before another work week takes me far away from my medium of solace, i would like to dedicate this entry to the people who, in every which way possible, greeted me on my 32nd year of existence on this earth.  though i have already replied to them directly, i would still want to pay homage and honor those who would, in their busy and eventful lives, take the time out to greet lil’ ol’ me on mah birthday yesterday.  these are (in no particular order):

my family:  mom, lei, and patrick – my source of inspiration and my refuge in times of personal and professional stress.  love you all!

mommy jing – a former colleage who greeted me in advance this past tuesday.  i miss your cassava cakes!!

jessica "kim" tirado – the first person who greeted me at exactly 12 midnight as i was about to turn off my pc.  i really appreciate that this year, you were the first one to greet me.

raschelle esturas – one of my current colleagues who will also celebrate her birthday this week.  advanced greetings to you!

marianne grace garcia – also one of my current colleagues at wor.  yep, i owe you a venti white mocha frappuccino which you’ll get this week!

my cousins:  lynette, zaren, aileen, chey, arnel, debbie, malen, ryan, arnel, ian, yokie, dani, treck, faye, and matt – who were also my guests at my family party last night.  i can’t thank you enough for you being family.  to treck, faye, and matt, hope you arrive back in UK safely.  all of your relatives here will miss you!

my uncles and aunts:  uncle nards and fermin, and aunts linda and letty – thanks for the food contributions and for your presence last night as well!

noel lopez – my tag team partner at the office… thank you sir! 

jennifer crisostomo – my batchmate at my former employer who only greeted me after giving hints as to what occasion it was!  hahahahaha!  miss you girl!

trina ward – a former colleague and a close friend.  i miss our talking sessions!

susan batac – also one of my current colleagues at work… thanks for all your help and support

ann mundo – an rx-lister who i rarely, rarely see, but still remembers to greet me on my birthday every year. hope to see you soon!

lisa sulat – i’m sorry, i don’t know what your married name is… but a big, big thanks that you still remembered me on my birthday, even though you’re way down there…

liezl cañoneo – who i also don’t remember what your married name is… hope we could also see each other soon…

melanie anne solisa – one of my one-downs.  thanks for your continued help and support at work.

casie jen casallos – who i also don’t know what married name you carry… i’m now admitting that this is my former agent who i fell in love with.  it doesn’t matter, she doesn’t like me more than a friend, period… even if history repeats itself.  thanks for the chat we had on the short time i went online on my birthday.  really appreciate it.  take care.

mela ravelas – one of my former agents and a close friend…. thanks for everything…

rachelle canlas – a former co-worker and friend who greeted me this afternoon.  it’s quite late, but it’s still appreciated.

jabi rodriguez – who i was chatting with while i was posting this.  i’m sorry i forgot to include your name, but i’m making it up for it now, right?  thanks for being a friend who always listens whenever i have something to say…

al alvero – dada al to the rx-talk mailing list.  thanks for remembering… doesn’t matter whether it was late, but you still remembered.  thanks!

that’s it.  thanks to all of you listed above for greeting me and making my birthday a little bit more special.  i wish you all the very best and a lot, lot more.   you’re all a class act.

hope everyone has a good week ahead!  😀

it’s been…. that long since i last posted.  and a lot of things have happened.  mostly work-related stuff, and some family stuff as well.  my mom came home two weeks ago, my cousin from the UK with his two british kids also arrived two weeks ago and is bound to leave on sunday night, had a family summer outing, watched a live PBA basketball game for the second time, and… oh yes, i’m turning 32 in a couple of hours.

golly…. man, i am getting old…. but before i continue to rant about my age, i’d just want to take this space to thank everyone who gave their comments on my previous entry.  very, very much appreciated.  it’s good to see other people who i don’t personally know chance upon my blog and leave their marks behind.  special mention goes to father jess escala.  who would’ve thought that a priest–a salesian priest at that–would read my blog!   yes father, like you, i’m a very, very proud bosconian!  thank you father for dropping by.  i do hope i get to see you comment regularly on my entries.  you could be my "virtual spiritual counselor!"  hahahaha!!  i always have had a soft spot for salesian priests even though i’m not that religious.  not because i came from a salesian school (well, maybe partly… am i biased or what?), but i always see them wear a smile wherever they go.  plus, they’re easy to talk to.  again, thank you for your comments and support.

now, going back to my age… wait, do i really have to rant about it right now??  some say it’s just a number.  others, a state of mind.  but whatever or however one thinks of it, it’s still a yearly reminder of our journey in the road of life.  yeah, i know it sounds cheesy and all, but it’s the hard truth.   we all get old.  funny how when we were young kids, we wished we were older, and now that we’re older, we wish we were younger.  ain’t life sweet?

