the nurse came into the room and checked his blood pressure. he was awakened by the procedure and realized that he had fallen asleep with the laptop still on. "talk about going back in time," he said, referring to the dream he had about the day he got the news, and that night he was supposed to tell her but was stopped short of her telling him of the breakup between her and her boyfriend. "how are you today? are the headaches still keeping you up at night?" the nurse asked him. "come to think of it, last night was the first time in a long time that i had slept well," he answered with a little slur in his voice, due to the effects of medication administered to him to help fight a losing battle to the inevitable. "at least it kept you comfy last night," the nurse replied with a sheepish smile, trying to lift his spirits during his remaining days on earth. "thank you," is all he could say, his mind still preoccupied with finishing the final entry on his blog. he had already told the world through his blog about what happened to him, and what was about to come. never did he expect the kind of comments he would be getting after posting the entry he entitled, "facing the reaper." after all, that day was the same as any other day. he just decided to tell what happened to him, a thing he kept doing so for the past four years. there was, however, one person who still doesn't know. he kept it from her all this time, she not even knowing that he has a blog. he had his reasons for not doing so, going as far as telling her a couple of months ago that he'll be going to the states to visit his dad when in reality, he reluctantly agreed to chemotherapy. he didn't stay long though, for his body rejected chemo and after spending time with his dad, quietly went back home and decided to wait it out through constant medication and frequent migraine attacks.

he was admitted to the hospital a couple of weeks ago, his condition deteriorating. he was given weeks to live now, and he spent that time talking to relatives and reaching out to old friends and old flames, most of whom were more shocked than surprised at finding out what happened to him, and some whom he couldn't get in touch with, and just left at the thought that "at least i tried." not a day goes by when someone would visit him and soon, stories would fill the room, reminiscing of happier times and towards the end, tears would start to flow. not from him, but from the people who came to see him. though sometimes he would also get carried away, he's already accepted his fate and embraced it proudly, telling his well-wishers that everything would be alright. yet there was one person left that he needed to talk to, and today was that day. though he still hadn't figured out what to say and how to say it, he never gave it some thought as he believed that everything will come out at the right time. as the nurse finished her daily check-up on him, his mother came into the room. she had gone home for the night at his request so that he could be alone with his thoughts as he typed his final blog entry. "did you sleep well last night?" she asked as she placed down a couple of plastic bags containing some food and other stuff he asked to be brought over. "yeah, thankfully," he replied with a sigh of relief. "you ready to face her?" she continued. "i better be," he replied with a mild laugh. "this is not quite what she would expect to see." he had asked for his mother's help in contacting her and asking her to come to the hospital. though she was quite surprised getting a call from his mom, she immediately agreed to be there the next day, still perplexed as to why he's back home and in a hospital.

it was mid-morning when she arrived. his mom went out front to meet her, telling her the entire story. tears then filled her eyes, realizing what had transpired. scenes from when they were "together" suddenly flashed in front of her as she was led to his room and all she could think of was "why? why didn't he tell me?" as she stood by the door, she stopped as she felt afraid to enter and see for herself, yet anxious to find some answers. as his mom slowly led her inside, she was greeted by bouquet after bouquet of flowers from previous well-wishers, friends and family which made the room look like a diverse flower garden; at his bedside was a table filled with letters and cards urging him to fight on; and there he was, lying on the bed, eyes closed and earphones in place, listening to music, a far cry from what he used to look like the last time she saw him. "i wish we could've met under better circumstances," he said, sensing her presence. he then opened his eyes and saw her again for the first time in almost a year. her simple beauty still captivated him amidst the tears that were now free falling on her face. she looked at him, her face filled with a thousand questions, fighting their way to be asked first. "i'm sorry for not telling you any sooner," he continued. "you weren't the only one. i did keep this a secret to almost everyone, well except my immediate family of course. i didn't want any special attention or friends treating me like i only had a few months left. it was my decision, so again, i apologize," he went on as he extended his hand to hold hers.

she then reached out and embraced him, and finally broke down. as his heart started racing, tears also slowly filled his eyes as he hugged her back. realizing what she had done to him in the past, she kept saying "i'm sorry" in between sobs. "you don't have anything to apologize for," he answered. "there were things you did that you thought were right and i didn't question them, well at least not vocally," he said. "what do you mean?" she asked. "for one thing, remember almost two years ago, when on my birthday, i gave you all those gifts? it included a letter which you told me afterward that you threw it away without even reading it because you didn't want to find out what was in it? i mean, all that i have felt about you, all that i wanted to tell you was there. i felt devastated when you told me that, yet i just bit my tongue and pretended that i didn't hear that." he paused as he wiped the tear from his eyes and continued, "yet for some reason, i understood, even if you didn't tell me, your reason for doing so. you were in a relationship and you wouldn't want anything to destroy that. at that time i also wished that i didn't make that letter, yet it was something that i also couldn't hold back from saying. but i'm seldom being selfish, so i really wish at that time that you had read that," and ended with a sheepish laugh.

"all this time," she finally uttered, "why haven't you said anything to me? why wait until now to tell about all this?" she asked as she looked around her. he let go of his grasp, put her face in front of him, gently wiped tears off her eyes and said, "i didn't want you to change what you have going for you. ever since the 'fight' we had via text over two years ago, i promised myself that i wouldn't be the one to initiate any form of communication to you, that i'd only reply if you texted me first. i got tired of your reasons. way before, we were inseparable. we'd meet in a heartbeat when i ask you out or you'd ask me out. but when you started 'avoiding' me after i told you how i felt, it seemed so unfair that just because of that, you changed everything. deep inside, you know i was always there for you when you needed comforting of someone you hold dear in your heart. i became your 'boyfriend' when he wasn't there. yet after everything i have done, all i got was your back turned, never to hear from you again, except when you felt like talking to me. that's why i did what i did. it was painful at first, but i managed to do it. i kept silent all this time because you wanted it like that. and because i love you, i endured everything. i gave you what you wanted and God knows that. yet despite that, i still held you in my heart. waiting, hoping that one day, you'll realize everything. yet when i was diagnosed and was told that i had little time to live, knowing how unfair things have been to me, i welcomed it and left everything to fate. and here you are, with me, on my final hours. at least i got to spend what time i have left with someone who i deeply love, even though she doesn't feel the same for me."

he then collapsed as instruments around him started beeping. she then ran out of the room and called for doctors. when she got back, his mother was in the room, silently crying, resigned to the fate of her son. doctors came in and revived him. as he was being stabilized, she went by his side. he opened his eyes, looked at her, and smiled. as she tried to tell him something, he raised his hand, pressed his fingers against her lips, not allowing her to say anything. he then removed the oxygen and struggled to talk. slowly he said, "you don't have to say anything. you did what you thought was right for you. all that matters is your happiness, even if it sacrificed mine." he smiled at her again and said, "i'll always have that easter sunday with you….here in me." the ominous sound of the flat line echoed throughout the room as his grip on her hand slowly loosened, breathing his last. she cried hysterically, realizing she wasn't able to tell him what she truly felt. despite her apologetic sobs, he never heard them, putting an end to what might have been something special for both of them.