i was going down memory lane and reading through some past entries when i came across this one from march of last year.  the very significant and unforgettable thing about this entry is that i got a lot of calls a couple of hours to several days after posting it from friends and former colleagues who have read it asking if there is something wrong with me or if i'm physically and medically ok.  i actually didn't expect those gestures and was surprised at the effect that entry had on them since the entry never mentioned me specifically.  i sounded like a broken record to everyone who called, saying that "i'm really ok and don't worry, there's nothing wrong with me.  really."  but i was and still am thankful for the kind words about the effect i had on their lives and how significant my friendship is with them.  so, for the new and old readers alike who don't have the time to backread, i'm re-posting that particular entry, which i could say, is one of the most personal entries on my blog that best shows how imaginative a person such as me can be.  hope you enjoy it.

it was a bright and sunny thursday afternoon when he stepped out of the building, wondering what to do next.  his meeting had gone well, much as he expected.  he thought of calling her to break the news, but he's still hesitant to do so.  he has asked her out several times before, but was always turned down.  he never knew what the real reasons were, or if there are any at all.  but it wasn't always like that.  after they had met, they were inseparable; him sacrificing his rest from work in order to be with her, and her bailing out on friends' birthday parties and gatherings just to be with him.  but things went downhill after he had told her what he felt.  after all, she still has a boyfriend of three or so years and she still loves him even though he was working out of the country and it is pretty much a long distance relationship.  but since that fateful day, things have been different.  and yet even if he felt like the whole world crashed on him, he put it all in stride, continued to love her in silence as they went in different directions.  he became succesful in his career, and transferred to a better company a few months ago.  on the other hand she finally got a job in the same field as he, but in a different company.  although they still talked to each other, they were few and far in between.

deciding to take a chance, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his mobile phone.  "at least i tried," he said to himself as he dialed her number.  he thought of sending a text message first, but given the situation, he would rather hear it straight from her and not wait for a reply via sms.  her phone rang.  there was no answer.  he dialed again and got the same result.  disappointed, he put down the phone and walked to the car.  just as he got in, another round of headaches started kicking in.  these have become frequent during the last few weeks, that at one time he felt going blind.  though on this episode, the attacks died down after only a couple of seconds.  as he tried to recompose himself, the conversation from his appointment kept running through his head like a tape recorder playing again and again.  though he couldn't believe what he was told, at the back of his mind several months ago, he had prepared for this scenario.  he had also thought to himself back then that "it would be one storybook ending, and a hell of a way to go with the things i've been through; just as i pictured it to be."

his nervousness and anxiety kept building as he drove towards her place, but the chance of seeing her again made him more excited.  as he parked the car in front of her house, he sent a message to her, saying that he's already there.  "two minutes," came the swift reply.  keeping the engine running, he stepped out of the car and leaned at the rear passenger door, like a groom ready to receive her bride.  as she stepped out, his face brightened.  she never looked more beautiful.  in fact, that was what he told to himself the last time they were together.  yet everytime he sees her, she grows more and more stunning.  she greeted him with a kiss on the cheek and a hug.  "hey there," she said as her arms went around him.  surprised by the gesture, he hugged her back.  as he looked at her face, he noticed that her eyes were a bit swelled up.  "you ok?" he asked.  "you look like you didn't sleep much."  "yeah, had some things to do," she replied back.  "but i'm ok.  let's go, i'm kinda hungry already."

