out of the blue and for reasons i couldn't seem to find, i feel…

down.

yep, it's one of 'em days again. another episode of unadulterated negativity, wishing that my existence in this world would come to a swift end (though i always conjure up that same thought everyday–just not that blatant), or wishing that i could just go…

up.

up where i could look at the world below me and command, "worship me, and i'll save you from yer suff'rin's. defy me, and you'll end up bitch-slapped seventy times seven…" or something like that. most of all, just to have that feeling that i'm always…

right.

now granted, that wouldn't be outright possible, even if i force the issue, even if i explain the issue, even if the issue makes common sense, and even if the issue is not the issue at all. i could go on and on about what the real issue is, run my voice hoarse, and still make no progress until there is nothing…

left.

where does that lead me? obviously, back to square one. where out of the blue and for reasons i couldn't seem to find, i feel utterly and pathetically…

down.

get my drift?