plans for my birthday this year?  quite the same as last year.   only this time, the celebration will be coupled with my cousin’s send off party.  just a family affair, like what i have done going three years now.  go to mass in the afternoon, have a dinner party, then get smashed and laced with alcohol until i throw up that last up to the wee hours of the morning with my cousins.  niiiice….. food, family, and booze… a perfect way to welcome the 32nd year of my existence.

birthday wish?  uhm… quick question, does that really come true?  or does it even exist?  i mean, i have wished for almost anything a normal person like me can imagine on my birthday, but none of them even came close to coming true.  from world peace, to the latest gadgets, to getting laid, and to finally having a girlfriend (i guess i wished that the most number of times)…. nothing….. kaput…. so here’s one for this year.  i wish that birthday wishes are real.  how about that?

anyways, it has been a very long work week and i promised myself that i would write an entry when i got home tonight.  so here i am, fulfilling a promise.  short of my mobile phone inbox getting quite busy with incoming birthday message greetings starting at midnight tonight, those will be serving as my gifts for this year.  come to think of it, it’s been a very long time since someone gave me a birthday present.  i guess it comes with the age.  there i go again with the age thing….

i’m turning 32.  older?  definitely.  better?  maybe.  wiser?  probably.   happier?  hmmm… good question.  to which i don’t have a ready answer.  that, i guess is a bad thing…  but blowing 32 candles with one blow on a cake would definitely be a good thing, right?

happy birthday to me…  i’ll be back to posting normally soon… 

rarely do i boil over about something personal, but as the old saying goes, "everything has it’s limits."  now i was a bit surprised myself after taking stock of what happend this past thursday.  i guess it’s just one of those days where you were rubbed the wrong way and hitting back is the most logical thing to do at that time.  a quick history lesson before i recount the details of the little incident:  i met this girl while i was still with my former employer.  she was assigned in one of the sub-departments of the human resources group, mostly processing applicants.  she’s a tall, slim, stunner of a woman, one you wouldn’t miss looking at when you happen to pass her by while walking down a crowded street.  yet before i met her, she had this reputation of being… spoiled, for lack of a better term.  many a men have tried to win her heart, but her second reputation of being playful with the boys around her seem to put her on an "impossible to claim her" category.  maybe it has something to do with her age, her being young and all, but i had this gut feeling that i could get past those.  we have already gone out numerous times, all under her terms.  she would set conditions like, "pick me up at the least crowded part of the building so that no one we know could see us go out," or "i’ll have to finish up some stuff at work, so our lunch date at 12 noon would be moved to 2pm," or "let’s not go there, it’s too popular, someone at the office might see us together…"  get the picture?  plus, she had this habit of asking me to treat (read:  buy) her something from either starbucks or gloria jean’s.  being the guy that i am, i readily obliged and lost count of how many times i would be bringing a cremé bruleé or a frappucino to her desk.  and when we do go out, we would have conversations all about the men in his life and she would ask my opinion on what their intentions are.  this went on until i left the company to where i am now and we would still keep in touch, although not that much anymore… until this past week.

i happened to chance on her friendster profile this past sunday because i saw her new picture taken on a beach in boracay.   i sent her an sms message asking her how she was and that she had a nice picture posted.  the exchange of messages led to me inviting her for dinner on friday night, to which she obliged.  the week went on as usual, work was fast-paced, meetings to attend here and there.  and this past wednesday, my direct line at the office was finally installed.  i sent everyone i knew an sms message bearing my office number, indicating that if any one of them wanted to get in touch with me, can do so at the number i provided.  during a lull in the the things going on in the office, i was checking my emails when the phone rang.  it was her, the very first person to call me on my direct office line.  we chatted for about 15 minutes, talking about from how i got into the company to how things were in her area.  i had to cut the conversation short because of another scheduled meeting i had to attend.