"what's wrong?"  he asked, concerned about what she was feeling seeing that her face was serious and there were signs of tears filling her eyes.  breaking the silence, she said, "we broke up today.  he called me up at home and admitted that he's seeing someone for six months now and has fallen for her."  a solitary tear ran down her cheek
as he went over to where she was seated and hugged her.  "all this time, i have been loyal to him, loved him, and now this?" she said in between sobs.  "even though there were other guys coming up to me and trying to court me, i turn them away because i was in a relationship.  why did he do this to me?"  at that point, she was already breaking down.  he just continued to hug her and whispered, "it's not your fault.  you were good to him.  you were every bit the kind of girlfriend a guy can ever ask for to him.  you did what thought was right.  i'm so sorry this happened."  by then, he felt that this wasn't about him or what he's gonna tell her.  it was now about this woman, who, even though she took advantage of his kindness, endured the drastic changes that happened after professing his feelings for her, made promises to him that were never realized, and even owed him money, but he still loves dearly.  her sobbing started to die down and continued on telling him what happened.  "that was the time you were trying to call me on my mobile phone.  so now you know why i didn't answer it."  realizing what happened, he quickly apologized for calling at a very bad time.  "it's ok.  i was even glad that when i saw my phone, there were two missed calls coming from you.  'twas kinda like a sign or somethin'.  i guess it's fate's way of us telling us to be together tonight," she said.  her hug was still firm.  she then let go, looked at him with a smile amidst tears still falling from here eyes and said, "but that's over now.  i have cried about it long enough after that.  the thing is, i'll always have you.  you were always there for me even though i treated you horribly, i took you for granted, but i realize now that it was you all along.  i still have you, right?"

"yes, i'll always be here," he said as his thoughts then shifted to wondering if he's still going to tell her what happened to him earlier that day.  she leaned on his shoulder after hearing his reply, and breathed a sigh of relief.  suddenly, she then asked, "you said that you wanted to talk to me about something?  what is it?"

it's been a while since i had this particular segment on my blog.  as i recall (and did a little research), it was sometime last year when i had volume 2 posted.  and it was on my old blog where i last posted it.  since i don't have a single topic to talk about, i guess this is just the right time to continue this segment.

 ***my brother upgraded his mobile phone from a nokia N70 to a sony ericsson P990i this past friday.  he had already told me about doing this around two weeks ago after learning that the price of a brand new unit had gone down to around 12k.  i was actually quite shocked at the price it had gone down to since i always thought that sony ericsson phones depreciate much lesser than nokia phones.  i had a chance to examine the phone and it's features and i would say that it may take some time to get used to the navigation since it's not as user-friendly as nokia phones, plus we've been used to nokia phone models so going through the user manual will be a must.  yet i'm impressed with its features and the stuff it can do, plus it acts like a PDA-phone.  made me think of switching as well, but it's kinda weird if i'll be going for the same model.  the main thing that made me seriously consider the idea was the price.  i mean seriously, where can you get a semi-high-end mobile phone for 12k these days?  it's newer model, the P1i, though it's much advanced in features, is not cooler-looking as it's predecessor.  plus it's still pricey.  and the P990i is somewhat of a clam-shell phone, and ever since my nokia 7200 phone, i have taken a fancy for clam-shell type phones.  but the thought is still seriously being considered, and if ever i'll do the switch, it'll be sometime during the christmas season… when i have enough money, of course.

 ***i have started compiling my christmas list.  specifically of people that i should be giving gifts to.  the partial list includes two siblings and six godchildren.  as for the friends and colleagues part, well, it's still up for consideration as to who will be part of the list.  i'd like to give gifts to as much friends and colleagues as i can, but with limited shopping time this year (compared to last year when i still have a couple of leave credits to spare to be used for shopping), i'm afraid i'll have to shorten that list to fit my free time.  but nonetheless, it's still my favorite time of the year and it's the only time when i'm feeling mostly good about everything, so who knows?  maybe this time though, i can finally have something bought for myself.  hopefully.

 ***the countdown to my much dreaded trip to the US has finally begun.  i'm set to leave on november 16, a thursday, and spend a week there.  still not sure where we'll be staying though, as my itenerary is still indefinite, but most probably it'll be with either friends or relatives.  it's also still unsure if i'll be spending thanksgiving there since i have to be back home by saturday morning of the following week due to having work that night.  most people are asking why am i only taking a week's vacation there since airfare is quite expensive.  well, for one, i only have limited leave credits remaining, with what's left plotted during the christmas and new year's celebrations which i won't be giving up for anything, even if it means extending my US trip that i don't even want in the first place.  and even though i'm trying my hardest to be positive about it, with my brother and sister telling me that it's an opportunity to buy some stuff i want there which i think is insane since things are much more expensive there plus having only a limited amount of pocket money, most that comes to mind is money being spent uselessly.  although i do have to admit that there are some things there that i want to buy, i guess it's just a matter of prioritizing what to get.  i could just see those peso and dollar signs with wings flying away…

