The following poem was shown to me last night by one of my new friends.  The common thing we have with this new group (which meets up on a weekly basis to have drinks, share stories, and enjoy the company) is our interesting, colorful, and uniquely complex personal or love lives.  As one of them mentioned in a photo caption, we are “human beings unceremoniously ignored by cupid’s romp.”  Now I’m no poem critic even though I do write those from time to time, but when I first read it, I cannot help but connect with what was written.  It is very simple, but well written; and I couldn’t imagine how such a conflict of emotions was put into very simple words.  She asked me to play with it some more, and post it here.  But upon reading it again when I woke up this morning, I could not find anything to add more to it, much less remove or edit anything.  So it is with much honor that I make this free verse poem public for everyone to see.  Truth be told, the essence of the poem is what I have been feeling for the past couple of weeks.  I hope everyone else enjoys it as much as I do.  So please, read on:

I don’t write poems.
I’ve been called unsweet.
I’ve been referred to as intimidating, too strong, and independent.
I thought I’m all these things.
Or I thought I was.
But here I am, writing a non-rhyming poem.
Wanting sweet moments.
Feeling insecure, weak, and dependent;
and at a loss on how to handle this.
I want you.
Yet I want to unwant you.
I think of you.
Yet I find myself looking for other thoughts.
Anything, except you.
I want to hate you.
But I find myself caring for you.
You mess me up.
I’m a mess.
But as I yearn to take hold of the old me, I find myself knowing that you’re the only one who can fix me.
You mess me up,
but only you can fix me.
Clarity.  Pure, clear irony.

Thank you so much for sharing this with me, Cheng.  Yes, you will be okay.  As for me and my so-called lovelife, like I mentioned on my previous entries, it’s her or never again.