There are days when everything goes well.  There are days when Murphy’s Law is in effect.  There are days when it seems like a bipolar of emotions just runs through you.  There are days when you seem and feel untouchable.  There are days that just go by steadily.  There are days when you’re just not in the mood for anything.  There are days that no matter how everything falls apart, you rub it off and tread on.

And then there are days like this one.

For sure it’s not a combination of any of the above-mentioned stuff; but rather this deep, overwhelming, mind-numbing, deafening feeling of…  nothing.  A vast void of in-echoing emptiness.  You literally feel it inside; or rather, don’t.  It’s weird.  It’s like being blind, deaf, strapped in a straitjacket, yet able to scream your lungs out; but no one takes notice.  It’s like standing on the edge of something you can’t see, or falling, floating and being still all at the same time; or something heavy is being pressed on your chest and doesn’t seem to stop.

And yet once you somehow manage to get a grip on it, you’ll realize that you’d want to get away and disappear from everyone for a while (or maybe longer…  probably even not come back anymore); and again, no one would ever notice.

Come to think of it, that’s not such a bad idea after all.  Maybe only then would I find the same feeling of peace I felt during the times I was with the last person whose smile made me definitely and finally stop what I was searching for.

Or maybe I’m just in the middle of a bad dream.  But how can it be a dream when I wake up and things are the exactly same?

Your guess is as good as mine.