just like that, the first half of the year came and went.  i could still remember vividly the holiday celebration the previous year when, in a couple of months, this year’s holiday season would be upon us!  is it really that fast?  or is it just me?  in retrospect, if there’s one word that would sum up the first half of 2008 for me, it would be “tumultuous.”

from january’s abrupt end of a successful tenure marred by a backstabbing superior (no, he’s a gutless, spine-less, no-balls piece of sh*t son of a bitch); to two months of hibernation and uncertainty; to getting things back on track with a new company, new work schedule (read:  normal), and a new title; to reaching boiling point with someone from the recent past (specifically a no-good, stupid, social-climbing, paris hilton-feeling, slutty whore-bitch); to an memorable family reunion and birthday celebration; and an unexpected loss of a relative, the first half of the year was filled with events and happenings of every kind.

now if the first six months of 2008 was that eventful, i wouldn’t dare imagine what’s in store for me until the end of the year.  but the questions still remain:  is the roller coaster ride over and things will be downhill from hereon end, or am i just passing the eye of the storm and things will eventually be flip-flopping again?  or will things be exactly the same like what happened during the first half of the year?  well, if there’s any clue as to the answer, it lies in something that’s about to happen in the next couple of days.  but i’m not the one who jumps the gun–at least i try not to.  whatever happens, i’ll just do what i do best:  take things as they come…  and blogging about it, of course.

in the meantime, i continue to tread on…

i don’t normally post advertisements on my blog–in fact, i never did–but since this is for my sister who i love so dearly, i’m doing this as a favor for her.  she works in one of the biggest head hunters in the country and one of their clients is in need of call center agents to be based in abu dhabi.  here’s the bulletin she posted on her friendster account:

Hi!  One of our current clients are looking for call center agents for a finance company based in Abu Dhabi, UAE. Since the company would be based in UAE, the salary would be tax free and shared accommodations would be offered. They also prefer candidates who are single, and have international bank call center experience.

Should you be interested, just email me your resumé, lacarpio@wardhowell.com.ph

PS. The need is quite urgent, so we appreciate if you respond to us asap.

too bad the company’s not looking for positions higher than officers, otherwise, i would’ve been in line for that!  hahahaha!  anyways, for those interested, please send your resumé to the email address listed above, or you can get in touch with me on my mobile.  this is a good opportunity for those of you who want to work outside of the country.

there, sis… don’t ever say that i didn’t help you out!  😀

they say that some people would do anything–even look foolishly and utterly stupid (with a capital S)–to get noticed (read:  contestants on local noontime variety shows).  that statement couldn’t be more true with what happened this morning.  i was getting settled in my chair at work, ready to start the day when a text message arrived.  now, remember the HR girl a couple of entries back?  it was her who sent the message.  but before i tell what the message was, let me have everyone up to speed with what happened since our “argument” some weeks ago.  a couple of days after that event, she sent a text message asking how i am.  like, how am i supposed to feel after that?  as if nothing happened?  damn straight i’m through with her.  so i did not reply to her message back then.  a couple of weeks passed, and she sent the same message.  by that time, my thinking of her was already asystole.  so what, don’t care.  so i didn’t reply.  again.

then there was this morning.  just like the two text messages before, just out of the blue, she sent me this message (translated from the vernacular):

“mark, even though you’re mad at me, i’ll call your office landline.  i have urgent information.  thanks.”

now the thing is, i wasn’t at my office at that time.  i was in another site.  so i thought to myself, “i’ll just ignore this like the last two messages she sent me.”  but then i also realized that my office phone might keep ringing off the hook and someone who happens to pass by the area does answer.  i wouldn’t want one of my colleagues answering the phone with a loose person on the other end of the line looking for me.  but then, another realization.  like a bulb lighting on top of my head when an idea comes along, i thought, if something was indeed that urgent that i need to know, shouldn’t she have just called me immediately on my mobile phone instead?!  why send a text message in the first place?  i started to smile in amazement, and on top of that realization, came another one:  maybe she just sent that text message as a test to see if i’ll reply back.  if i do, she wins because she has proven to herself that i could not continue to ignore her.  if i was at my office at that time and she does call even if i didn’t reply back, i would’ve answered the phone and she would’ve communicated with me, therefore, she also wins.

