it's no secret that i used to dream of being a radio disc jockey. my vast array of customized cd compilations is one solid testament that i love listening to and playing music, while another one would be doing dee-jay segments over the phone during one of those fun five-way sessions when i was still an active member of rx's mailing list. just ask cher and janie. and another would be going on the air during saturday nights back when matt montoya was on board just to greet fellow listers and join the station's promos. the dream went way back into my college days even before i joined the mailing list and i was an active listener (and caller) for another radio station owned by network giant gma 7. when their formatting changed and went to a "masses" type radio station, that's when i made the switch. man, i dreamt of having my own three or four-hour board work, deciding what to play, things to say, promos to run, the works!

but that's just it. "used to" being the operative word. or phrase. whatever. i'm beginning to realize that maybe it was just a phase i was going through. yet looking back, it was something that i know i really, really, and i mean really want to do. it was the next dream job on my list after fulfilling my first dream job by working for mcdonald's while i was in my final year in college. yet looking back closer, that desire went far earlier in my college days. not that i didn't do something about it, i actually had a few opportunities to break into the business. when that gma 7 station started the "campus aircheck" program for student dee-jays, i immediately filled out a bio-data and waited for the audition period. but when it coincided with my preliminary exams, i had to forego my auditions to give way to my studies. there goes break one. the next one came a couple of years later when i was already an rx listener (that gma 7 station already changed their format so subsequent auditions would be in their new format). yet their "radio one" program was again catered to student dee-jays. but i already earned my degree and was in-between jobs (resigned at mcdonald's to pursue a more degree-related career). so, break two scrapped.

the third try came about on a slightly different aspect. at that time, there was this new company called trapik.com which caters to "reporters" going on-air in various radio stations on plotted times of the day telling listeners of the traffic situations in various parts of the metropolis. their tag-line at that time was "take the first step in becoming a radio disc jockey and be a reporter for trapik.com," or something to that effect. i thought to myself that maybe i should take this route first and applied. i passed the interview and was part of a workshop for about a week on the basic stuff like pronunciation, voice projection and tones, and some other stuff on how to "say" things on the air. at the end of the workshop, we all had our final recordings which will be used to select the ones who will be taken in. unfortunately, i didn't make the cut. so there goes number break number three. the fourth installment of my pursuit of my on-air dream happened a couple of years ago, while i was starting out with the call center industry. there was an open audition for a new batch of rx "jocks" (they're not called dee-jays anymore, at least from their point of view), so i hooked up with a friend who is also a mailing list member and the vice president of the station to set me up for an audition, which he gladly obliged. i went in, nervous as hell, and did a recorded interview which included me reading a few lines from a news article and a marketing promotion. i felt that with me increasing the times i had to speak english due to the nature of my work, that i would at least barely pass. but sad to say, i never heard from them afterward, even regarding the result of my interview/audition. no, i'm not mad at them for not contacting me, i just realized the hard way that i didn't meet their expectations.

that was the last attempt in pursuing my dream. i then concentrated on my work as a csr and the rest is history. i continued to be a listener of rx, yet as i moved up in my career, i had taken on new challenges and the dream of becoming a radio dee-jay slowly faded away. the dream became just a mere wish now due to the setbacks that i had in trying to be where i wanted to be, coupled with the thought that "being-a-dee-jay-may-not-be-for-me," like others who have tried and failed to reach for that elusive career…

..until now. rx has announced the second season for "radio idol," which basically is a search for the next rx jock(s). as you may have seen on the tag-board, -a- has informed me that it has no age restrictions unlike its initial run. i never really had time to ponder on joining because of the work i have right now. plus the fact that, if not for -a-'s advice regarding the "no age restrictions" clause, it wouldn't stir enough interest for me to even think about the thought of re-kindling that dream. which brings me to the present day. honestly, i'm still 50/50 on whether to try out again or not. if ever, this would be my fourth attempt (fifth, counting the aborted plan of auditioning on the very first attempt), and i gotta tell you, being turned down three times has a way of telling me if something ain't for me. don't get me wrong, i'm not the one who easily gives up. fact is, in my current career, i have been turned down twice in being promoted to the next level and got lucky on the third try. but that's a different story. this past friday, i made a small step in re-kindling that dream by contacting that VP/friend of mine and asked when is the last day of auditions and also asked him if the no age restriction clause is true. from what i remember, he said that the final day of auditions would be sometime either this week or next week. as far as the age restriction goes, he said that he'll get back to me with that.

yet it all goes back to the same question: should i go for it again? or retire the dream completely? some of my past friends who were lucky enough to become dee-jays told me before that to successfully become one, i should have connections on the inside. yet despite having that, i never resorted to asking friends for favors, especially in a scenario such as this. i'd rather go through the whole process, get in or fail on my own accord rather than using friendship or connections to buy my way in. but whether or not i try to audition, my love for listening to and playing music stays the same. but, as i have caught myself doing so many times already, during the times i'm playing my cd or mp3 collection, i would interject in-between songs, talk about the next song, or how the weather is, or what's coming up during the hour.

i may have the voice and talent for the job, but i guess it takes way more than that to reach something that may be only wishful thinking for me–or something that may not be for me at all.