this past tuesday was my 29th birthday. this past saturday was the celebration i had for family and friends who have been and continue to be part of my life. friends who have stuck through my trials, shortcomings, stupidity, and sadness; and reveled with me in my moments of joy, triumph, and success which are very few and far in between. i’d like to take a moment from my otherwise exciting everyday life to say “thank you” for sharing in my little celebration i had for them in a manner befitting such individuals.

** first off, the big G upstairs. we may not always see eye-to-eye, and i know i tend to be overly aggressive in the things i ask for thy intercession, but i always believed that if my job on this earth is done, then you can always take me and put me in my proper place. but seeing that i’m still here, it only means that i still have something to do, something you have planned for me, or the next person i would meet or come into my life, or who i would enlighten. whether it brings me more pain or the eventual happiness i’m looking for or destined to have, it’s entirely up to your will.

** my mom – thank you for putting up with me all these 29 years and hope you’ll continue to do so. i admit, i sometimes am a stubborn son, but we are both after the same goal: my welfare in the future. we may always butt heads on different issues, but in the end, you’re still my loving mother and as the old saying goes, “mothers know best.” i only ask for a little broadening of your mind and understanding how things are done these days. but in everything else, you have taught me how to survive and be someone who can stand up to everything life has to offer. and for that, my most appreciation i give to you.

** my brother patrick and my sister lei – two persons who i can not ask for any better siblings to have than you two. patrick, you have always been more street-smart, more attractive, witty, and intelligent that i am, and i have also learned a great deal from you. and lei, what can i say? having that kind of patience putting up with two big, pestering brothers is a rarity in youngest female siblings. i’m glad to say that in some way, you are as patient and as durable as i am. i hope and pray that your personal lives are far better off that what i have.

** my uncles (tito fermin and tito narding), my aunts (tita letty and tita linda), and my cousins and cousins-in-law (chey, arnel, yoki, dannie, debbie, roel, summer, lynette, zaren, treck, lynlyn, faye, aileen, malen, almen, ryan, ian) – these persons showed me what real families are all about: togetherness, support, and that “family spirit” that we’re all looking for. i’m very proud to belong in such a large family and even though us cousins do not see each other as often as before, we’re always gonna be there for each other when the time comes.

** the agents who are and were under my team (casie, tyn, cathie, gince, theena, jet, tin, aimee, grace, nisha, syvel, joseph, ben, ricky, carlo, gian, chet, reg, carlo m., cyrus, joko, richard, angel) – thank you for adding color to my professional life at teletech. you’re all top performers in my book, even if the metrics sometimes say otherwise. we may not have the best team on the floor, but i’m still very proud to be and have been associated with people like you. i hope that the team we have now will grow even closer, especially after our team building earlier this month and the near-accident we had on the way there. i could never ask for a better set of agents than all of you.

** my close and true friends, reggie and liezl – a big and huge thank you for making my birthday celebration close to complete by you two being there. liezl, my regular blog reader and commentor, your support in all my endeavors is very, very, very much appreciated. just listening to me rant about my personal life during our coffee sessions is enough. i just hope that you continue to be there for me and to continue to pray to the One upstairs. hey, i could use all the help i can get. reggie, the one person who never fails to knock some sense into me when i’m way over the edge. yet you still continue to back me up in all my decisions without hesitation. both of you have known so much about me in the last couple of months and i’m thankful that i shared them with you. i’m looking forward to our next coffee sessions and i hope both of you continue to have patience with me and never get tired of me and my sad stories.

** my former colleagues turned friends, step and kitt – the memories we had during our agent days in PS are the most unforgettable during my professional life, and i hope they’re yours too. the closeness we had went beyond the borders of the office and into real friendships. i sometimes am jealous that you two still get to see each other in one way or another at the office after i moved out. but i guess this would be a measure on how bonded we have become. here’s looking forward to our next night out on the town, and all the silliness we’ll be having.

** my ex-girlfriend turned true friend, lei – i’m really happy that we have been communicating regularly now after several years. wish you could’ve been there this past saturday as well but with your situation right now, i understand. thanks for helping out with my recent situation. although it was not as we both hoped it would turn out, your efforts to make things better between me and her are well enough and are highly appreciated. i wish we could hang out for coffee or lunch one of these days. i really miss talking to you and i’m looking forward to playing some catch-up whenever we’re both free.

** and last but not the least, the woman who meant so much to me during these past few months and who taught me how to smile again, my beloved donna – you’ll never know when you’ll meet a person who turns your world upside down and inside out. who at first makes you laugh and eventually you’ll end up asking for more. who at first gives you excitement everytime you see her, and eventually turns to addiction because you cannot get enough of her. who makes you do things you’d never though you would or even consider. who changes your way of life, your outlook on life, or your life itself. donna, you came into my life when i thought everything was nothing and nothing was everything. your voice, your smile, your touch, your kiss changed so much in me that it’s really difficult for me to go back. unfortunately, that’s where you asked me to go. as hard as it is, i am trying to find my way back to where i was. and without you, i realize that i am lost. i’m really sad that you didn’t get to read my letter, and i may not understand why, but just the same, i have no regrets in what i have told you that you consider what changed in our relationship back then. you craved attention, i gave it to you. you desired feeling secure with someone, i made you felt that way. you wanted to be loved the way you deserved, i offered my heart to you. i know you may not read this as well, but i just want the whole world to know how much i really love and treasure you. only time and fate will decide whether we’ll be together in some shape or form or not, but until that time comes, you’ll always be remembered here–where you can take refuge when no one comes to your aid, when no one listens to you, when no one will be there for you–in my heart. i walk away knowing that i have done everything for you. i hope and pray that in the few times you may get to remember me, you’ll do so not because of what changed between us, but with the things i have done for you. thank you for coming into my life. on my part, i’ll always go back to easter sunday where it’s not just Christ who came back to life, you resurrected mine as well.

again, thank you to everyone i mentioned. it’s hard to imagine that i’m 29 years old. most guys my age are either in the early stages of preparing for marraige, if not married at all, or are in a very stable relationship. unfortunately for me, i don’t fall under those categories. but as i’ve said to friends in the past, i might just be born to live a single life. with all the events that have caused me pain and sadness mostly through my personal life, i say, “bring it on. there’s plenty of room for that here.” in the end, what matters is not how others have come into my life, but how i came and made a difference in theirs. thank you and may all of you have the best in everything.