I guess there’s some truth to the notion that one negative feeling is enough to shoot down all the positive vibes there are… or something like that.  I was supposed to write part two of my Boracay breakaway today, but after what happened waking up today–on a weekend of all days, i felt the need to rant a bit.

 

I admit, things are not going well for me professionally–not to mention personally, but that’s an entirely different story altogether–over the last two years and some months.  But that doesn’t stop me from treading on and keep on going on the direction I believe would lead me back to the kind of success I’ve had.  I believe that things happen for a reason and what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.  And that in times of struggles and challenges, you look to your closest ones for support and strength, only to find a hidden frustration and throwing back the blame at you for what has happened.

 

I was still groggy from waking up when I came down to have a semi-late breakfast at about 8:30 this morning.  I turned on the TV and caught the movie “21” on HBO.  It just started, and wanting to see again how gorgeous Kate Bosworth is in this one, I thought to myself, “what a good way to start the day.”  Then out of nowhere I was bombarded with “get yourself some short-term training courses, maybe you need to change to something different like computer repairs because your managerial skills might not be enough.”  I immediately sensed the very, very, very negative feelings that came with that statement.  Not wanting to get distracted to a good start to the day visually, I continued on with my breakfast while watching the TV.

 

Then came the sweeping remark:  “if you hadn’t left HSBC, things would’ve been better for you.  If you sacrificed your principles, you could’ve been promoted already like your other colleagues.  You shouldn’t go against your superiors or bosses, even if they’re wrong and/or your principles are right because it’s your job that could be affected.”  That, in it’s blunt and simple form, killed whatever positive vibe I had accumulated in a couple of minutes.  I just kept quiet as memories of events long forgotten and buried deep in my subconsciousness suddenly emerged like mushrooms after a lightning storm.  By this time, I resorted to tweeting what I felt (which I suppose some of you have already read) to relieve my sudden increase in frustrations.

 

Let me make one thing perfectly clear:  I never or have never regretted any of the decisions I’ve made in my entire professional career, and I’m not about to start now.  I may have made bad career decisions in the past, but that doesn’t mean I cry to the high heavens, dwell on it, and wallow in “oh, woe is me, what will my life be now?”  What I do is I live with it like a man, own up to it, suck it up, take whatever positive things that can be taken from it, and move forward, simple as that.  Yes, things may not be the same as what they were, but I still believe that there will be better things out there if I just be patient.  Think positive, be positive, stay positive.  It’s not that I lack the effort or that I don’t try, believe me, I do.  Those who really know me understand that yes, I may be frustrated with what’s happening in my current situation, but I choose not to show it and instead, focus all my frustrations in trying to make it better.  There’s no point in having self-pity or any kind of pity be thrown your way.  At the end, it’s how you do things that matter.

 

Now, let me go back a bit on what was mentioned about “principle.”  The problem with most of us–well, Filipinos at least–is that we’re all talk about having the right principle.  Stand up for this, down with that, do the right thing, blah, blah, blah.  But in reality, when it comes down to tight situations, it breaks down.  We give up principle in exchange for something that is sure in nature.  I would’ve wasted 14 years of good quality education–and ironically enough, good parenting–if I would’ve done things in the opposite way with what went down at HSBC.  I admit, I was keen on letting my superior that time get away with what he did me wrong, but I wouldn’t have forgiven myself.  I wouldn’t be even half the shell of the person I am inside if I done it.  That is why I really don’t regret what I’ve done.  I stood up for what I believed was right and true.  And even if it isn’t popular and things may have been different for me ever since career-wise, I would do the exact same thing if I were in the exact same situation.  Bet on it.

 

There goes my rant for this weekend.  I don’t want to say anything more since I think I’ve said enough… at least about this issue.  I don’t want to blow the issue out of proportion more that it already has.  Moving forward, I’ll just be what I mentioned:

 

Think positive, be positive, stay positive.

 

Enjoy the weekend, everyone.