it was a fairly warm saturday afternoon, a bit lighter than the usual humid and prickly days over the past week.  he had been trying to get some sleep for it was the first day (or night) of the work week in a couple of hours.  he had been having difficulty sleeping because of the heat for the past couple of days, even though he'd took a shower beforehand.  this time was not quite different, though the humidity was quite bearable.  he was trying to empty his mind in order to get some shut-eye as he tossed and turned around his bed.  his mobile phone suddenly alerted him with a message.  he gamely ignored it, even not bothering to look at his phone, telling to himself, "there's no one i know right now who would send me a message containing something important at this time."  he turned to the opposite direction where his phone lay and still tried to get that precious sleep.

after which seemed a quarter past an hour, his phone sounded off again, another message just came in.  he was still conscious, although halfway into dreamland.  he continued to ignore the alert tone and listened to its entirety before starting over in getting some sleep.  yet this time, something at the back of his mind was urging him to read that second message.  like angels and devils floating above his head as he lay, silent arguments ran back and forth about whether or not to pick up that phone and read the message.  he tried to ignore the constant prodding of this mysterious entity as he tried to stick with his plan.  until the prodding got the best of him.

he sat up and picked up the phone.  "2 new messages," it read.  he went to his inbox and saw the first message which came from one of his colleagues asking something trivial about work.  he skipped that and proceeded to the newer message.  what he read wiped all that was left of his drowsiness and left him with shock and awe.  the message read, "hey there.  i miss you.  let's go out some time, is that ok with you?"  it was from her.  yet his surprise quickly disappeared and was replaced with the i-know-where-this-is-going feeling and quickly dismissed at what seemed to be an effort on her part to re-establish communication lines or whatever.  being himself, and knowing well in hand that this would probably go 95 percent nowhere, he replied, "sure.  i have thursdays and fridays off" and sent the message.  a reply came quickly, saying, "ok.  where will we go?  how about grabbing something to eat?  i'm sounding weird, am i?"  to which he replied back, "anywhere you want to go.  when will it be?"  expecting a non-reply from her, like she would most of the time do in a middle of a conversation, a message then came in, saying, "i don't know when yet, ok?"

he took a while to think of what to reply back.  in the hopes of trying to continue the conversation, he sent, "ok.  so how are you?"  the span of silence that it took for the phone to alert him with a replied message suddenly became longer.  and longer.  and longer.  "typical,"  he said to himself as he went back to trying to get some sleep, to which this time, he was quite successful in doing so.  another bizarre episode with the mystery woman has passed.  when will it ever end?

i just hope, for his sake, manny pacquiao loses his fight today.

if it takes a loss to make him realize all the stupidity he's doing outside the ring, then so be it.  because sometimes, a lesson needs to be learned the hard way.

i used to be a fan of pacman, but apparently, success is going way over his head.  his intent on running for congress proves it.  i have since then, lost respect for him.

i just hope he really loses.

maybe i spoke too soon.  maybe i jumped to conclusions.  maybe i even wrote things off this early in the game.  but whatever i did, there's no denying the fact that things can change in the blink of an eye.  the next day after i wrote my previous ranting entry, the woman whose name is associated with sweets, and i had lunch.  well, a late lunch at that.  i actually never saw it coming.  i mean, just when i let my foot off the accelerator with regards to pursuing her, we actually had our first date.

it was thursday morning, and i was looking forward to ending my work week and a team building session on friday night.  we were a little short on personnel on the management side, so my boss asked me to extend my hours until whatever time i can to help the closing shift have coverage.  i naturally said yes, it being my final day at the office and having no plans of watching a movie, which i normally do as i leave work.  i planned on extending for a maximum of two hours, feeling that is sufficient help enough for the closing manager to cover the floor.  she then arrives at her usual time and like clockwork, we exchange pleasantries.  we both went about our work, notwithstanding at times we would exchange short conversations whenever she would pass by my way and vice versa.

towards the end of my regular hours, during one of our short conversations, she mentions that she was getting hungry.  thinking that she would never say yes, i jokingly asked her out to lunch.  she replied that she doesn't take her lunch during their lunch break per se which was at 12 noon, but work can sometimes extend up to two in the afternoon.  "no problem," i said.  "i don't have nothing to do after work so it's ok.  plus i'll be extending my shift around two hours."  she then nodded in agreement.  while i was glad to have finally asked her out for the first time, it still came as a surprise she actually agreed to go out with me, even if it is just lunch.

we went to north park at ATC at past 2PM.  she was doing most of the talking, while i, of course mostly listened a lot.  i dunno if her being talkative is a sign of nervousness, but at least it made me ask less questions about her, like she's naturally telling me about herself.  she still talked during lunch.  she talked about her recent relationship which ended a couple of months ago and would sometimes ask me what i thought about what happened and the what if scenarios involving their break up.  from her stories, including her teen years and college days, i have come up with the impression that she's a strong-willed woman and someone who is not afraid of expressing herself.  she told me also about her dream of becoming a flight stewardess before, and i agreed that she'd make a gorgeous one at that, but she became afraid that she might not make it.  then i suddenly realized that she's not all devil-may-care, headstrong woman.  that she has also times of self-doubt and prone to weakness.  i told her that it's never too late to chase her dream.  to which she jokingly replied that she already has marks on her legs.  i almost asked her if i can see them, but common sense told me not to.  but honestly, who wouldn't want to see her smooth legs?  maybe next time, i told to myself.

