Along with being the shortest month of the year, February is also known as the “love month.”  And with the big V-Day coming up in just mere hours, I guess it would be fitting that my blog entry for this month would be about, yes, “Valentine’s.”  But what’s with the big deal about it?  I mean, coming from someone who has been single for 15 years, does this day really have any concrete significance?  With everything that’s emotionally happened to me over those number of years, I absolutely have no idea–or maybe lost sight–of how special Valentine’s Day feels.

 

Looking back at how I’ve fallen in love with all the wonderful women that came into my life (with the exception of one), it’s rather unfortunate that not one of them happened during this month.  Coincidence?  Fate?  Beats me.  Maybe it’s also ironic that this month was the month that started the 15-year relationship hiatus with the breakup of then me and my ex back in college.  Am I over that?  Of course I am.  It took some time, but at least I got over it.  I mean, I wouldn’t have fallen for the ladies that came next if I didn’t, right?  But it still begs the question:  if I am capable of falling in love, then why doesn’t it lead to something real?

 

Am I choosy?  No.  For those of you who really know me, and have known in one way or another the women who were linked to me, they have been a vast array of personalities and physical appearances.  Am I demanding?  Can’t say that I am.  I actually give in more to them than they towards me.  Am I unattractive?  Well, I don’t really think too highly of my looks (I just consider myself presentable), and my personality and upbringing are right up there with the best of ’em.  So what is it, then?  Maybe cupid can’t aim straight…  or at least when I’m asking him to.

 

I have always believed that with love, you risk it all, and you give it all.  And I still do.  It’s like going all in with a low hand, hoping for a good turn or river after the flop; or putting all your life savings in starting a business.  It’s like they say, “the greater the risk, the greater the reward.”  Law of averages, maybe?  Or maybe it’s faith.  Faith, when you know that what you feel towards the person is real, true, and lasts forever and you’re leaving it up to the gods of love and hope they smile on you.  But that’s just me.  I guess nowadays, it takes more than that…  or maybe less.  A lot less.  If that’s the case, then me being a hopeless romantic will really be set in stone.

 

Am I destined to be single?  To always celebrate Valentine’s Day each year as “Single Awareness Day?”  But maybe the most important question would be, am I ready to sacrifice what I truly believe about love just to be in a relationship in this day and age?  Falling in love is one of the best feelings in the world a person can experience.  I have never regretted, nor will I ever regret the times that I have done so, and in the way that I did.  So I’m sticking to my guns.  It brought me smiles as much as tears, but everything was all worth it.  It’s like what I said.  Faith.  With that, maybe someday the “hopeless” will be removed from the “romantic” in me.

 

Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone, however you’re celebrating it!  🙂