god almighty, how could one be soooo stupid?!   to go that low just to elicit a response from me!  to make up stuff so as to prove that “i’m-so-hot-you-couldn’t-stand-two-months-not-talking-to-me.”  the thought of ignoring her message still was there.  but it also gave me an idea of a reply to her:  “urgent?  i would pay more attention to my chest hairs growing than something ‘urgent’ from you.”

but i’m not that mean.  instead, i just replied that i’m not in the office.  plain and simple.  i know, i should’ve just ignored the message.  but the thought of my co-workers answering a phone call from her gives me the creeps.  so i guess it’s all good.

one last thing i realized:  she’s got beauty, yeah.  but sh*t for brains.

today marked the first day of another school year in the country.  there was heavier traffic, more congested public transport, and the realization (other than my birthday) that i’m getting older.  but school’s not all that bad, i mean, yeah, back when we were students, we would always love to skip that day or subject and wish we were somewhere (or with someone) else.  but looking back at it, i’m certain that all of us have one of the top three most memorable moments in our entire lives–whether it be good or bad–as something to do with school.  and i’m not even talking about graduation ceremonies, but ordinary school days that turn out to be one for the books.  so for this entry, i’d like to share three of the most unforgettable school memories i have that i can recall (in no particular order):

1.  getting over a 90% grade in business mathematics subject (second year college) – now, anyone who has ever known me knows for a fact that i despise and hate math subjects.  whether it be plain mathematics, geometry, algebra, statistics, and anything that has to equate an x with a y, i would go bonkers when the professor or teacher starts explaining.  and the end result would always be a grade no higher than 80%.  so when i saw business mathematics for the first time on my registration paper for the semester, i thought, “great, another line of seven in the class card.”  add to that, the professor was well advanced in his age to teach that subject.  i thought either he was bored with being a senior citizen, or is not receiving enough in his retirement pension.  but my perception changed when he started to teach.  for some reason, he made that subject pretty damn easy to understand.  he used different scenarios for problem solving in computing for the discount and mark-up of prices, and principal and interest of loans.  each time the professor would teach, i grew more and more interested with the subject.  in no time, i nearly aced seatworks and exams, and would be often called to solve problems on the board.  for the first time in my entire scholastic life, i was enjoying math!  i guess this can easily relate to the real world, compared to the x’s and y’s that i can’t make practical heads or tails with.  and upon getting the class card, the percentage next to business mathematics was 92%.  that was the only bright spot in all of the mathematics subjects i have taken.  and i’m still damn proud of it.
2.  being stood up by my prom date (junior high school) – being in an all-boys school has it’s challenges.  interacting with the opposite sex is one of them.  so by the time i was in third year high school, all my friends were boys (naturally).  so when prom time was nearing, i had quite a problem in my hands.  most of my classmates back then already had a date.  luckily, weeks before the prom, it was the school’s foundation celebration.  it was usually a week-long commemoration, where the school is open to the public.  carnival rides, game booths, food, video games, concerts, and different activities are lined up to celebrate the school’s anniversary.  knowing that i was still date-less for the prom, my classmates decided to set me up.  i was going around the school grounds when one of them who owns a particular booth (i can’t quite remember the exact name, but it has something to do with handcuffs) suddenly grabbed me and pulled me to where his booth was.  things happened so fast that the next thing i remember, i was already handcuffed to a girl and my classmate then ordered us to go around the school for 20 minutes to get to know each other.  not wanting to pay the fine, i agreed to show her around.  we had a farily decent conversation while walking, and i finally was able to ask her if she would agree to be my date at the prom.  she agreed and i gave her my home number (she didn’t want to give hers).  i was able to convince my mom that i would be attending the prom with a date, so i also shouldered my date’s share of the expenses (nah, i was also able to convince my mom to pay for her).  we were having phone conversations days leading up to the prom.  my only problem that time was how to pick her up.  i didn’t have my own car at that time, and i was just hitching a ride with a friend going to the venue, who was also picking up her date.  i didn’t want to insist on also going somewhere to pick up my date since i was only just hitching, so i asked her if we can meet instead at the venue of the prom itself.  she agreed.  prom night then came.  i was nervous as hell.  i remember even playing a game of basketball with some neighbors in the afternoon to release some of the tension.  upon getting home, i was told that she called.  i thought that she was just confirming our agreement to meet at the venue.  so i got dressed and went over to my friend’s house.  we then left, picked up her date and headed to the venue.  i remember standing in front of the entrance along with some other schoolmates who were waiting for their friends to arrive.  not long, the number of people waiting with me started to dwindle.  up until the opening ceremonies were about to start, my date still hadn’t showed up.  i let the first few minutes of the prom go on until i realized that she wasn’t going to show.  so with dinner about to be served, i sadly walked inside and went to my table assignment.  i was the only one in that table who didn’t have a partner, and it really sucked.  i was so ashamed of myself that i got sick the following day (a sunday) and was absent on monday.  she never called me up again. i can’t even recall her name until now.  the embarrasment of being stood up was so great that during senior prom the following year, i decided to go stag along with some of my classmates.  looking back at it, i suppose it was the very, very first date that i got stood up on.

