not much happened during this year's holy week observance.  it's just by sheer coincidence that my rest days fell on maundy thursday and good friday, so i'm back to work on saturday night (sunday morning).  sans the holiday pay, i would still prefer to have those two days off and do the things we usually do on good friday which was the way of the cross by visiting churches.  we have always done two stations per church, and it's no different this year, although i wished that we would visit churches we haven't been to before.  what stopped us from doing so is my cousin (who owns the auv we used to visit the churches), saying that we should only visit the churches nearest to our location so as to save on gasoline.  i found that a bit out of place, since holy week was about sacrifice, so what better way to sacrifice than to spend time (and fuel) going from one church to another.  just before we left, we found out that one of our relatives actually visited 14 churches.  that's one station per church!  now that's something that i hatched an idea on for next year.  14 churches from north of manila to south of manila.  now that would be a real sacrifice-slash-adventure.  i'll be looking forward for that one next year.

so it's a long weekend.  a very long weekend.  well, not for me.  to think that with all the years i have spent working in this industry, by now i should be used to not having the same perks (such as real holidays with real work stoppage) as everyone else in the working class.  but noooo.  having holiday pay doesn't do justice.  some people may think otherwise, but hey, a holiday is a holiday in my book.  in any case, it's easter and this day should be a cause for celebration in the catholic world, so i'll leave bitching about not having a five-day weekend to another day.  my birthday is coming up in a few weeks–a month and a half to be exact–and i can't help thinking that i'm one year above the third decade.  plans come and go, and my grand plan of adopting a child to raise on my own upon not being married or engaged by 30 is officially shelved.  i have my reasons for doing so, and i just felt that it would be better to not force to change the status quo and just let fate and nature dictate it's course for me, not to mention the big G upstairs, if he has something for me.  but in any case, i'll just continue doing what i do–be a person for others–and take everything else in stride.  i still believe in karma, so as the old saying goes, "what goes around, comes around."

happy easter to everyone!  🙂

my brother came home from a company-sponsored trip to japan this past saturday night.  he was there since the first week of january for training purposes, so it was quite a long stint for him.  'twas also his first time to be sent by the company he's working for and also his first time out of the country since our trip to the US back in '97.

of course we're all thrilled that he's home and while it was a given that he brought home some goodies from the land of high-tech gadgets, nothing has floored me more than when he gave me a 30GB ipod.  it also supports pictures and plays mp4 video, so i guess it's a 30GB ipod video.  my god, i now have an ipod!  even now, three days after his arrival, i still cannot believe what i have in my possession.  this was just on my wishlist before and for the second straight year, i got at least one of the things i have on my wishlist.  talk about unbelievable!  i actually noticed upon him getting into the car that night from the airport that he had a set of earphones on and while i assumed that he was just listening to music using his n70, it left me speechless when, upon arriving home, he removed the earphones (which were hanging by the back of his neck during the ride home) and pulled something from his pocket and handed it to me, saying that it was for me.  i never realized that it was an ipod because it was still in it's case and upon pulling it out, that's when shock (in a good way) overcame me.  damn!!  🙂

i started using it sunday morning and installed itunes on my pc.  the only drawback i see on this device is that the songs cannot be dragged and dropped to the ipod from the pc.  it always has to use the sync command to transfer mp3s to and from the pc (well, transfer to the ipod only since syncing (did i spell it right?) automatically erases the songs which are de-selected).  i guess i still need to get used to the software, but nonetheless, it's all good.  the funny thing is, all the mp3s–and i mean all–on my pc can be transferred to my ipod and i still have, like 15GB of free space left.  so i'm guessing this is where pictures and video come into play.  my videos (favorite music videos) are in mpeg format and i still have to convert it to mp4, so that'll take some work.

thanks to my brother, i now have something new to focus my free time on.  being a music lover, this is something that i will definitely bring whenever i leave the house.  sadly though, i cannot bring it to work with the security thing and all.  he is one really, really cool brother.  the ipod was, as others often put it, an unexpected surprise.  but isn't a surprise be unexpected by default?  how will be a surprise if you know it'll come your way?  now that is a different story.

upon reaching home yesterday around noon-ish, i turned on the tv to see what was on.  i normally tune to the news on a local uhf channel to keep myself updated with what's happening since i hardly have time watching the evening edition.  yet somehow, i found myself checking out the cable movie channels and to my surprise, saw that the movie notting hill was on.  though i started on the part where hugh grant was getting out of the elevator hotel with a boquet of flowers in hand, thinking that he would be alone with julia roberts but instead faced a mob of movie people in a press conference for julia's character having a new movie, i still got hooked and never changed the channel again.  the thing is, i do have that movie on dvd and had planned on watching it for the longest time (i lost count as to how many times i've seen it), for some reason it always slipped my mind, and now here i am, watching it when i least expected it.

