since changing shifts and rest days last week, i now go to work on sunday nights. while i normally wouldn’t be so upbeat with the thought of being at the office at nights wherein i could just sit back at the porch, pop open a bottle or two of a chilled beverage (alcoholic or otherwise), and just stare at the stars with my thoughts wandering off to every direction imaginable except to the confines of my work desk, working on sunday nights doesn’t have the same pressure it has during weekdays. not to mention that there are no bosses around so i don’t have to watch my back every now and then. the only thing is, since the atmosphere is so relaxed, time tends to crawl at a snail’s pace. what i could normally do in a full weekday’s shift, i could finish in half the time on sunday shift.

it was around 7:30am monday morning, and the last three and a half hours remaining on my shift was like a whole week’s worth of wait. i decided to check my yahoo email since i received a message on my messenger that i had two new messages. both of those emails were forwarded messages, like a chain email kind of thing wherein it says that you have to forward this email to this number of people or your wish won’t come true, or you’ll have bad luck for a week. quite frankly, i didn’t believe in those kinds of messages, even if there are stories in it on how forwarding that message made things better, or their wish came true, or what they wanted became a reality. but since i had plenty of time on my hands, and the things i did for the entire shift were serious work, i decided to indulge a little and play along. i checked my yahoo messenger and scanned for people to forward the emails to. it didn’t matter if they’re online or not, i just need their yahoo id’s. i decided to forward the first message to 10 people, and the second one to 20 (hah, talk about indulgence!). after doing so, i leaned back on my chair, wondering what to do next.

suddenly, a yahoo instant message from my ex-girlfriend lei (back in college) popped on my screen. apparently, she received both my emails (i included her in both those emails i forwarded) and asked me “why forward so many? are you that desparate to have your wish come true before your birthday?” somehow, there was a little truth to that. before forwarding those emails, i read them (like, duh!) and, still reeling from the conversation donna and i had saturday through text, plus the fact that i really am missing her, the feeling of indulgence somehow turned to desparation (well, not entirely). i jokingly replied to lei to “yeah, continue teasing me.” lei and i haven’t talked in years. the next thing i knew, we’re already having a conversation. i suddenly realized how long it has been since we even last talked to each other personally. but even though we don’t talk or see each other, we have this understanding that we’d always be there for each other. during the course of our conversation, i told her that i have this blog and asked her to check it out to see how i have been for the past few months (since i started working on this just late last year). she asked if there was anything “juicy” she should know about, i told her about donna and how our current situation is. lei then scanned my blog for the entries that started my story with donna. what followed was a serious conversation about moving on, and coming to terms with the real reason why “i cannot move on/have another girlfriend after her” (she claims that i haven’t done that, even though i know deep inside of me that i have moved on. it’s been years for heaven’s sake!) and finding someone who isn’t “taken” and that “i could call my own” (ouch).

she then talked about her side of the fence, saying how stressed she has been lately, the pressure of having a married life, and everything (she got married by the way last year, if i’m not mistaken). she then added that the conversation that we’re having was something she needed. i came to realize that maybe that was something i needed as well. touching base with an ex (which in turn became a good and close friend) was something i wasn’t expecting that day, but it turned out to be a very meaningful and heart-warming conversation. she offered to help with donna, saying that she would “talk” to her about me, should i accept it and decide to give her number. trusting her, i did. though nothing solid has happened yet, i still have to hear from lei about their conversations (if they had any). i still haven’t texted donna, thinking that she may be still mad at me for “questioning” her activities and not reply back. i guess i’ll leave it up to fate and lei to “whip her magic,” as she nicely put it. she asked me if i wanted her, i said no, i love her (which is the truth). she then asked me twice if i’m sure, to which i replied with a yes twice as well. we said our goodbyes and with the promise of keeping in touch more often, and i drove home with a smile on my face for the first time in weeks, looking forward to something better in the next coming days. with a laugh, i thought to myself, “maybe that email mantra thing is indeed starting to take effect….”