during the way home, she sent me an sms message detailing how her boss was being made a puppet by upper management and said how she wished i was her boss instead.  i replied jokingly that if i were her boss, i would be losing my job in an instant.  she then asked me if i could elaborate on what i said, and i told her my sad experience of falling for someone who is one of my direct reports while i was a team leader.   i described how hard it was since i had to display professionalism at all times and that i didn’t pursue the girl until she eventually left the company which was both a relief and a sad thing, and ending it by telling her that i won’t let that happen again.  our sms conversation then shifted to her asking my help getting her friend and colleague a job where i was.  naturally, i told her that her friend should just apply with the openings our company has, and that her friend shoudl be open to the possibility of being assigned to a bank branch should her qualifications match to the openings needed.  she asked if i could refer her friend, and i told her that her friend can place on the resumé that i referred her.  she then asked me what else i can do to ensure that her friend will make it, adding that i should just take her in.  i replied that i’m not the owner of the company, and that i’m only new in the office, so i don’t have that much influence yet, so i’m in no position to do so and that i can only act as a reference person should HR ask me about her application.  she then asked me if that is all, and i replied that maybe i can make a recommendation, but that is as far as i can go.  she then asked me if i can follow-up her application, and getting a little frustrated with all the things she’s asking me, i replied that i can also do that.  our conversation through sms ended that night by confirming our dinner date on friday night.

on that fateful thursday morning, everything seemed nornal.  i arrived in the office early so had time to spare.  i was on my way back to my desk from the restroom when i received a text message from her.  she said that she was calling me on my office number but i’m not picking up.  i replied that i just got out of the restroom, headed back to my desk and that she can call me again.  she did, and from the start of our conversation, she went on about her asking me that favor for her friend, saying that by helping her friend, i am helping her as well.  i told her exactly what i said in our conversation the night before, that her friend should just indicate my name on the resumé, serving as a referral.  she asked me to make a written recommendation to HR about her friend.  i told her that it’s not possible because written recommendations are not accepted, and that i can only contact one of the HR officers and give them a heads up on her friend’s application.  she then insisted on the written recommendation but i told her again that it’s just not possible.  she then told me that how can she, an HR staff can do something about friends’  applications while i, with a management position, can’t even write a letter of recommendation for an applicant.  i repeatedly told her that it was not possible and that the company does not accept written recommendations.  i was getting increasingly incensed at that point because of her demands.  she then asked where our office was.  i told her that her friend can go to our head office in the ortigas area and submit her application.  she asked me if it was possible for her friend not to go there personally and just have me submit her friend’s resumé.  i told her that her friend can email her resumé to the person in HR who processed my application.  she said that she doesn’t want her friend to go through a phone interview, but i told her that her friend will be contacted to go to the office for a personal interview with HR, and that her friend should be in corporate attire when she goes there.  she asked if it was possible for her friend to come in jeans.  naturally, i told her that it’s not possible since it’s an interview.  she then went back to her demand that i make that recommendation letter and help her friend out and threatened that if i didn’t do so, "i’ll erase you from being my friend just like what you did with your former boss" in the vernacular.  still calm, but already slightly furious, i told her that her friend can either send her resumé via email or just go to the head office as a walk-in applicant.  sensing that she won’t get through with what she’s asking of me, she ended th
e conversation.  ’twas the first time i felt that mad and furious in a long time as i put the phone down.  what happened during the next few minutes was an exchange of sms messages which she started that went like this (already translated):

her:  i don’t know if i’ll be annoyed with you.  i may be a brat, but you’re difficult.

me:  you know what, you always want it your way.  you come up to me with all sorts of demands with conditions as if it’s that easy to do.  i already told you that i’ll help out within my capacity, but that’s not enough for you.  i learned the hard way that i cannot always get what i want.  maybe you should realize that as well.  now, if you don’t like the way i’m trying to help you or your friend out, and that you’re threatening to erase me from your life for not giving you what you want, then go ahead.

her:  well, so everything is out in the open.  okay, if that’s what you want.  good thing, i was able to know you better.  erase my details in your phone as well.

she then texted me the exact message i last sent her, then added something in the end:  "i don’t need this."  i then replied back, saying:

me:  since i met you, i always thought that you’re a reasonable person despite what other people have told me.  i have always, and i mean ALWAYS given you what you wanted, and with this little thing, you’re already mad at me?  isn’t me saying, "i’ll do what i can to help your friend" not enough for you?

she didn’t reply back which was a good thing because i had some work to do the entire day and didn’t want to be distracted by what just happened.  i just vented by sending a text message to my friends about what just happened without exactly revealing the details, or who was involved.  i promised to write an entry on my blog that night, but due to some technical difficulties on the site, it didn’t happen.   i thought that was the end of our "friendship" but while trying to access my blog that night, the sms conversation continued with her saying:

her (exact text message):  there are way too many people who gave their word and none of them was able to keep them.  other people doesn’t know me and if ever, they are far worst than me.