i admit that this movie is one of my all-time favorites, yet i don't know the reason why i like this movie that much.  perhaps it gives the notion that a simple man can have things he would never dream of.  i mean, what are the odds that the simplest of simple guys get to have a big hollywood celebrity as his girlfriend, and eventually his wife?  true that there were times that they were at each other's necks (well, at least julia was on hugh's, most of the time), but the fact that they got to meet, interact and get along is hollywood enough.  oh well, bottomline is that it's still a movie to watch over and over again (but not in rapid succession) and it has a very basic, but good story.  and to end this weird entry, i'll take an excerpt dialogue from the film which i found funny (among other parts of the movie) and at the same time, worth thinking about:

anna (julia):  i can't believe you have that painting (looks at mark chagall's painting on the wall of william's pad).

william (hugh):  you like chagall?

anna:  it's how happiness should be.  flying, wandering around…

william:  with a goat, playing a violin…

anna:  well, yeah.  happiness isn't happiness without a violin-playing goat.

over dinner sunday night, my mom and i had a discussion-slash-argument about me going to the US within the year to use my visa before it expires next year.  there was more discussion than argument, with the latter focusing on travel expenses, i.e., plane ticket and pocket money.  while the taking a leave from work part can easily be arranged, monetary usage is a hard bargain.  it's a given that being the eldest in the family, and with my dad almost incommunicado, i shoulder majority of the household expenses.  i hardly have anything left to save for myself, and with the stress i get at work, i'd rather spend whatever remains from my salary on relaxation–movies, a little bit of shopping, going out with friends–rather than saving up and in the end, losing my sanity by staying home every weekend doing nothing.  our discussion ended openly, or should i say it was an open-ended discussion, with the topic still up in the air as to when i would eventually make that trip.  or in my point of view, it's not a matter of when, but how.

while i feel compelled to make that trip, i don't see the real reason as to why i should.  the thought of spending–and i emphasize the word spending–a significant amount of money for just a five-day trip (at least, that being the most logical timeframe, with one week at the most) in order to use the visa before it expires seems, i don't know, irrelevant.  for one thing, it doesn't guarantee–well, correct me if i'm wrong–that if the visa was used at least once before it expires, it's automatic approval upon renewal.  and with the US all riled up on homeland security, i'm not at all surprised if they take a much closer look on visa renewals, especially those who make fewer trips inland.

but one more thing that bothers me i guess the most is, that although i also feel lucky to have been granted a US visa, i don't understand why most of my family–and filipinos in general–consider that as the be-all and end-all of their lives.  my mom has been persuading me to go to the US ever since i was in college, saying that i have a better future there.  we have had countless debates and arguments about this that ended up with my sudden trip back in the summer of 1997.  i was really caught by surprise back then because i was working part time at mcdonald's and had planned on spending summer just working and not worry about school.  eventually, i did make that trip, stayed there for around two months with my dad until school obligations forced me to come back home.  my mom was forcing me to stay and look for a job, but i would never sacrifice a diploma for a chance of making more money overseas.

but again, it goes back to the question as to why do most of us hinge our hopes–our very lives–of getting a US or even a UK visa and making it outside of our shores rather than working here?  are we really that despondent about our country's future?  my mom reminded me more than once that other people try their whole lives getting a visa and still get denied, and that i should be thankful that i was able to get one without much problems.  am i that thankful?  maybe, but i guess i feel more sorry for those other people.  not because they were denied on their visa applications, but more on their attitudes towards themselves and how they see that getting out of the country is the only option.  i don't consider myself lucky to be in the position i have right now.  where i am today is product of hard work, patience, persistence and the belief that i can make it here.  yet there was a time where i almost gave up.  and even if i had the option (and luxury) of just packing my bags and migrating, i placed that at the tail end of my options, tagged that as the last resort, and hung on.  and i'm proud to say that career-wise, i made the best decision of staying here.  i just wish that others would see things how i see it.  and that is to always have hope for ourselves, and for our country.

maybe i'll take that trip, maybe i won't.  if i do, then it would be either company-sponsored, or a windfall of cash came my way.  if i don't, then it's no big deal.  but one thing is for sure:  i won't be pressured as much to take it.  if my visa expires, so what?  it doesn't change things for me.  life goes on.  both for me, and even for people whose visa applications get denied.  it is up to themselves how it goes on.  they have to find within themselves the strength and will to be successful as they want to be, even without setting foot on foreign soil.  i did.  and look where it got me.  and i can dare say that if i had the chance to go through everything again, i'd still make the decisions i've made and wouldn't change anything.  there's still hope for others who still have delusions in getting out of the country.  as they say, the next best opportunity is now.

