive of vacation leaves, but still, looking back at my track record for absences at work, although it's a little improvement from my last company, it's still something i am slightly proud of.

major failure(s) for 2006 – 2006 in general was a good year for me.  only two things come to mind about not getting or reaching for some things i needed, and they were:  one, losing weight and getting in shape; and two, not finding a significant other.  well, number two has been on the list of failures for a decade now (i celebrated 10 years of being single back in february) and i don't see any major improvement on the first quarter of 2007.  but still, friends are telling me that this coming year will be my year, and that they're setting me up with different women, yada, yada, yada…  i mean, not that i'm taking what they're doing for granted, no, not at all.  in fact i'm thrilled that they are so overly concerned about me having a lovelife that they're going through great lengths to make sure that i do.  it's just that i'm taking it one day at a time.  or rather, one date at a time.  i also have to remind myself that i'm now five months away from my deadline of getting married, or at least engaged, before turning 31 or else i'll adopt a kid to raise on my own.  but as they say, you can never tell.  with regards to losing weight, i already have a concrete plan which will start as soon as the third day of january.  i'll divulge the details soon enough, i just need to finalize some things before i formally get underway.  as i was telling brew earlier today, maybe getting myself in shape first would be the spark that ignites positive energy to come my way and, well, so too will the ladies.

there.  a quick look back at 2006.  chalk that up to the years labeled good.  and hopefully 2007 will be better.  i might not be posting until the latter part of the first week of january, or maybe the second week, but by then, things would've settled down after the holiday rush.  here's wishing everyone a safe, peaceful, injury-free and prosperous welcoming of the new year!!  🙂

the greeting may be late, but hey, 'tis the season, right?  so to all bloggers, readers, and everyone out there, here's wishing you a very blessed and fruitful

merry christmas!!!  🙂