3.  going on a date with one of my teachers (senior high school) – now for this one, it came to mind when i tried to see if i can still remember the names of my teachers back in high school.  and this is a new revalation in my personal life.  i’m quite sure it was during senior high, but our friendship started back in junior high.  i also can’t recall exactly when the date happened.  she was my economics teacher and boy, was she gorgeous!  she’s also slim, soft-spoken, and had brains to boot.  yes, i had a secret crush on her at that time the moment i laid eyes on her.  she was around her early 20’s if i’m not mistaken while i was 16.  i also can’t quite recall exactly how we got close, but all i know was that i was frequenting the faculty room just to talk to her about the subject (a ridiculous excuse for me to go see her).  i was also friends with my algebra teacher at that time and he would always intervene while me and her were talking.  i finally was able to ask her out for dinner near her place after school.  at first, she was hesitant but finally obliged after i mentioned that it was just dinner and nothing else.  we ate at a fastfood joint near where she lived and talked about our personal lives.  it was a first for me, going out with someone older than me, and i guess a first for her as well, going out with a student.  i’m sorry to dampen your evil minds, but nothing happened after that.  i did offer to accompany her home though, but she mentioned that it was territory that i’m not familiar with anymore.  she did mention however that now that we’ve gone out, she was now comfortable talking to me about anything.  there wasn’t another date after that, but we still became close to the point that she would call me up at home late at night just to talk.  some of my classmates already noticed the unusual closeness me a
nd her had, and started making fun of me as a teacher’s pet.  but i didn’t pay attention to them, all i know is that i’m friends with someone i really, really liked.  i would spend most afternoons after dismissal near the faculty area just talking to her.  i have learned so much about her and i have shared my own stories to her as well.  sadly after high school graduation, for some reason, we never got to continue our friendship.  the very last time i talked to her was around 10 or 11 years ago, while i was having my practicum at one of the offices in makati.  i tried calling up the school and asked if she was still teaching there, and fortunately, she still was.  she was already married at that time and had a baby on the way.  when i learned that she was married, i felt kinda sad because i know for certain that there’ll be no way for us to go out again, even on a friendly date.  though i was hoping that she’d still be single at that time, in a way i was also happy for her because during our conversations before, she had always told me about wanting to settle down and starting a family.  my practicum ended a couple of days later and i again wasn’t able to contact her after that, though the thought had crossed my mind several times.  and i would always remember her whenever i pass through that school.  with all these things considered, a series of “what if’s” come to mind.  i know you know what those are, but let’s just leave those as they are.  i would always want to remember her as being a significant part of my student and personal life.  and it always puts a smile on my face whenever i remember her.

