happy new year to everyone. it's been weeks since i last written anything here and i still haven't posted the counterpart of my last entry but between being busy with work and looking back at the sad moments in my life during the past year, i have decided to make this first entry of 2006 as a combination of both–a restrospect of last year and a feeling for a sense of hope for a bright and postive one ahead.
2005 was a good year for me. good in the sense there were a lot of things happened to me, but it could've been better. from finally getting over someone, to proving to myself that i am a winner, and to having met people who brought a smile to my face. good in the sense that there were many changes that happened to me, but it could've been better. from changing companies to finally being professionally happy, to having a meaningful birthday celebration. i could also safely say that in 2005, there were more positive things than negative things that happened to me. the thing was, the negative things had more impact to me personally than the positive ones. though the negative ones were few and far in between, the effect lasted for quite some time before i could get a grip and tried to move past them. from having my first major road accident, to being left in the air without any explanation from someone who i thought would be the one, to liking someone who i cannot possibly have (it was only wishful thinking on my part), to having been shot down twice in one year (figuratively speaking that is), and to breaking a personal promise in the hopes of being with a certain person (during new year's eve at least), my emotions took quite a beating which made me start having doubts of having any success in my personal life. do you ever wonder or think about that feeling or sense of helplessness that whatever you do or at least try to do to make things alright, you still end up at the bottom or at the wrong side of things? that no matter how you say to yourself that you have learned from all of your mistakes, you still find yourself making new ones? that no matter how positive your intentions are, you're still being denied that one chance of experiencing the happiness you've been longing for? sucks, doesn't it?
on the other hand, i have always been taught to leave the year that was as it is and look forward to a good and fruitful one ahead. one notable thing about this year is that i'll be celebrating the entry of the third decade in my existence on this earth. i don't know if that's any cause for a big celebration or whatever, but that's how life goes. as the cliche goes, "life is a journey, not a destination," and so far, it has been a bumpy ride. here's another one that comes to mind: "positive things happen to positive people, therefore, always think positive." i don't know how much i have gotten myself into by being that way, but what more if i think the other way around, right?
so in closing, all i can say is take each day as it comes and bitch about it later. there are 364 days remaining in the year and that's 364 reasons remaining to live life according to how you want it. be it negative or positive. having ended 2005 bloated, drunk and all over the place during new year's eve, i welcome 2006 with bruise-riddened open arms and a battered-beyond-recognition personal and emotional state of mind asking, "what more do you have for me? c'mon, take your best shot!" it's another year. live life to the fullest and how you want it, no matter what others say. have a blessed and prosperous new year to all.
Markie's Journal 