Author’s note:  My apologies for not finishing this any sooner.  I was waiting to feel or have the right mix of emotions in order for me to be on that “zone” since this story is written based on that:  pure emotion.  I didn’t want to have a half-baked conclusion to this story just to see an ending take place.  I hope everyone who gets to read this would be able to say that it was worth the wait.  Thanks.  – markie

He was staring at her eyes, the most beautiful pair he’d seen.  He then tilted his head back to the pillow, looked up, closed his own eyes and smiled.

“So this is how it feels like,” he finally managed to say to break the pensive silence as she was waiting for him to speak.

“What?”  She asked him.

“To hold your hand; to finally touch you and feel what I wanted and needed for the longest time,” he answered quite weakly, yet savoring every passing second his fingers are clasped with hers.  “You have no idea how badly, but quietly I wished I could experience this.”  He then looked back at her with those weak, sickly eyes.  “You were never touchy with me.  Not ever, since the day we met.  Yes, we would exchange high fives every now and then, but you were always, always the first one to pull back.  And if even if it wasn’t intentional, during the times when I somehow was physically close to you, you would call that out and push me away.  You never really let me touch you, not even as a friend during those times you cried telling me about the things going on between your family…  or with him.”

She saw that those weak eyes of his started to display a quite serious appearance, yet he continued to have that familiar, calm tone.

“You want the truth?  Yes, I fell–and I still am–in love with you.  I don’t know why or how, but I didn’t say anything all this time until now because I met and came to know you as someone who is in a relationship.  And I respected that relationship; I do still until now, believe it or not.  I’m not the kind of guy who takes advantage of damsels in distress and try to sweep you off from him.  I mean, I wanted to; but I didn’t.  So I just kept quiet and instead, tried to show you how someone like you should be treated.  I sided with you when you told me about your fights with him not only because of my feelings for you, but as a man, tell you how I would treat my girlfriend if I were in the exact same situation.”

He paused for a while, trying to recover from dealing with the rising emotions inside of him in spite of his weakening physical state.  She managed to stay silent, trying to let his words sink into her as he continued to talk.

“If only you knew how I felt wanting to be with you everyday; even if I know there isn’t a slightest chance you would consider me as someone who’s more than a friend.  Though I’d sometimes hope–and pray–that someday you’ll realize that the things I do for you are because I really do love you.  Going to work wasn’t a drag for me anymore, knowing that I’d see you there, and we’ll be talking about work and other stuff.  You became my reason for getting up every morning, and wanting my sleep at night to hurriedly end so I can look forward to another day with you.  Loving you from afar has made me very happy in a way; yet it sometimes makes me wonder how better it would be if you felt the same way for me.  It made me do stuff I never imagined I would do for someone, which made other people see it as an obvious sign of having those kinds of feelings for you; yet for some reason, you either dismiss them as very friendly gestures, or don’t see it at all.”

“Aside from those, I really loved making you happy.  Seeing you smile is something I really cannot get enough of.  You often tell me that you are not fond of your smile in your pictures; but I’m telling you now, I always melt inside when you smile–or even laugh–especially at me.  God, if I can only put into proper words the things going inside me when you tell me that you’re happy with what I’ve done for you, but I can’t.  It really is that inexplicable.  That is why I go through great lengths to make sure that you are always happy whenever you’re with me.  No cost is too big, no deed is too great, just for you to feel not an ounce of sadness.”

The sound of an opening door cut short his revelations as his mother, together with the doctor, came inside the room.  This was the doctor’s routine check, yet an unwelcome interruption nonetheless.  Instruments and levels were read closely.  The doctor intently then looked at him and asked, “how are you feeling?  Are the meds keeping down the pain?”

“I was actually on a roll until you barged in,” he jokingly replied in between sobs as he tried to burst the emotional bubble that he was in.  “Yes, they are doing a good job, doc.  Thanks.”  The doctor looked at the tubes that were connected to him.  “I’m just trying to make you as comfortable as possible,” the doctor said.  “I know,” he replied back.  “And I appreciate it and everything that you’ve done for me, doc.  But it’s now just a matter of time.”

She became surprised at what she heard.  “What?  Matter of time?  Which is?”

The doctor looked at her, gave her a wry smile but did not answer.  He then went to the mother at the end of the room and whispered something to her before heading to the door.  He held the door open for her as she looked at her son, trying to be strong in the final moments.  “I’ll be okay, ma,” he assured her.  “It’ll be nice and peaceful.”  She then went to the door, hesitated for a bit, then stepped out as the doctor followed her and closed the door behind him.

She was confused at what was going on.  All that she knew was that he was only sick, not near death.  “You are right where you should and I want you to be,” he said as she was still trying to make sense of the last few minutes.  “There are still some things I want to tell you, so please let me tell them to you before I am unable to do so.”

He then continued to tell her everything about his feelings for her, and the pains he felt as well.  How she had become a positive and guiding light to him in his time of confusion and acceptance of his mortality.  How there were many instances that he came close to telling her what he really felt, and the times when he wanted to give up.  He even reminisced all the stuff they had done together.  Tears were shed and laughter was heard.  All the while, their hands were held together.  It was an emotional, yet serene moment where he got more than what he expected.  She is there with him.  That was the only thing that mattered.  Though she tried several times to respond to his confession of sincere, true and unrequited love for her, he didn’t allow her to.  Until finally, silence took over as he breathed his last.  It was indeed nice and peaceful.  She then finally broke down as she realized what was lost as her cries filled the room.  The love that made and kept him alive, was also the one who accompanied him until the very end.