a couple of weeks ago, i was channel surfing on one of my days off and i came across a chat channel wherein you use your cellphone to participate. admittedly, i have used that channel before, wherein i just post my digits with a message saying, “looking for someone matured and liberated woman to talk to.” a couple of seconds after seeing my message on screen, my cellphone starts to ring and chime with messages ranging from simple hello’s and requests for my name and age, to asking me what do i want to talk about and to just bug off. admittedly again, using that channel before got me laid. a couple of times. and on this particular night on one of my days off a couple of weeks ago, i was looking for the same. until i met donna. she texted her landline number upon seeing my message on screen. among the numerous messages that came in, hers was the only one who followed what i said on my message in the chatroom. so i called her. a jolly, upbeat, and strangely familiar female voice answered the phone and i asked if she was the one who sent her landline number to me. she said that she did and introductions followed suit. over the next couple of hours, we talked about almost everything. from work and previous relationships to dieting and cartoon characters. she mentioned that she has a boyfriend, although they haven’t spoken to each other for months. i was kinda surprised at this since all the women i have known and met would naturally break up with a guy after at least a month without any form of communication. but according to her, she has her reasons for holding on. she’s also not a “game” type girl and wouldn’t go for one night stands. by the time she said that, i already lost all interest of fulfilling my primary intention for posting my number in the chatroom. it was a light-hearted, funny and interesting conversation, which left me admiring her personality. we decided to meet in person. we agreed to a wednesday morning coffee session near my office after my shift tuesday night. 9:30am was the preferred time since that’s the usual time i leave the office. wednesday morning came and i still had a ton of work to do because of the queue tuesday night. now, i’m not the one who comes in late for appointments, especially if a woman is involved. so i put off my remaining work until the next day, and abruptly left the office a few minutes before our scheduled meeting. starbucks was just a couple of minutes drive from the office and i arrived exactly on time. donna wasn’t there yet. she texted me that she’ll be a little late since she’s talking to her former boss somewhere near the area. so i ordered a cafe mocha and waited. she arrived minutes before 11am. what greeted me was an apology and a sweet smile from a tall, fairly-skinned woman. her conversation with her boss ran long, plus the traffic getting to starbucks was horrendous. i found her interesting and we had another good conversation up to the time i dropped her off at a mall near where she lived, which was about a 15-minute drive from my place. although tired and quite sleepy, i was smiling on the way home on that late wednesday morning. during the next couple of days, it was one meeting, one phone conversation after another with her. coffee, lunch, dinner, she even took me to a small eatery near the our place which i found the food absolutely addictive. she also introduced me to her close friends, who are so cool. she even met my sister when i asked her to join us for lunch one time. i found myself getting closer to her during those times. i guess she was too, since we started holding hands while in the car, putting her head on my shoulders while i’m driving, and even allowing me to kiss her. we would meet before i go to work, after my shift, and during my days off. normally, i wouldn’t even think of having coffee or dinner with someone before my shift, but each time i’m with her, i have this unexplainable, indescribable feeling of utter joy. i realized that i was falling for her. here i was, falling for someone who is attached, yet i can’t escape or avoid that feeling. it was also around this time that my long, overdue episode with lisa ended, so i thought that this was the chance i was waiting for. the chance to be finally happy after 9 years of being single. the chance to be in a real relationship and to finally say that “i’m happy.” this feeling culminated on easter sunday. we went to tagaytay. why? no real reason. we just both wanted to go there. we actually planned to go the week before, but due to unforseen circumstances we ended up having dinner at friday’s alabang. since i had work on the eve of easter sunday, we decided to leave in the early afternoon. my cousins would be dropping by for a small easter gathering (read: drinking session) and i told them that i’ll be back as soon as i can with her. she agreed to meet my cousins and i also thought that as a sign that things would get better. so i went to her place, picked her up, and off we were. it was quite chilly while we were up there. we had coffee and just talked and enjoyed the view. i grabbed the opportunity to tell her that i love her but after i told her that, she just kept silent and told me to do the same. i just thought to myself that i need not say it, since my actions speak for themselves. the drive home was even more memorable. she was wrapped around me most of the time while i was driving, and we would kiss at every stoplight. we decided to make a pit stop at mcdonald’s to use the restroom and grab a snack. we were acting like a couple all the way and she was even feeding me some french fries when i started the drive home. donna was adored by my cousins and my brother when i introduced her to them. my uncle and aunts even talked to her and they received her warmly. we both had a bottle of beer and we all had laughs since it has been a while since my cousins and i have had a gathering of sorts. she also got to see my pet turtle which i’ve been talking to her about and the one she’s also looking forward to see. when the time came for me to take her home, she was asked to be at my brother’s birthday party in a couple of weeks. she agreed and they were all looking forward to seeing her again. it was really an easter sunday to remember. i asked her if she had a good time and she nodded her head in agreement. i told her that it was something that i’d hope it’ll happen again. again, she nodded her head, approving what i just said. we kissed each other goodnight (twice) before she went out of the car. we were both tired so we decided to just sleep after i got home and talk again the next day. on the phone the following day, we both said how we missed each other and she also told me that while she held on to me while i was driving with one hand, and the other wrapped around her, she felt a different sense of security; different from a friend’s embrace. thinking that since she has been away from her boyfriend for quite some time, naturally, she’d look for that feeling. and maybe, just maybe, she found it in me. things are really looking up in a relationship standpoint. then again, or so i thought…