slightly taken aback with the grammar, i replied back:

me:  you might be surprised who those people are who told me things about you (honestly speaking, they were my friends warning me about her), but i didn’t listen to them because i knew then that you were better than what they thought of you.  i still do, as a matter of fact, but i think my judgement is now being clouded by my feelings for you which i now realize–the hard way–that you don’t give a damn about.

her:  if you want to believe them and join them, that’s your choice.  how can you say that you have feelings for me, when in fact, you don’t even know how to adjust even just for me?

i guess with the information i gave you earlier, you would reply like i did:

me:  i did adjust.  numerous times.  you just didn’t see through it.  i never said anything about joining them.  if i did, then we wouldn’t be talking to each other anymore.  you’re pusing people away because you’re afraid to get hurt.  i understand that because i got hurt myself, but i never push people away because they won’t see the real me.

her (exact message):  just be sure that those people whom you talk to about me are not as bad and difficult as i am.  you adjusted numerous times?  when?  i push people because i don’t know who to trust anymore.

me:  so i guess that means you don’t trust me as well after all the honesty i have shown you all this time, and all that i have done to make you see that i’m different from the other guys.  i don’t need to elaborate what adjustments i made for you.  you know what they are.

with all that i said, she replied with just this:

her (exact message):  honestly, you have to elaborate the adjustments you made for me.

frustrated and exasperated, i replied back:

me:  sorry, i’m not the kind of guy who keeps records of things or adjustments i do for women i care about or have feelings for.  if i did, then that means i’m not being sincere in what i do for them, or that i’m expecting something in return.  it’s not about the quantity of the things one guy does for a girl, but for what reason and how it’s being done.

and just like that, our conversation–maybe even our communication–ended.  it was unfortunate, yes, but at the same time, it made me realize that women like that don’t deserve to be treated in the way i have treated her while we were steadily going out.  i admit, that was a harsh statement to make, but after all the things i’ve been through with my personal life, i’m slowly learning to look after myself sometimes.  as i’ve said earlier, i was quite surprised with the things i’ve done in this particular situation.  i guess i could sum it up with an analogy i came up with just now.  all of us have shit.  good shit, bad shit.  on a hot, summer day like this, a electric fan is one thing that can keep you cool.  you then decide to play with some shit.  you throw it at the fan, and it bounces back, right smack in your face.  what am i saying?  be careful with the shit you throw at.  some of them might actually hit back at you.  and hit back at you that hard.

ever since last week, my schedule at work has been busy to say the least.  i was thrust into the thick of things by attending meetings here and there, both in the confines of my office or at other sites.  i was introduced to the different people i’ll be constantly talking and working with, not to mention the different areas i’ll be handling.  yup, you read it right.  areas.  well, they’re worded as such because even though they’re under the same department and perform the same functions, they’re basically physically apart from each other.  and when i mean physically apart, i do mean exactly that.  you see, before i got here, the company already has one in-house call center and three outsourced centers.  and i’m the lucky bastard who’ll be handling the three outsourced ones.  one located in makati, another one in libis, and the third one in ortigas.  also last week, i got to visit the makati site, met with their management team and laid out the plans i wanted to see and happen based on their current performance.  i mentioned on a previous entry that my boss has given me full authority to tweak or make changes to how operations are being run on all three sites and i’m doing exactly that.  i’m making changes not because my current boss wants me to, unlike my previous boss who just makes decisions just because his boss says so, but based on how i think the organization has to be run using the experiences i have had working with two outsourcing centers and one in-house center.  on thursday, i’ll be meeting with the center in ortigas and will do the same thing.  if i see something that can be used as an opportunity to improve, i won’t hesitate to let it be known.  after all, i’m now representing their client.

if you think my work sounds easy, i’m telling you right now, it ain’t.  being in different places two or three times a day is no picnic.  even though i have a car and driver sponsored by the company at my disposal, going to and from a certain destination in manila traffic is hardly a walk in the park.  not to mention having a different mindset in each of the different areas i’m handling can get confusing at times.  but i’m not complaining.  with the support being thrown behind me and every company resource at my disposal, this is one job i’m really happy to be having.

it’s also nice living the normal life after working graveyard for the past seven years.  long holiday weekends will now be the norm for me, and this past weekend was just one of them.  our department’s summer outing was held two days ago at club manila east and i had a blast getting to know the people i’m working with outside the office.  i got myself a tan (would you believe according to my colleagues, it suits me nicely) from swimming and both my shoulders are still a little sore with sunburn.  i took very few pictures with the camera i brought along, but good thing my colleagues went picture crazy and i’m still waiting for the pictures to be uploaded and sent to me at the office (did i mention that flash drives are allowed at the office as well as mobile phones?  a far cry from the security paranoia of my previous companies).  expect those to be posted on my friendster account soon.