i brought her back to the office after lunch and headed on home.  but not without finally getting her mobile number.  i admit that i had a good time getting to know her.  is this a sign of things to come?  i don't know, and i'm not thinking too much about it.  hey, i'm just hitching on a free ride with nothing to lose.  as i've said, i'm not expecting anything from what i have with her now.  to quote a colleague when i talked about my cancelled plans of seriously persuing her, "i'm no longer on edsa, but on the service road," or something like that.  but it's all good.  i was watching mighty ducks 3 on cable yesterday afternoon and one line from that movie summed up everything i need to do about her:  "don't be careless, yet not too careful either.  if you see a shot, take it.  don't hesitate."

***rant mode:  on***

there are times when a certain something hits a designated point, everything (well, nearly) is thrown in disarray.  i mean, it is absolutely dumbfounding when you try to go with the flow and follow what has been the norm, even if you have proven it doesn't work, only to end up with your face flat on the ground and the back of your mind just screams at you with the i told you so speech.  what's worse is that what's going to hit you is already streamrolling in front of you just as you're starting to move forward, and before you get any traction going… boom!  never knew what hit you.

yes, this involves the female gender.  time and again i have proven how courtship doesn't work, or leads to an unreal relationship because the guy just brings out his best attitude and qualities as a person.  it doesn't feel natural to me ever since and i don't see it being the be all and end all of how a relationship starts.  i'd rather start out with me and the girl as friends because at least, you show your true self.  no pretentions, no hang-ups.  in the long run, you'll accept each other for who and what you are, shortcomings and all, and not the different sides of you sprouting like mushrooms after a thunderstorm when you're already together.

take this as an example:  i met this girl at work through a colleague.  i have noticed her even before we met, and yes, she's attractive and seems like a nice person.  one thing about me is that most of the time, i get intimidated around attractive and beautiful women.  in passing told colleagues about this girl and they advised me to give it a shot and try to court her.  naturally, i told them that she won't fancy me as such and that a woman like her has to have someone special in her life.  when we found out that she doesn't, their prodding stepped up.  eventually, we were introduced and one of my colleagues even tried to set us up for a date.  while a date seemed an ok idea, the back of my mind keeps telling me, "a date?  you don't even know her yet, so why go out on a date so soon?  shouldn't you try getting to know her first, without the date?"  it was logical to me, yes.  all first dates end up defining what comes next anyway, so i held back on that one.

still, my colleagues kept teasing me whenever she comes to work (her work area is right beside mine).  gamely, she shoots back, throwing a couple of hints about what she wants to have, like coffee from gloria jeans, and jokingly saying that she'll have half of my monthly earnings in order for us to be together.  i took everything in stride and just laughed it out.  this went on on a daily basis and after some time, one of my colleagues told me to make true on what she said and surprise her by bringing her coffee just as she comes in for work.  seeing nothing wrong with that, i did so a couple of weeks ago.  i bought her a cremé bruleé from gloria jeans, just as she wanted.  problem was, i didn't know if she wanted it hot or cold.  naturally, since she was starting her day, i decided to get the hot one.  upon giving it to her, she was surprised, at the same time thankful that she finally got one from me.  upon giving it to her, she then tells me, "so now, are you officially courting me?"  to which i just replied with a laugh.  after a couple of minutes, she then makes passing remarks that she doesn't take her coffee hot, but cold.  i was, "like you specifically told me what you wanted,"  to myself.  but in any case, i let it pass by and apologized to her and promising to make it up to her next time.

a couple of days later, i made good on my promise.  i bought her exactly what she wanted, to her delight.  she then asks me the same question as before, to which i replied with the same reply i gave her.  on that same day, i ran into her at the pantry and asked her how her coffee was.  she thanked me again for it, and then started running by me a schedule as to what days i should give her coffee.  i told myself, "when did that happen?"  i then jokingly told her that right, so there is a schedule.  and since then, during those days she mentioned, she hollers over to me and asks, "where is my coffee?" i'm not that stupid to bring her coffee as per her schedule not knowing what will come next.  she then starts the cold treatment at me at times.  i mean, i don't even know her that well yet enough to make a serious bid whether to pursue a relationship with her or not.

right now, i decided to stop pursuing her.  it's useless, i guess because if she's that way right now, what will she be like if i continued on?  i mean, we still talk and all, but as far as courting her is concerned, the buck stops here.  and don't tell me that crap about having to prove myself despite everything she throws at me.  i mean, why should it be that way?  why should women make false pretenses to guys who like them?  i once received a text message that read, "why do women want to be courted to be loved forever?  should it be, 'love me now and i'll court you forever?'"  now that completely makes sense to me.  the world would have less divorces, less love quarrels and less break-ups if that were the norm.

