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About markie09

a music lover at heart, hopeless romantic, sports fan, frustrated DJ and photographer, workaholic-slash-homebody who spends most of his time pondering on when his time on the relationship ride will come; a quiet, yet equally loquacious individual who would rather be at the sidelines than hog the limelight, yet at times longs for his 15 minutes of fame; an imaginative and observant movie buff who most of the time watches movies or binge-watch TV series alone and considers professional wrestling as a real sport; a detail-oriented drummer wannabe who at times would change his mind at the last minute, yet determined and focused once his mind and heart is set on a goal; a taken-for-granted, dignity-trampled-on, emotionally-ignored individual who is easy to fall in love with, yet always being played a second fiddle by women whom he falls for; a Gemini in the true sense of the word who would think of the most obnoxious and dreadfully naughty things at one time, and preach of morality, righteousness and the good of mankind in another; a self-professed loner who takes on the world and the cruelties that go along with it, on the verge of giving up but for some unknown reason continues to press on and make people around him think better of who and what they think they are simply because he just damn cares.

a tale of two sms conversations

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you may very well call this entry the sequel to the previous one.  just when things could go normally, those two women would pop up on the same day.  well, it’s not all that bad.  it’s just that i wished the other one came first.  in that way, i’ll end the day feeling better instead of having to carry this negative feeling before i go to sleep tonight.  yup, you guessed it, the conversations were polar opposites of each other.  though i may dwell on the latter too much, i’ll be doing so just to unload my frustrations at what happened.

anyhow, the first sms conversation came right about after lunch time.  i actually never thought donna would be texting me this soon after the friendster message exchange.  it started as a “sup?” message from her that led to conversations about her work and how she wanted to resign and take a break and have a small buy and sell business.  i touched briefly on her husband, as i told her that she can resign if she wants to because hubby can do the providing for both of them.  surprisingly, she didn’t elaborate any further just asked about how my family was doing.  she also mentioned how she missed my family and how she felt welcome everytime she came to visit my place (which was only twice).  in turn, i gave some advice about thinking thoroughly before she resigns from work.  in total, the conversation lasted for about a good 30 minutes because she had to get some sleep in preparation for her work tonight.  i again ended the conversation without any expectations, even though she told me, “text you later.”  i realized how an idiot i was before in wasting my time waiting for her to send me a message.  but to be honest, it felt good to hear from her again.

okay, on to the second one.  the HR girl, candee.  the exchange of messages started at around 5:30 in the afternoon.  i was thinking of not replying to her message again, just like i did in her three or four previous messages.  but i thought, well, if there will be some things that i need to tell her that i didn’t had the chance to do before, this would probably be that chance.  before, i used to save the messages so that i could give an exact running account of what was said.  i forgot to do that today because i didn’t expect that it would turn out this way.  so, using the messages on my “sent” folder, i’ll try to recreate the entire conversation.  for first time readers, i’m afraid you have to go and back read so that you can understand the history between us.  well, here goes:

candee:  you busy?

me:  why?

candee:  was hoping we could meet up in makati today.

me:  why?

candee:  nothing.

me:  nothing?  why, can’t your other “friends” go and meet you after you sent them a message that’s why you ended up texting me?

candee:  haha.  how are you?

me:  why, it’s true, isn’t it?  i’m always your last priority.  i was never high on your list.  but even so, i regarded and treated you more than how i did for my friends.

me (separate message):  i’ll never forget the last thing you asked of me.  you had the nerve to ask me to have your friend get accepted at our company otherwise you would forget me?  wow…

candee:  sorry… you still mad at me?

me:  and you text me like nothing ever happened?  and you know what, good thing there was someone who talked to me and admitted that you and this person were “special friends” during the time i was trying to ask you out and you claimed that you were single.  i guess that person was more honest to me than you were.  i don’t know what i did to you for me to deserve that dishonesty from you.  (take note, in that scenario, it wasn’t the real person who confronted me.  it was a concerned friend.  i was just trying to fish for some answers or whether she’ll admit it or not.)

candee:  i am single, up until now.  if that’s what you want to believe, i can’t do anything.  i never had a special friend except (name withheld for privacy reasons) from (department withheld for security reasons).  if that’s what you chose to believe in, it’s ok.  i’m sorry if you got hurt, or if i offended you in any way.