***and lastly, while i was channel surfing yesterday afternoon while trying to get some sleep, i chanced upon one of the local channels featuring KC concepcion's mini-documentary of her four-year stay in paris, france while attending college.  again, let me just reiterate that i'm no fan of local showbiz, but seriously, this girl is drop dead gorgeous.  i watched the program in its entirety and just marveled at this girl's all-natural beauty.  i could just imagine how french guys would go crazy over her.  i just hope she doesn't end up like most other local showbiz celebrities, where success equals arrogance.  come to think of it, i think she'd be more successful in the modeling business than acting.  i can't quite picture her starring in a predictable-storywise local film.  it'll be just a waste of time, talent, and beauty.  anyways, i came across her webpage a couple of weeks ago and it's a good read with lots and lots of pictures.

oh well, another work week ahead of me.  hope everyone enjoys the rest of the weekend.

i got this from jabi and it's quite interesting how names have meanings.  since i have two first names (and the combination of both) plus one nickname, i decided to look up all of them.  results are displayed below.  tell me whether you agree with them or not, or if they have some truth to it or not.

mark anthony

Having great personal charisma you attract many admirers and are usually surrounded by friends and loved ones. You are very much a people person enjoying conversation and much social activity. A natural leader and gifted in communication you may be drawn toward the fields of writing, speaking or public life. You are a person who needs freedom to move and a constructive outlet for your creative ideas.

mark

Warrior "Latin"

You are a charismatic individual with a dynamic and attractive personality. Probably not known for your caution or patience you are a risk taker who hates to be restricted in any way. Freedom is very important to you. Your thinking and intuition is strong and you have a talent for communication. You enjoy the sensual and material pleasures of life and with the application of care and wisdom you can achieve wonderful worldly success.

anthony

Praiseworthy, or priceless "Latin"

Honest, dependable and practical you tend to have a fairly conservative but determined approach to life. Your intelligence and wisdom means that you are sought out for guidance and advice. Gifted in communication you are philosophical and intuitive and are usually a traveller both mentally and physically. People respect you for your patience, discretion and integrity.

markie

Versatile, intelligent and artistically talented. You love to enjoy yourself and tend to experience a happy domestic life and material success. You have a methodical and thorough mind and are able to organise large projects easily. Charming and likeable and with more than your share of sex appeal you tend to find yourself in the spotlight and much admired by others. Life is more fun with you around.

hmmm…. i have sex appeal??  that's a new one on me… 😀

as mentioned on the closing part of my last entry, manny pacquiao again took to the world stage and showed he is the top dog in his division.  and while the whole nation was united–even for just a couple of hours–amidst a scandal-weary, violence-marred, insult-thrown society, another tragedy occured.  this time, it was not behind the pacquiao-chanting public while the fight was in progress, but right under their noses.  i'm referring to the robbery done by the advertisers and the local network that aired the fight "live via satellite."

while it was a given that a mega-buck fight such as the pacquiao-barrera tussle part two would have local advertisers literally have peso signs as eyeballs, nothing as preposterous and unheard of happened at yesterday's telecast.  compared to pacquiao's previous fights where all is said and done at around 1:30-2:00PM local time and everyone is already going back to their normal lives (mind you, those telecasts were already loaded with 10-minute commercials of hog and rooster feeds and dewormers, paints and roof sealants in-between rounds, most of which only get to be shown during boxing matches for reasons that i couldn't fathom why), yesterday's event lasted until 4PM!  okay, it is also given that the match went the whole 12 rounds–a rarity in pacquiao fights–even so, the network that carried the telecast should've known better than to salivate with revenue from advertisers and could've shorten the in-between rounds of shoving images of piglets and leaky rooftops down our throats and just show the damn fight!  for god's sakes, i even received a breaking news through sms from a major newspaper about who won the fight and how it was won even before the singing of the national anthems on the telecast!  and while i elected to stay up and still watch the fight after coming from work even after reading the sms alert, i felt very sleepy towards round seven and lost my enthusiasm and instead was overcome with relief when the split decision was announced.  heck, the chinese formula one grand prix aired on star sports that started live at 1PM even ended ahead of the pacquiao fight!  what kind of bullshit telecast were we given?!