hey, it's the middle of the week.  forgive me, i'm just in a ranting mood today.  😦

***rant mode:  off***

it's barely a month–if i'm not mistaken–before the elections take place for local and senatorial seats.  while all the brouhaha and noise of the campaign trail resumes after the holy week, and survey results left and right come about, i'm guessing there is still a bloc of the voting population who are still undecided as to who to vote.  as for me, well, i do have a draftlist of candidates who will get my vote.  it's not yet complete, but between now and election day, it'll help me study closely who to fill in on those blanks.  what i do have for sure, are the prominent people (i don't call them candidates because, well, i don't see them as such) who absolutely won't be getting my vote.  and i do hope to spread the word in some small way through this entry for those out there who are thinking of writing the following names on their ballots not to do so.  don't worry, i'll explain why.  so please, do not vote for the following people who are mad in thinking that they can do something good in the philippine senate:

1.  richard gomez and cesar montano – these are a few examples of celebrity status gone to their heads.  only in the philippines do celebrities have ambitions of being in public office.  i mean, honestly, are these two even qualified–and by god i do mean qualified–to make and enact laws based on what they know?  just because they're "popular," they think that they can get away with a win?  for goodness sakes, please, let's not make a joke out of our senate institution by electing these two.  let them do good where they're good at, and that's acting.  actually,  that's already saying too much.

2.  alan peter cayetano – all he's doing is lambast first gentleman mike arroyo and his alleged ill-gotten wealth and swiss bank accounts.  i am by no means an avid fan of the first gentleman, but this senate-hopeful doesn't have a solid platform to run on.  what, when he gets elected, he'll take his allegations to the first gentlemen to the next level?  address issues, not just lobby charges, idiot.

3.  prospero pichay – this guy had a good thing going when the campaign period started.  but what made me change my mind about finally not voting for him is his campaign posters sprawled all over the place, especially along the route i use going to and from work.  doesn't that constitute grounds for disqualification, his posters not on comelec-designated common poster areas?  i mean, i know some other candidates have posters outside of those areas, but not like the numbers this guy has.  plus, i came to realize that his initial slogan, translated to:  "my dream is to make your dreams come true," is plain, outright stupid.  sir, i have a dream of having my own condo unit and my own souped-up mazda6.  can you give that to me when you get elected?  i don't think so!  plus there is news that he allegedly campaigned during the holy week, which is a no-no.  that just adds icing to the cake.

4.  gringo honasan and antonio trillanes – a good example of guys undergoing identity crisis.  the only reason that they're running is that when they win, all the charges against them will surely be dropped.  just because gringo was out of the senate doesn't mean he can do what he wants and cause unrest among the military and then run back to the senate when he can't stand the heat again?  this guy is outta whack.  and just because trillanes rose to infamy through the oakwood mutiny doesn't mean he'll get a sympathy vote for his views.

5.  tessie aquino-oreta – she may have switched sides, but her tv ad wherein she answered–in tears, or was is acting?–the question as to why she did the "dancing queen" routine during the impeachment trial, made me absolutely sick.  i almost kicked the living shit out of my tv when i first saw that ad.  you don't have to overact, just answer the question, plain and simple.  some people may fall for her act, but not everyone buys her story.

6.  loren legarda – it's sad, at the same time a pity, that she was left off my list.  i was actually thinking twice about voting her, but seeing her actions after she lost the vice-presidential race, plus the fact that she jumped ship after being a staunch advocate of the administration before the national elections took place back in 2004 and sided with the opposition, sealed the deal.  for me, she lost her credibility, one that she painstakingly built back when she was a journalist, and to see her cry over spilled milk lowered my respect for her.  she may be leading in the surveys, but she won't definitely get my vote.

7.  john osmeña – he's (or is it she?) using his family's legacy in government service in his bid to be brought back to the senate, which i think is a mistake.  well, mistake on his part.  his relatives have done very significant and important things in government service.  what has he done?  what he's doing is ruining his family's name, so he better just stand aside and let the real men and women do the work.

8.  aquilino "koko" pimintel iii – there's already a parent-offspring tandem in the senate, let's not have another one, shall we?

9.  sonia roco – i know and understand that she has good intentions and all, but she's nowhere near the stature as her late husband has in terms of accomplishments, plus the fact that she never held any public office before, so what makes me think she's qualified for being a senator of the land?  it's a pity she was dragged into the dirty world of politics when her late husband has done so much preserving their name from intrigue and political misrepresentation.

so far, these are the names that are sure not to end up on my ballot.  there is also a list of candidates in my watchlist, meaning those i'm not sure of voting, but may go either way once election day nears.  as usual, comments are welcome.  i'll let my picks be known a couple of days before the elections.  until then, i urge everyone to look at each candidate and see what he or she can really bring to the table in terms of the country's progress, and not continue the mudslinging once they get there.  it's time we learned our lesson.  it's a cliché, but i do hope we all vote wisely.