(finally, she admits it!)

me:  but you never told me about him.  had i known you were seeing him or that you two were “special friends,” i could’ve just walked away.  compared to him, i know i’m not like him. (this guy was tall and drop dead handsome)

candee:  what?  the time you were asking me out, we were not an item anymore.  it was messy.  i know i told you about that situation, but i didn’t give out his name.

me:  but the truth is, you were never even proud for having me even as a friend.  i don’t think you even did something the least bit special even if you saw me as just a mere friend.  and yet you know very damn well that i was head over heels for you, and admit it or not, you used that just to get the things you want from me.  free lunch, coffee, etc.

candee:  for saying that, you’re so thick-skinned (i can’t think of the exact way to translate it from the vernacular).  that’s all.  thanks, a**hole.

candee (separate message):  free coffee and lunch?  i can buy those, why, are they expensive for you?  i’ll pay you back.

i didn’t reply back anymore.  i should know better, the truth has finally hit her, and she just hit back blindly.  the last message just came a few minutes ago.  just then, i received from her all the messages i sent her, meaning exactly all the messages that were in my sent folder were sent back to me.  i suppose she was sending it to her friend(s) telling her what happened, i don’t know.  but, i don’t care and it doesn’t matter.  if history will be used, it’ll show that she was indeed guilty and i suppose the messages i sent her had it coming.  so, in closing, i’ll be posting my message–hopefully my final one–to her.  oh, and don’t get me wrong, anyone can read it.  because IT’S MY BLOG AND I CAN SAY WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT.

to candee:  yes, this is for you.  if you happen to chance upon this blog, then let me say this to you:  thank you.  yes, thank you.  for one, thank you for showing me your dishonesty.  for all those times you told me stories about you and your failed relationships while having one at the same time.  thank you for your honesty in admitting to me finally just now that you and your “special friend” are no longer an item while we were going out.  because let me add that it wasn’t him to confided everything to me, it was a dear concerned friend.  and based on that person’s track record, i would believe that person over what you’re claiming.  also, thank you for trust and confidence in me.  you were so confident in me that you did not want us to be seen in public when i would ask you out.  yet you don’t even want to be seen talking to me in front of my colleagues, or to my friends.  you trusted me by having me to wait for hours and hours until such time that lunch will be taken at three in the afternoon.  and most of all, thank you for being so dependable.  y
ou were so dependable that you would make excuses just so you won’t have to be seen when i would ask you to drop by my station.  remember the chocolates i “gave” you when i got back from the states?  i asked you to come over to my station so that i could give them to you personally, and yet you made excuses that you were busy and that i should be the one to bring them to you instead.  but i learned that you weren’t busy and you just didn’t want to be seen receiving something from me.  thank you.  thank you for being who and what you are.  without you, i wouldn’t be realizing what a big, f**king waste of time i’ve had in falling for you.  and lastly, thank you for doing all those special things for me.  they’re so special that i can’t remember what those are.  because they’re nothing.  because of you, i’m now a wiser, better person.  but i guess you’ve made many men more wiser and better persons after getting to know you.  i guess i should’ve just stuck to my gut feeling in the first place after meeting you.  what is that you ask?  well, to give you a hint, it’s one of the words i used to describe you in my previous entries.  i should’ve just thought about that and nothing else.  that way, i would’ve ended up a happier man, if you know what i mean.  but that’s ok.  so, thank you.  i couldn’t be more grateful to you.

there.  that felt a lot, lot better.  it’s mean, you say?  yes, i’ll admit.  at least i’m honest enough to handle the truth.  question is, does she?  anyway, tomorrow’s a brand new day.  and that’s one thorn off my back.

seriously, i really hope she gets to read this.

 

 

girls, girls, girls

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for some reason, people–women to be exact–who were linked to me in the past, somehow can’t seem to stay there.  i mean, not that i don’t have anything against old “flames” coming back, it’s just that when i finally have moved forward from a painful relationship that never materialized in the first place, these women magically crop up out of nowhere and catch me when i least expect it.
 
first incident:  this past saturday afternoon after logging in to check my friendster account, i was surprised to see “new messages” link on my profile home page.  now, rarely do i communicate through friendster so, i was quite elated and immediately clicked on the link.  it came from someone named “anghelica,” and the subject read, “hi!!!”  the thumbnail image beside the name contained a group picture, so i didn’t get to see who exactly was she.  i barely remember anyone with that name, so i curiously checked what the message was about.  translated, the exact entire message read:
 