if you think i'm alone in what i views, you're dead wrong.  thousands of our countrymen also felt robbed by those greedy network and advertising slobs (and they have the nerve to call themselves executives).  while i understand the need to make money, it shouldn't be at the expense of a nation reeling from being insulted and degraded by US TV shows (of all places, although which i don't agree with the majority's sentiments), and is hungry for being one with the crowd inside the mandalay bay cheering with every punch our fighting champion landed on his opponent.  at least once in very, very  few instances, why could'nt be something as big an event such as this be brought to the simple households with minimal advertisements?  and why do networks lock or ban cable operators from broadcasting the fight on another cable channel that shows the same fight to other countries in real time?  what gives them the right to hold cable tv subscribers hostage by forcing them to watch the local telecast on free tv?  this kind of thinking is absolutely greedy and self-serving.

while we can't change the mindset of those gluttonous advertiser-slobs (thank god i'm not in that field), an appeal to change can be made to the network itself.  so to GMA 7, first and foremost, your telecast of the fight yesterday was the worst–if not one of the worst–telecasts you've ever made.  you say you're the number one network in the country that provides the best programming and service to our countrymen, and yet in the event yesterday, you only thought of yourselves and succumbed to the piles and piles of money given to you by the adveritisers.  in the face of "insults" and "racial slurs" made by US TV programs and networks, you yourselves committed the greatest insult by denying the filipino people in our own homeland their right to join other filipinos around the globe in watching national pride being displayed to the world.  you should be ashamed of yourselves and should be the one issuing a public apology to the entire country for this dastardly act.  an exercise in discretion in favor of the viewing public by cutting commerial time was the simplest thing you could've done in the face of pressure from your so-called "loyal" advertisers.  hopefully, this would be the first and last such mistake you would ever make should you ever be assigned to carry more of manny pacquiao's prized bouts in the future.  and the same goes to all networks wanting a piece of the pie, so to speak.  remember that without the viewing public, your institution wouldn't be where it should be.

'nuff said.  now it's back to our normal lives, and i'm back to hating manny pacquiao doing the kind of stuff he's doing outside the boxing ring. i was openly offering wagers to some people at the office yesterday with me siding with barrera, but there were no takers.  although i know pacquiao would win, i was hoping for a barrera upset to make him go back to earth.  oh well, i guess whether he wins or loses, he still has ara mina to bang when he comes home.  lucky bastard…

this past week, news of how filipinos around the world were insulted and degraded by two US TV shows were the talk of the town.  from desperate housewives' comment on the quality of the country's medical education, to the daily show with jon stewart's take on past women leaders–the philippines included, of course–filipinos around the world reacted to it.  and while almost the entire nation cries foul over these two events ahead of another filipino stepping to world prominence in the sport of boxing, i for one do not totally agree with the majority's sentiments over what transpired.  i may be late in my reactions through this entry, but i did what most did not take time to do:  analyze.  but before any of you brand me a traitor or unpatriotic, let me explain my side.