starting today, things at the office will be a lot tougher.  no, not performance wise, but security wise.  just this past friday, a memo was sent out saying that effective monday, the upper management will be implementing a much more strict–if not already stringent–security measures regarding, well, how we work.  the memo dictates that there will only be a list–a short one at that–of what should be on our workstations.  and that list covers us on the middle management.  of course, as managers, we have lots of stuff on our workstations.  all of them work-related.  to name a few, they are small drawers for our supplies, forms and other documents; in-out trays for document transmittals; monthly performance ranges of our associates for easy reference; and managers' calendar for our schedules and appointments to be easily seen and reminded of without going through our own computers using outlook or lotus notes (which was asked by our bosses to be posted on our workstations as well).  and of course, some personal stuff like pictures of me with my colleagues at our last christmas party.  all of them had to go, according to the memo.  so i spent half the day last friday clearing out my desk.  my colleagues and i arrived at a consensus to return the drawers and trays because, well, they'll be obsolete to say the least.  i went through some old documents and made frequent trips to the shredding machine to get rid of papers no longer of use.  when i announced this to my team, not surprisingly, all of them reacted negatively to it.  bottomline is, they (and i mean upper or senior management) want to streamline what can be brought to the operations floor, what can be seen on all the workstations, and implementing (or at least trying to) a paper-less environment.

how did i react to it?  to put it in simpler terms, it's plain overkill.  i mean, the company has always been strict with data protection and everything and we have been doing our share to prevent fraudulent activity in our immediate area, but to restrict what can be seen on our workstations?  most of my associates have their achievement certificates displayed there, not to mention medals, recognition buttons, and other work-related reference materials.  all of which are not on the list.  i just shook my head in agreement as one of my associates told me, "then we should just stop having our monthly department-wide gathering because it's nonsense awarding the top performers for the month if the proof of recognition cannot be even displayed as inspiration, not just to me, but to my fellow associates as well.  what will we do with them, bring them home?  this is not school where awards are to be brought home and showed to our parents.  we earned what we were awarded and it's just proper that we display them on our stations."  i couldn't agree more.  we filipinos by nature treat our work as personal as can be.  the office is like a second home, so we want to make it as homey as we can.  i mean can you imagine coming to work everyday to an empty, bare, lifeless station with nothing to look at when stress sets in or when there's nothing to smile about because, simply, there's nothing displayed.

but here's where it gets more interesting.  now, i understand the need for mobile phones to be left on the associates' lockers.  but their wallets too?  what the hell?!  and, not do they only must leave their wallets on their lockers, upon leaving the office, the security personnel will do almost a strip search on you, even your wallets.  imagine one whole department ending their shift at a particular time and then have to queue in line up at the exits to at least half an hour just to get out?  how pissed would the employees be?  plus, there has been reported incidents on theft at the associates' lockers (this with masterlock safe locks provided to the associates by the company free of charge) that are still unsolved so leaving personal stuff there like mobile phones and wallets aren't 100 percent safe.  some of my team members actually leave those stuff with me on my personal file drawer before their shift starts and get them upon leaving.  i don't mind that the least, but for upper management  to disallow their most valuable and important personal possesion to be brought with them always is just plain stupid.

i understand the dire need for data protection and security.  after all, we are indeed a global company and we deal with very sensitive information on a daily basis.  i supported the move made by upper management late last year on an intensified background check of current and future employees where we had to submit tons of documents ranging from our parents' birth certificates, to utility bills to prove we live where we say we live, and sign waivers allowing the company to interview or call up our schools and requesting for data about ourselves.  that in itself was really difficult, but i had no problem with it.  but for this new security measure, i give it a two thumbs down.  it is like upper management doesn't trust their employees anymore even after going through that very thorough and threading a needle-like background check for us to gain employment.  this is more like paranoia to me rather than security.  i mean if there would be individuals who would defraud the company, they would have either:  left the company, stopped what their doing, or have done so already.  but for everyone to go through the hassle of being suspected of doing something illegal, that's just too much.  i could just imagine the applicants at the main lobby witnessing how all of this is happening.  man, that would translate to the applicant saying, "what is this, a prison facility?"  or, "what a horrible place to work," or worse, "i'll just apply somewhere else where they treat employees with respect and tell all my friends about the horrifying procedures of this place."

there's such a thing as respect and trust.  if the company or management have little or none of both to their employees, even if the name of the company itself is prestigious in nature, i don't see current employees staying long, and employee satisfaction together with the number of applicants would diminish.  not that i'm planning to leave or anything, i'm just seeing this as one of their bad, if not overly stinking decisions made due to security gone paranoid.