“hi mark!! sup??? its been a long time!!! hehehe!! how are you?? how’s your family? i kinda missed them all of a sudden!!! lets keep in touch here is my cel num 09*********”
 
only a few people who are my real friends knew my family.  i then clicked on the name to check out the profile.  the main picture on the profile was still hardly recognizable due to the number of people on it, so i didn’t get to see where she was on that group.  but one photo on the picture gallery caught my eye and i immediately realized who it was.  it was donna, whom i last spoke to–well, through text–around the same time last year.  well, it wasn’t really quite on positive terms as the exchange of messages were kind of in an argumentative format.  she’s the same donna who, weeks after the exchange of those messages, i came to find out (through friendster nonetheless) that she got married.  i guess some of you who regularly follow my blog remember her, or how i put her up in quite a pedestal.  yes, it was her.  i kinda lost track for a couple of seconds after realizing that the message came from her, and then thought whether i should reply or not.  after giving it some thought that it’s been one year since our last “conversation,” and that she’s already married and there’s no way that a relapse of what happened a couple of years ago would happen, i decided to reply back.  it was a short reply, agreeing with her that it has been a long time since we’ve last spoken to each other and jokingly added that she got married and all without her telling me.  i also included my mobile number for good measure, since she first offered hers and ending it by telling her that she can call or text me anytime “as always.”  to tell you the truth, i’m not expecting anything out of that.  i mean, i got used to her “disappearing acts” before, so it’s nothing new.  it’s no big deal if she does or doesn’t contact me.  the only burning question is “why?”  why the sudden re-emergence?  why the sudden contact?  just like with the hundreds of other questions i have had with other women in my past, these would surely end up being unanswered, even in wishful thinking.
 
second incident:  a text message arrived on my mobile phone just before i was about to have lunch.  unlike the first incident, the message was a simple, “how are you?” translated in the vernacular.  and, unlike the first incident, this came from that, uh, how did i describe her in one of my previous postings?  hmmm, let’s see…  a “no-good, stupid, social-climbing, paris hilton-feeling, slutty whore-bitch.”  yep, that’s her.  the HR girl named candee.  there, i finally mentioned the name for the whole wide world to know.  and my reaction to her message?  pressing the delete button and eating my lunch.  good thing i didn’t lose my appetite.  ’nuff said about her.
 
it has been a weird (long) weekend and a weird start of the week so far.  “expect the unexpected,” as they always say.  but speaking of women, i’ve been thinking of having my own list of who in my book are the 10 most beautiful women in the world.  it’s a fantasy list i would aptly name, “markie’s angels.”  sounds corny, but i couldn’t think of any other way to describe the dream women for me.  and to give you a hint, the number one on my list right now is not filipina, though they so far dominate my list.  once i have it all figured out and finalized their rankings, i’ll take time to post them here complete with information, pics, and a short explanation as to why they are on that spot.  i’m single, so i guess it’s time to make this blog a single guy’s blog.
 
i guess my chances of having a relationship will be the same as me getting to have a date with any of the women i have on that list:  none.
 

unfortunate realization

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there’s a saying that goes, “you’ll realize the value of something once it is gone,” or something like that.  in my case, although i’m not in the graveyard shift anymore, i can’t help but compare the kind of customers i’m dealing with now than with my previous companies.  in other words, i miss the american customers.  yeah i know, i used to despise, curse, and call them horrible names before, but now that i’m dealing with my fellow countrymen, i couldn’t have imagined that things would turn out like this.
 
most american customers don’t know that the person they’ll be talking to at the other end of the line will be someone outside their homeland.  naturally–and sometimes–they’ll demand to speak with one of their own.  i mean, if i were in their shoes, i’ll be surprised myself.  even though it doesn’t give them the right to be “racist” sometimes and undermine filipino intellect and filipinos in general, i have come to understand that they are that way because they know little about our culture and vice versa.  but after having come across filipino customers who i consider my “brothers,” it saddens me to realize that we have a long way to go in behaving like civilized people.
 
just where exactly am i coming from?  comparing filipino and american credit card holders (which i’ve had the opportunity of dealing with both), i’m sorry to say that filipinos have a lot to learn in handling and managing their finances.  what i really, really, and i mean really hate the most are those customers who do name-dropping just to get their request processed without going through the proper channels.  one classic example:  “hey, i’m a close personal friend of your CEO, so i don’t care if your card delivery procedures take 10 days, you should honor my request immediately and have my credit card delivered to me today or i’ll personally bring this matter to him!”  another one goes:  “if you don’t waive the membership fee, i’ll talk to my friend who is the VP of your company and have you fired!”  believe me, there are lots and lots of people who claim that they are “friends” or “relatives” with the company’s higher ups and use them to make mundane requests.  and what’s the company’s policy when it comes across customers like those?  drop everything and attend to that complaint.  i mean, it’s absurd enough to even give in to the customer’s oblivious request, but for management to play hostage to the customer just because he or she knows someone from the company?  c’mon!!  imagine the kind of work we get done with that policy.  i mean, i don’t have anything against providing good customer service.  but the bottomline is you can’t please everybody.  if you try to do so, you’ll end up pleasing no one at all.
 
