A cool breeze gently touched his face as he stepped out. He stopped, bottle in hand, and closed his eyes for a bit to savor the crisp, soothing flow. A voice breaks the quick, serene moment: “Nice night for a drink, eh?” He lets out a sarcastic chuckle. “It’s always a nice night for a drink,” he retorts back. “It’s what you drink and who’s with you that matters,” he continued as he walks over and takes a seat. It was another quiet weekend, far from the usual ones he had weeks before. Yet somehow, this felt quite different. Maybe a bit uneasy.

“What’s on your mind?” The voice asked. He took a sip, looked up at the starry sky, his eyes wandering the vastness of the flickering dots. He took another sip then bowed his head down.

“What, you don’t know or you don’t want to tell me?” The voice prodded.

“I don’t know… a lot… some of this, some of that,” he replied, struggling. He then continued, “like it’s either I’m heading towards a crossroad, or maybe I’m already there and can’t figure out which path to take.”

There was a pause, and all he heard next was, “huh.”

“Like you know any better, right?” He snapped as he took another sip. “You obviously can’t comprehend what I’m dealing with,” he continued with a sigh.

“Oh, I know alright. It may not look like much, but believe me, whatever you’re going through right now is not as bad as what I had.”

“Really. How so?” He asked.

“Listen, the worst thing you can do is get all stressed and riled up about things that haven’t happened yet. I know it’s in your nature to look ahead, and that’s fine. What isn’t is your constant back-and-forth over the same outcomes despite having different approaches. I’m telling you, that’s getting old and boring.”

He stood up in frustration as he quickly downs another shot. “Maybe replaying those situations in my head can help me prepare or understand what happens when I get there. Can’t you see that?,” he fires back.

“Dude, at what point does that become thinking too much and losing sense of reality and what’s happening in the here and now? That’s called thinking too much.”

He sits back down and slouches in a defeated-like manner. “I’ve done all I can, man,” he sighs. “I looked back at all the places I’ve been and learned all that I can so I make sure that I don’t end up right back there. It all seems like I’m going in circles and I’m headed back to that point and it will all be the same.”

“Hey,” came the quick reply. “Let me tell you something about what I’ve gone through. I’m guessing I’ve made quite the same mistakes a normal guy makes in life. But what I’ve learned is, you only have 50% control of your life. The other 50, are or will be the effects of how you manage your half. And that, you cannot control. It goes right back to zero the moment you get to where you steered yourself into. Or in other words, when what happens, happens. You’re an experienced guy. You’ve gone up and down the road a few times and seen a fair share of triumph and loss. Control what you can control, and let fate decide afterwards.”

He sniffed as a tear ran down his cheek. The silence was deafening after what was said. He tried to make light of the somewhat tense moment by saying, “nah, it’s more losses than triumphs,” and lets out a nervous chuckle.

“I know, I know…” came the reassuring response. And added, “but who’s counting?” They both laughed.

“But there’s one where I don’t like going back to,” he said, turning into a more serious tone as he finishes the bottle. “I’m quite lucky I haven’t returned there as much as I did. That place completely changes me to the point that people will notice it…” he trails off, staring at the tree as the breeze picks up. “And it’s something I completely don’t like,” he says as he finishes.

“Sometimes, we do go there. More often than not, we are pushed there against our will. But like I said, it’s the other 50%. Just make the most out of what you can control, alright?”

He nodded in agreement. He was about to take another sip when he realized that his bottle was empty. He stood up and headed to go inside to get another one. He was almost at the door when he was told, “but dude, seriously, you gotta tell her. I think it’s time.”

He stopped and bowed his head. He thought about her; the first time she managed to cross his mind the entire day. He suddenly felt how much he missed her, and it’s been a while since he last saw her. Their time together went like a quick flashback in his thoughts, and managed to pry a smile out of him. “Yeah, but no,” he said as the flashback ended. “I can’t. I want to, but I can’t. It’s not right. Not yet. And I don’t know when, or if it will ever be. Besides, she doesn’t even–“

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” came the interruption. “See, that makes you the guy or that guy. You often sacrifice what could give you happiness and continue to put their’s first,” added the reply.

“Story of my life, right?,” he asked sheepishly. “I’ve been hurt too much long enough and often. Another place I don’t wanna go back.”

“So, you try to steer yourself out of that; yet still care from the outside looking in. I feel you. Not that I agree, but I feel you. Those are some damn high walls you put up there, dude.”

“I have to. It’s the only way…,” was all he can say back.

“You know what can match those walls toe-to-toe? Time,” came the reply. “You can continue to build those walls, but time is the greatest equalizer. But, you’re a good guy. Fate will smile upon you again someday and you’ll get to where you want to go. But until then, go be a good guy to me and get me a drink, will ‘ya?”

He looked at the bottle in his hand. “Listen, I have this, or something by the glass, which one do you want?,” he asked.

He turned around to get an answer, but all he saw was an empty porch.