well, that wraps up my update for this entry.  i have another meeting tomorrow morning with some head honchos of the different support groups of my department.   for those wanting to get in touch with me at my office, a little more patience please.  the phone lines at my station are not yet working.  but once they’re up, i’ll be requesting the supply of my business cards and i’ll be handing them out once those are done.  the next long weekend will be in three weeks time and how i’m looking forward to that!  enjoy the rest of the week!

the one thing i don’t feel comfortable with in starting a new job is the awkwardness of trying to feel my way around new people, obviously because i have already established relationships with my former colleagues and peers and it took some time for that to happen.  to be thrust into a new and uncharted environment is something that i don’t really dread, but it gives me that feeling of "here we go again," and trying to project the best image possible around people who, i just realized, are maybe doing and feeling the exact same thing.

one thing i am thankful for though is i was going into the new job with a former colleague.  from the same department at that, going to the same department as well.  so on holy monday, i started my four-day orientation with the new company i’ll be working for.  naturally, chille (my former collague) and i were seated together in the conference room since we were about the only two people out of two hundred plus new hires who knew each other, much less came from the same former employers.  the four-day orientation was a typical one, with different topics discussed each day such as the company’s history, products, policies, security (which was the most hilarious topic because i noticed that when this topic is up in any company orientation, a certain ex-military or ex-policeman turned security chief with a heavy provincial accent always gives the talk with audiences laughing their asses off whenever the speaker mentions an english word or phrase bearing that heavy provincial accent with the speaker having no idea why–get my drift?), corporate image, and compensation among others.  there were topics that had the whole class in one room, and there were others wherein rank & file staff and officers were in separate rooms.  chille and i didn’t mingle that much, as we realized that we were the only two people assigned to the department we’re headed to, basing on the attendance sheets we sign everyday.  but still, we had some casual conversations with the other officers and talked about both their and our experiences with our former employers.  the fourth day of the orientation resumed on monday after the holy week then we were formally endorsed to our respective units.  imagine that, just starting with the company, then three days into being formally an employee, i took my first holiday vacation!

i have always believed that in everything that is new, don’t expect anything.  yet i guess each one of us has that feeling of what’s going to be like whenever we start our first full day of work.  yet with all the things going through my mind while feeling a bit nervous as i was walking towards the front door of the office, it was all suddenly turned upside down as my boss’ secretary rushed out to greet me upon learning that i was already outside.  i was warmly welcomed and showed into the office premises on the way to a training room where the operations orientation will be held.  i felt as if the world came to a standstill as i felt employees’ eyes all gazed at me as i walked through the hallway.  i tried my best not to blush and be as normal as i can be as i continued to walk towards the stairs and up towards the training room.  at that point, i noticed that my boss’ secretary kept referring to me as "sir" which i’m not used to, coming from a casual organization such as a US based call center.  being polite, i just kept silent as she explained that my boss is out on vacation leave for the entire week and has left her in charge of what i’ll be doing for the rest of the week.  to summarize the entire training session i had for the week, it was comprised of the operations of the center and the department i’m assigned to, as well as procedures and the different sub-departments i’ll be working with.

what stood out though, was how almost everyone i have met so far during the week was very, very, very, and i mean very nice and accomodating.  my boss even dropped by the office just to welcome me to the department and even asked meng, one of the officers who i’ll be working with in the makati site to come to the greenhills site just to meet me.  i was also introduced to the different teams, including the team leaders on the site.  i still have to meet the team i’ll be handling which was over at the makati site sometime next week.  i was given my own temporary cubicle since i’ll be working off two different sites (possibly three) so most likely, i’ll be having an office in each of the two or three sites.  one of the IT personnel helped me configure my PC and advised me that my office phone will be installed in a couple of days.  the administrative assistant also issued me the supplies i’ll be using and had me sign off on some documents formalizing the allocation of the workstation in my name.  everyone i talked to always had the line, "sir, if you need help or assistance in anything just let me know" at the end of our conversations.

for the first time in a very long time, i felt at ease whenever i came into the office this past week.  everyone has been nice without the hint of they’re just being nice because i’m new, or because i belong to upper management.   they don’t feel awkward at all and they talk to me in a natural way.  though it’s also a call center, something about this one is very different.  and i mean that in a very good way.  i can’t quite put my finger as to what it is, but i’ll find out.  i think this company’s tag line really does mean what it says, unlike other companies i have worked for.  as for being addressed as "sir," well, i guess that’s something i could get used to.