whew!  what a nostalgic trip down memory lane… see, school ain’t all that bad.  but admittedly, i do miss school.  not just the classroom and the learning part, but having the camaraderie with classmates, schoolmates, and friends.  so as students welcome the first day of school today, let us remember that despite the hassles it brings to us working professionals, we were once students too.  and the first day of school is just the first step to another memorable year in a student’s life.

this past friday evening, i attended a wedding of a male relative (second cousin) who’s basically in the same age range as i am.  only he’s a couple of years younger than me.  the wedding was held at sanctuario de san antonio in forbes park, makati city.  i had to take a cab going there from the office since i was the designated driver of my aunt’s AUV going from the church to the reception.  i arrived during the middle part of the mass and upon cautiously making my way near the altar, i calmly sat myself a couple of pews behind where my mom and aunt was.

the ceremony went like clockwork.  after the priest had given the final blessing and presented the newly wed couple, that was the first time i got to see the bride.  she was gorgeous.  but what caught me by surprise was when it was time to take group pictures with the couple up in front.  initially, of course, there was the sponsors, which i didn’t pay much attention to as i was talking to a cousin of mine who went with my mom and aunt going to the church.  when it was time to call on the family and relatives of the bride to come up front and take the picture with the couple, that’s when my jaw dropped.  i mean, this girl must’ve been in the upper echelons of society.  imagine having relatives like veteran sportscaster quinito henson and sports unlimited host dyan castillejo, just to name a few.  i was like, wow…. my cousin bagged one heck of a woman here…  when it was the groom’s family and relatives’ turn to take the group picture, that was when i went up to him for the first time in a long, long time, shook his hand and gave him a hug.  “thanks for coming, man,” was my cousin’s remark as he hugged me back.  we haven’t seen each other for a very, very long time since he went to the US some years back.

we then proceeded to rockwell tent, site of the wedding reception.  t’was the first time i went to that place so we got lost (sort of) in trying to find the parking area.  eventually, we did and went to find our table assignments.  the place wasn’t full, and the arrangements made were simple, but elegant.  in a couple of minutes, dinner was served.  it was a very sumptuous meal and i can’t remember the last wedding reception i attended that had that good food.  anyways, there was a video played after dinner showcasing the couple’s relationship.  and that’s where it hit me.  as i was watching picture after picture of the happy couple together during their dating years in different areas and different settings, i suddenly felt envious.  it’s as if “damn, when is it going to be my turn up there?”  as the sad realization that at 32, i’m still single started to sink in, a heavy feeling of sadness suddenly enveloped me.  i’ve been single for 13 years and it’s really starting to get pathetic.  and, like a script on cue, the waiter came up and offered some alcohol.  i grabbed two cans of lite beer to drown my lousy, miserable, loser feeling.  yet i didn’t show what i felt to the people around me.  i just acted normal, but inside, i was in a pool of self-pity.  as the dancing got started, the groom went around the venue.  he had a chance to come up to our table and again, i shook his hand and offered him a toast.  he then asked me, “when am i going to attend your wedding?”  i just laughed at him and replied, “not anytime soon!”  yet inside, it was like this inexplainable, incomprehensible feeling of envy and self-degradation.

to keep the long story short, we tried to stay as long as we can.  we left at around 11PM.  i had consumed around four cans of lite beer, but still sober enough to drive home.  we bid our relatives goodbye and they thanked us for attending.  it was midnight when we got home and as i laid in bed, the video showcase was still fresh in my mind, along with the best man’s speech, the atmosphere of happiness for the newlyweds and the sheer joy of the newlywed couple.  before finally going to sleep, a voice inside my head says, “how’s it going to be?  will you go down the same path as they did?  maybe, maybe not.  you know you want to, but let’s face it.  you’re just too damn good to be someone else’s better half.”

yeah… maybe i am…