"do you have work tonight, or are you at home?"  read the message that came through his mobile phone.  it was an hour past midnight of saturday and he indeed was home, trying to get some sleep.  "yup, i'm at home," came his reply back to her.  it was one of her off-and-on attempts of communicating with him, as if nothing had happened.  and for some reason, it was as if fate made him quite sleepless on that night.

"wanna grab a cup of coffee or somethin'?  i'm still kinda sleepy and my shift starts at 2:30am,"  she replied back.  it was the first time she had asked him out, or at least attempted to, since around two years ago.  he was quite surprised at her message, and took some time to think before replying back.  suddenly, his mobile phone rang with her on the other end of the line.  "hey, so, how about that coffee?"  she quickly said after he answered the phone.  "starbucks is gonna be full of people being a saturday night, and even after we meet up, you won't be having enough time to order and drive to work.  heck, we won't be even having a decent conversation during that time," he said back, to which he added, "by the way, where are you? aren't you supposed to be at your dorm near the office?"  knowing that she usually stays there whenever she has work.  "i just left home.  we don't even have to go to starbucks, silly.  we can just hang out at a nearby gas station.  even just a 3-in-1 coffee sachet would do.  i just need a wake-up drink 'cause i couldn't sleep earlier."  she said.  she sounded her usual, normal self, yet there was a sign of sleepiness.  "even though," he started to reply.  "by the time we would meet up, you'll be having at least 30 minutes left before your shift starts.  why don't you just drop by my place and i'll make you a cup of coffee?"  he asked.  he felt slightly surprised by what he said.  yet he thought for sure she wouldn't take him up on it.  "nah, i don't even remember how to get to your place," she said.

"well, it's up to you," he replied back, waiting for her to end the conversation.  "so how are you?  you still there at that place?"  she asked, referring to his place of work.  "yeah, i'm still there.  wait, didn't you say that you just left home?  i thought you were staying at the dorm near the office?"  he asked.  "i moved out a couple of months ago," she answered.  "i started driving to work from home and back since then.  wait, didn't i tell you that before?"

"no, you didn't.  we hardly talk, remember?  well, i mean, you hardly ever get in touch with me," he said, trying to make her feel the slightest bit of guilt for their incommunicado status.  "well, stars like me don't have the time to stop and talk, you know, with schedules and everything," she said in her usual, charming, joking self.  "right," he snapped back.  "you don't have time for me.  you only have time for your 'other' friends, but not me," he added.  "no, honestly, i hardly even go out anymore, much less spend time talking to my friends.  work is just pinning me to the ground, not to mention the travel time to and from work,"  came the swift reply.  he would've wanted to believe her, but knowing her, he just pretended she didn't said that.  "anyways, i think i'll just go to the office and get some sleep before my shift starts," she then said.  "are you sure you can even drive in your condition?"  he asked.  "yes, i'll be fine.  talk to you later, ok?"

"ok, drive safely," he responded.  at that, their short conversation ended.  he again heard her famous last words, talk to you later.  he just smirked at the thought, and as he went back to bed, his thoughts were empty.  just like her famous last words.

i was driving to work when this classic tune from the barenaked ladies came on.  i haven't listened to alternative tunes for quite some time now since i bought the tribute album to the apo hiking society, bossa nova princess sitti, and got my fix of trance and house tunes, so i decided to randomly pick an alternative cd from my collection and popped it into the car stereo.  i have to admit, it was quite a welcome relief to hear past but great songs from matchbox twenty, hoobastank, goo goo dolls, and dave matthews just to name a few.  but when this song came on, i just felt… i dunno… sentimental, i guess.  not that the song touched a chord inside me, but rather how the mood of the song was.  how he'll always be there for her, yet he ends up being used, abused and left hanging by her.  story of my life?  maybe.  just thought i'd share the lyrics of a song that ended up playing in my head the rest of the day at work.

call and answer

barenaked ladies

I.

i think it's getting to the point

where i can be myself again

i think it's getting to the point

where we have almost made amends

i think it's getting to the point

that is the hardest part

Chorus:

and if you call, i will answer

and if you fall, i'll pick you up

and if you court this disaster

i'll point you home

II.

you think i only think about you

when we're both in the same room

you think i'm only here to witness

the remains of love exhumed

you think we're here to play

a game of who loves more than whom

repeat chorus

III.

you think it's only fair to do what's best for

you and you alone

you think it's only fair to do the same to me

when you're not home

i think it's time to make this something that is

more than only fair

repeat chorus

bridge

but i'm warning you, don't ever do

those crazy, messed up things that you do

if you ever do, i promise you

i'll be the first to crucify you

now it's time to prove that you've come back

here to rebuild… rebuild… rebuild… rebuild… rebuild…

summer is here.  well, sort of.  early dawn and mid-afternoon temperatures are still kinda cool, not to mention the sudden downpour that happened over the weekend.  yet undoubtedly, it is the start of the summer season.  and this has got my mind thinking of only one thing:  hitting the beach.  putting what happened over the botched plan i had last year in the rear-view mirror, i started to look around for potential getaways and found two–with at least one solid plan.  in other words, i'm finally going to the beach this year!!  finally!!  i can't say that enough with much emphasis and excitement.  damn it, i so much want to get out of city life for a change for maybe two nights at the most and enjoy the sand, stare and drool at the eye candy babes, and breathe the sea air.  if this still doesn't happen, i honestly don't know what's wrong with me.  but, as they say, "think positive," so here are my (crossed-fingered) plans:

