He really hoped and wanted to spend this day–of all days–just being with her.  But during the days prior, either she didn’t have an idea what today was or what it meant to him, or she was too ashamed or too embarrassed to do so, or she simply just didn’t care.  Add to the fact that she kept telling him how excited she was going to the beach today after having made plans with her friends, it made him realize that there was no way that what he wanted to happen will indeed happen.  He thought of asking her outright, but he didn’t want to come off as imposing; even though he had every right to do so.  So instead, he tried to drop hints, somehow often asking if her beach trip will push through; and more importantly, when.  She kept nonchalantly saying that it will push through and it will be today.  So he just kept his mouth shut about what was on his mind and prepared for the worst.

Additionally, what happened just two days ago didn’t help to probably even consider changing her mind.  Yes, she tried to make light or fun of that situation, but honestly, he didn’t find it funny.  She repeatedly laughed while saying that she didn’t see him.  He wondered what was funny about him almost flagging her down while nearly in front of her car as she approached him, without any other person within his immediate area, and then “not seeing him,” then almost getting sideswiped as she suddenly accelerated.  And yet he even tried to run after her car but he decided to just stop.  It was weird because that was the usual spot where they would meet or she’ll pick him up before heading to her parking spot, and she not seeing him with the stature that he has, was quite impossible.  Yet when he tried his best to just decide to dismiss what happened and asked her to have dinner, suddenly her mood changed and she was the one who became irritated and just told him to go home and quickly brushed him aside.  Now the tables were turned.  He was already okay and she was the one demanding him to stay away from her.  Was she the only one who has the right to be frustrated at him while he can’t feel that way towards her when it cannot be helped?  After all that they have been through, how was that having a fair friendship which now spanned more than a year, he wondered?

And yet, he’s unable to do anything.  Because deep down inside, he made a decision.  And when he makes a decision that puts his personal feelings and his future on the line, he sees it through the very end, no matter when that time comes.  Whether she’s too blind to see it, or really doesn’t know that what’s good for her is literally standing in front of her eyes each and every time they are together, it doesn’t matter to him anymore.  What truly matters is the undying love he has for her, and wanting her to always be happy.  So much so that on his surprise welcome birthday party the night before, he tearfully made a wish for her to find the happiness she deserves and looking for whatever and however possible as he blew the candles on his cake with his close friends surrounding him who were teary-eyed as well.  For him, this day wasn’t about him or turning another year older; it was about the people around him who he considered the most important in his life:  his family, his friends, and her.

So today came and went; and the only thing he received from her was a social network greeting.  No SMS, no phone call.  He would just have to make do with that.