the past 11 days have been somewhat…  weird.  two wednesdays ago, i was able to attend my cousin’s wedding.  i was granted the day off by my new british boss, thankfully, and i still played my part as a veil sponsor.  it was a very, very happy and wonderful day to be with relatives.  not really a reunion of sorts, but it was quite surreal to see a younger cousin walk down the aisle and taking the vows.  during the reception, the groom’s sister who is the same age as mine caught the bouquet and we’re all teasing her that she’s next. i didn’t catch the garter, but it was all good, for i don’t believe in that sort of stuff.  for pictures, you can view them on my facebook account.  i’m very happy for the new couple and i wish them the best.

 

then three days later, i received news that the younger brother of a friend of mine was shot dead the previous night.  i didn’t receive the news exactly from her, but from a common friend.  though that friend of mine and i weren’t really that close, we still maintained constant communication through text messaging and occasional meet ups.  i was completely caught by surprise and found myself stunned still while i was reading the message.  i had originally planned to go to the wake sunday, but my brother had the car that day, so i went there monday after work.  upon reaching the funeral home, the mood was quite upbeat for a very somber moment.  i gave my friend a hug and offered my condolences.  i learned from her that a whole magazine of a 9mm handgun was emptied on her brother’s body in an apparent robbery which occurred outside their subdivision.  i felt so sad that such a gruesome act can be committed all for just money.  i tried to lift her spirits up as best as i can during that one hour i spent there with her.  the interment ceremony was held earlier today.  though i wasn’t able to attend, i still sent her a message telling her to stay strong.

 

’twas the first time in as long as i can remember that i had a sudden change of emotions in a couple of days.  i was still riding high on the wedding when i got the news on my friend’s brother.  it was as if you were spinning and you suddenly stop.  not that dizzying feeling, but the confusion of reorienting yourself with what just happened.  it’s hard to put into words the exact thing or feeling, but i didn’t know that it’ll be this weird.  it’s been what, a week now since i went to the wake, but i’m still experiencing the sad feeling whenever i think of what happened to him, yet everytime i see my cousin (who lives next door), i can’t help but smile and continue to be happy for them.  forging a new life ahead versus losing a loved one’s life.  how can it get more confusing than that?

 

but that’s life.  you win some, you lose some.  in a perfect world, things would be very different.  but that’s the reality of it.  you’ll never know a curve ball is going to hit you when all you think that’s coming is a fast ball.

 

that’s my rant.  and speaking of emotions, i’m going through some undecided-ness on what to get for myself.  there’s an on-going installment madness in glorietta that runs until april 5 and i’m thinking of getting myself either a laptop or a mobile phone.  thing is, i’ve got my nokia n90 for three years now, and with the signs of wear and tear both physically and performance-wise it’s having, i’m thinking that it’s time to retire it.  on the other hand, getting a laptop has been one of my targets since december.  it’ll have a huge advantage on my part, especially with the work i now have.  good thing that a third item on my wish-list has been scrapped (for now).  it was supposed to be a second hand canon 350d professional digital camera that was being sold to me by the boyfriend of one of my cousins for 17k.  but i just learned that he had already gotten a buyer for it.  i guess my new found hobby of photography will have to be put on hold.

 

anyways, i still have a couple of days to decide.  thanks to all those who have been giving me advice and support.  though your inputs are all valid and make sense, they all weigh in equally which makes decision making still quite difficult.  but for sure i’ll be finally making one in the next couple of days.

 

hope everyone has a good week ahead!!  🙂