another example, and one i find utterly annoying is the type of filipinos who belong to the upper echelons, wealth-wise.  now tell me, how would you react to something like this:  “i’m a platinum credit card holder.  i have a PHP500,000 credit limit.  you should waive my membership fee because i’m a VIP.”  i mean, my god!  you have money to pay for your purchases amounting to the thousands, and yet you don’t have the nerve to pay your annual membership fee?  i ought to shove that credit card up your ass!
 
in the short time i have worked for the local call center, i have come across the weirdest and most insane requests.  i thought american customers were loonies.  but at least they have an understanding of the system (or at least most of them) and once procedure has been explained to them, they comply.   as a customer myself, i make it a point to follow procedure and not use shortcuts or bully my way into getting what i want.  unfortunately, filipino customers in general aren’t as mature as their american counterparts.  and until i see an improvement in that kind of behavior, i’m wishing that i’m still working for a US based call center.
 
and don’t even get me started on local filipino management…  that’s another mouthful right there.
 
 

double celebration

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having historical influence of the chinese in our country, i can’t help but feel the significance of yesterday’s date.  it’s only once in every generation that 08-08-08 comes along.  i suppose the celebrations back in 1908 are far different than what transpired yesterday.

 

the reason i mentioned that it was a double celebration is because firstly, my mom turned 60 yesterday.  yep, she was born on august 8, 1948 and she formally became a senior citizen yesterday.  we had a small celebration with relatives of course, despite the trying times–economically speaking–all of us are experiencing.  what’s important is that a very, very, very important person to me celebrates her birthday in the best, yet simplest way possible.  so mom, happy, happy 60th birthday and here’s wishing more and more to come!!

 

secondly, it was the opening of the 29th olympiad yesterday.  while having dinner, we were all glued to the opening ceremonies on the tube.  and i should say, it was nothing short of spectacular.  i couldn’t imagine the next host city–london–to top what beijing put on.  i’m sure that somewhere in the streets of quiapo, there are already pirated dvd copies of the opening ceremonies already on sale.  the first thing i was stopped short in amazement was the fireworks that resembled footprints walking towards the bird’s nest stadium.  i thought initially that that was it for me, that was the highlight of the night.  even though i was impressed by the performace of the cubes that displayed different shapes, sizes, characters and colors, the thousands who performed with the drums, and the singing voice of sarah brightman, the lighting of the olympic torch took the cake.  it literally gave me goosebumps from the time the final torchbearer rose up to the giant oval screen above the stadium and seemed to run and fly at the same time while scenes of where the olympic torch has been en route to china were displayed behind him until the big torch itself was lit.  i mean, my god, who can do better than that?  and i still havent mentioned the thousands and upon thousands of fireworks that lit up the night skies (on a side note, i found it funny and ironic that beijing’s skies were already polluted and fireworks continue to go off, giving off added smoke).  even now as i pause and remember the entire ceremony last night, i’m still awed and speechless about the grandeur and spectacle of it all.  if i could get my hands on a copy of it on dvd, i would in an instant.  it’ll be a collector’s item for sure.

 

i’ll be writing about something else very soon.  i’m still finalizing collaborating my honest thoughts about the subject.  one thing’s for sure, it’ll be no holds barred as always.  i won’t pull any punches because as i’ve said a thousand times before, this is my own space and i have the right to say whatever i want, however i want.  no, it’s not personal if that’s what you’re thinking.  although the subject did change my outlook on certain things.  until then, hope everyone has a good weekend.  don’t forget to cheer for our filipino olympians.  go team philippines!!

 

new layout and a cool pic

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it’s been a while since i last posted an entry.  well, nothing new, busy as always.  i just figured it’s time to change my layout.  i was template hopping until i decided on what you see now.  simple, and has a dominant black background which is what i really like.  so, let me know what you think.
 
nothing much to talk about except that this past thursday, i went to the call center expo in smx convention center to check out some new players in the call center industry–and submit my resume as well at the job fair.  i’m always in the lookout for better opportunities (and higher pay… hehehehe).
 
i received this cool pic about a month ago from one of my colleagues.  it speaks well of… well, what can i say… being focused despite the dangers around us…  now i don’t know if the pic was photoshopped or not, but nevertheless, it’s still a cool pic.  it’s titled, “respect the disadvantaged:”
 
  
 
to farrah, thank you for the pic.  to everyone else, have a good week ahead!  😀