getaway plan number one:  puerto galera

when:  late april 2007

this is the more solid of the two plans i have.  some batchmates at work and i thought of spending a post-holy week vacation and what better place to be at than, well, the beach.  i, of course was the most animated one in the discussion since i haven't been to puerto galera since, well, ever.  it's a given that it's going to be on a weekend, when most of the group are off work and only the remaining few can file for a vacation leave (me included, that is, if schedules for the second quarter of the year stays as it is).  the only challenge i have is the time i have in saving money for this trip.  the most i can do is try to pay off my credit card balance as much as i can to free up the limit.  then, it's swipe, swipe, swipe!  god, if my old self can hear me now about credit cards.  he would have a field day running me down.  but hey, the beach is calling so what the hell, right?  🙂

getaway plan number two:  boracay

when:  june 2007

this is my backup plan in case number one goes kaput.  wait, this is my backup plan?  what the hell am i thinking making this my "backup" plan?  i must be going beach crazy.  well, thanks to cebu pacific's ongoing promo, fares to boracay have been reduced.  i just don't know if the reduction amount is that significant–taking into consideration that i haven't planned a trip to boracay before–but i pretty much think that it's a good deal.  i tried to see how much a two-way ticket to and from kalibo on their website costs and it came up to PHP3,484.32.  hmmm, not bad.  but that's just the airfare.  from what i heard–and you can correct me on this–accomodations range from four to six grand, depending on how long the stay is.  so for me, that's roughly around 10 grand.  and that's for a two-night, three-day deal.  and i still don't have pocket money for that.  so throw in an additional two grand (at least) and that would bring the total expenses to around 14 grand at the most.  uhm…. am i losing my mind?  well, the only positive thing here is that i have more than enough time to save up.  but the downside is that i have to book and pay the flight online–and i don't even like making online purchases–between now and march 8th in order to avail of the discounted rates.  and it's non-refundable.  now that will put my credit card in a bind.  *sigh*  seriously, it's something worth saving up for (after paying the airfare now) and enjoying it later.  but again, as i've mentioned, the first one is the more solid than this, and if that pushes through, i will more likely put this one off.  unless i can get free boracay accomodations for my birthday then that would be a different story.  but airfares will be back to their normal rates by then, so go figure.

just mentioning those two plans make me want to leave the office, go home, pack some stuff and go to whatever beach on my own, right now.  must be the coffee talking.  plus the fact that i'll be having a six-day work week this week.  well, at least i already have beach plans.  and that's just half of it.  getting there is the other half.  and i hope i don't end up just taking the first half.  that would be a major nut-numbing experience.  like i know how it feels to have my nuts go numb.  😛

** i'm in the midst of a 13-hour shift today which started at 3AM to cover for a colleague's team.  but that's not so bad.

** i was asked to pull out some associates from my team to assist a new batch of associates who are undergoing their first day of taking actual calls and do floorwalking duties, thus sacrificing the work that needs to be done.  but that's not so bad.

** i was asked to help discuss procedures in a debriefing session to that new batch since i was more knowledgeable on the particular queue that they were handling.  but that's not so bad.

 ** i accepted the request even though i was hungry for my last meal was lunch of yesterday.  but that's not so bad.

** after the debriefing session, i was on the receiving end of a colleague's angry tirade, accusing me of leaving her all alone on the floor while she took supervisor calls left and right, and wasn't able to take her lunch.

** my whole team, together with some members of her team, heard her scream at me.  i tried to explain that i was asked to help, but she wouldn't hear any of it.

** she went even further by saying that I wasn't supposed to handle that batch until next week.

** before storming off to have her lunch break, i sarcastically shouted, "ok, it was my fault, i'm sorry ok?!"  and went back to my station.

** my pulse is still racing, my anger still uncalmed.

** i still haven't had lunch.  just coffee the whole day.

** i ranted to other colleagues who happened to see what went on.

** i still have until 4PM today to take all the supervisory calls that the associates can throw at me, while she ends her shift at 1PM.

** i was gone for only an hour.

** helping cover three teams against guiding one class.

** but that's not so bad….  or is it…

** happy place, happy place… think of a happy place… it's the weekend, think of a happy place…

i got this from liz' blog and in the spirit of valentine's, decided to give it a try. here are the results:

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is high. You find it easy to be devoted and loyal to one person. And in return, you expect the same from who you love. Any sign of straying, and you'll end things. Experience Level: Your experience level is medium. You probably have had a couple significant loves. And you may have even had your heart broken. But you haven't really dated a wide variety of people. Dominance: Your dominance is medium. You tend to be the one with more power. You aren't a total control freak in relationships.. But of course you don't mind getting you way! Cynicism: Your cynicism is low. You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance. No matter how many times you've been hurt – you're never bitter. You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate. And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon. Independence: Your independence is medium. In relationships, you need both "me time" and "we time." You usually find it easy to be part of a couple. But occasionally you start to feel a little smothered.

The Five Variable Love Test

some are true, and some aren't.  most notably, the experience level part.  well, to each his own, i guess.