it has been a year and a day since that memorable easter sunday trip i had last year and i still find myself holding on to whatever feeling i had that day. like a pillow or a comfort blanket, i cling on to the thoughts, going back to a tranquil, peaceful moment in time with a soul long devoid of such serenity, with uncertainties as i march on forward, hoping to find my way back to that place with the hope of it being for keeps this time. yet as time ticks away, that sense of hope continues to fade, slowly being replaced by the harsh, yet solid reality that there is no hope at all, and whatever glimmer of hope i do have is but a figment of my imagination.

i actually had planned to go back to tagaytay yesterday just to kind of "commemorate" what happened last year. but fate had other plans (read: work) and i was forced to cancel that trip for the second time (the first was supposed to be on my birthday last year). yet somehow, maybe that means that there's still something left from that episode in my life. like an unfinished chapter with blank pages ahead, waiting to be written. in any case, i have learned not to expect too much from it. as i would like to put it, "don't jump too high in excitement, as you may risk landing awkwardly and getting yourself hurt in the end."

but the bottomline is, i do miss her. badly. so will somebody please step up and remove this feeling i have for her? if not, then would somebody please beat the living crap out of me till i'm dead?

it's just me, celebrating easter. hope everyone else's better than mine.