on the desperate housewives' scene where teri hatcher's character asked to check first on the doctor's medical records to see that the diplomas didn't come from a medical school in the philippines, i didn't find any insult to any specific filipino medical professional in the US.  one, her character didn't specifically mention filipino doctors or nurses on the particular scene.  and two, the doctor character himself is a full-blooded american, most likely coming from a US med school.  now, the assumption of miss hatcher's character of the doctor character that he came from a med school in the philippines, now that was an insult to the medical institutions in the country.  but again, not to any specific medical professional making a living in the US.  that i took offense to.  our med schools produce one of the finest medical professionals in the world today and are honored in respected in their chosen fields.  so to say that filipinos were insulted was, well ok, there was a little validity in it, but the bulk of the degrading remark was aimed at our medical institutions.  the reason most probably, is the not too recent nursing exam scandal that sent shockwaves throughout the world.  i mean, we should admit even to ourselves that that particular fiasco was enough for hospitals everywhere to second guess how med schools are being run here.  and while we filipinos have already gotten past that issue and be our usual selves and just put a smile on our faces because that is over and done with, mind you, the rest of the world does not behave the way we do.  while the sad truth is that some people in the US still think that our med schools produce cheaters, what we should've done in addition to the negative reaction to that particular scene was to inform them that the scandal has been taken cared of.  now, the TV network that produces the show already issued an apology over the scene.  then why is there still clamor for the show to be banned?  the series is one of the critically-acclaimed shows in the US, and this little incident won't be enough to phase it out, believe me.  and there's also a clamor for miss hatcher herself to issue the apology?  how could she have a hand in this?  she was just following a script, for god's sakes!  so now every TV or movie star should be conscious of what the script says for fear of stepping on someone else's toes?  we're in the real world.  let's face it, not everyone knows what's going around other countries.  so for me, the apology issued by the network is enough.  we shouldn't issue any more diplomatic prostests concerning that mistake.  this is one clear cut case of over-reacting.

on the case of the daily show with jon stewart's labeling of slut to former president cory aquino, now that isn't even an issue.  one, the show itself is a political satire/comedy aimed at political events.  naturally, it will take potshots at politics and politicians.  that's the nature of the show.  two, did you even hear the same reactions from the other women leaders' countrymen who were in that scene?  they weren't specifically labeled as sluts, but just the same, it was a shot at them, with former prime minister margaret thatcher having a compromising photograph.  so, what's the fuss all about here?  the entire scene was meant to be a joke about how the US may or may not be ready for a woman president with the candidacy of hillary clinton, that's it.  there is no serious remark or insult whatsoever to any of those personalities.  what surprised me was kris aquino's (daughter of cory aquino) reaction to it, saying that what if we label former US presidents as "callboys" or male prostitutes.  now here's someone who i thought is up to date with what's going on in the US more than what's going on here, and someone who had brains.  really.  doesn't she watch david letterman or jay leno take shots at president george w. bush on a nightly basis on their shows?  they make jokes about him being a dumb president, the crowd laughs and the leader of the free world doesn't lift a finger about it.  why?  because it's a joke.  J-O-K-E.  plain and simple.  yes, kris is just coming to the defense of her mother.  but again, it's a non-issue.  it doesn't hurt to laugh at ourselves sometimes, you know.  heck, we even made tons and tons of jokes about former president joseph estrada, right?  and what did he do?  nothing!!  the whole world knows cory aquino's real reputation and what she has done.  this segment wouldn't change that one bit.  when i saw how the report was made about it in our local news programs, i just shook my head in disbelief.  at least willie nepumoceno did the same thing i did:  watch the entire segment and saw that it wasn't an insult to anyone.  no apology is necessary from comedy central.  i wouldn't demand for it in any way.  because this, meanwhile, is a clear cut case of mis-reacting.

now don't get me wrong, i'm proud to be filipino.  i really am.  but the problem with most of us is that we don't see the bigger picture.  we rely or see and hear solely on what is put in front of us.  we don't find out or even think why things are going the way they are.  and these two are very good examples of such.  we can't just go ballistic when someone plays a joke on a former politician or a network television program airs a scene based on true negative events.  yet i'm also not saying that we just bow our heads all the time.  we must learn how to analyze things that are being said or potrayed before making a fuss.  though not everything that can be displayed is pleasing to the eyes or ears, but we must know how to distinguish true fact from plain fiction.

as i have mentioned earlier, another filipino is taking the world stage today.  although i do not like what manny pacquiao is doing outside the boxing ring, i respect and i'm proud of what he does inside it.  yup, he's an odds-on favorite to win the fight.  but i'm betting on barrera to score an upset…