its almost the middle of the month and a mere three short weeks before we all bid the year adieu. i must say, 2004 is one of the more memorable years in recent history, not just personally, but one in which the world might not forget for quite a while. although there are 20 more days before the official end of the year, and with the cliche, “anything can happen” being ever-present on everyone’s minds, there are quite a number of events that have happened this year that would surely fill up the coffee table and provide hours and hours of conversations, with both sides agreeing and disagreeing about certain points. as i have said in my previous entries, a sort of look-back will be in order for my next few entries. although i was caught up in a bind as to what kind of “year in review” i would make, i eventually settled for the Top 5 (was thinking of top 10, but i realized it might be too many; and it would make me think of really significant events) things i have achieved, or milestones, or happy moments; and of course, the Top 5 setbacks, challenges that i failed, low moments during the year. quite interesting, isn’t it? and since drama is more of an “in” thing nowadays (or is it?), and i also mentioned that this is one of the more “forgettable” years in my life, i opted to save the Top 5 setbacks for my next entry and instead start with the Top 5 achievements of the year. i may or may not finish the whole five events because of limited time i have, but rest assured that i’ll be done with both categories before the year ends. with that in mind, let me start the gaze into 2004 with…

My Top 5 successes/achievements/milestones/things i’m thankful for in 2004

5. i upgraded my cellphone – hey, i’m no tech geek or a person overly obsessed with new technology coming out of the woodwork, but i consider getting a new and important piece of equipment as something that i’m proud of. mainly because i purchased it with blood, sweat, tears, and stress. in my previous entry, i was in a quandry on what unit to get, but a day before i finally bought it, i asked for a sign, and it came clear as day. oh, by the way i got the 7200. simple in features, yet stylish and has the right kind of applications for a low-end user like me. although if someone would be giving me even just a second-hand 6600 or 3660 for christmas, i would be very, very, very happy. but kidding aside, i love my new phone now. i passed the 7110 to my brother. i thought of trading it in when i bought the 7200, but i never did because that unit has too many unforgettable memories, one that stood out is that i purchased it together with lisa. as soon as i remembered that, i trashed the thought of trading it. no way. not for a million bucks even.

4. i got promoted – not in the true sense of the word, because almost all of you know that i was already a supervisor (trainee) back in PS, but i was earning a measly allowance on top of a CSR’s salary. and yet i was given the ball, i was given all the responsibilities, challenges, expectations, all except for the financial reward the befit the position. i slaved, took heat, labored, sacrificed my health for six months, developed people, gained and earned respect for the people who were under my supervision, and yet my manager said that that was not enough and asked me to go back to being a friggin’ CSR. my area (at that time) was shocked and surprised with the decision. i gained more respect from them with my leadership than complaints about how i am at work. and yet that is not enough. and so by april of this year i transferred to another company which provided me the right compensation for the position that i’m in. that was the time i said to myself that i was now “promoted” from being a CSR to a supervisor. and i felt vindicated after all the things my former manager told me about the kind of person that i am. it felt good. really good.

3. i witnessed my brother graduate from college – it may be quite less important to some of you, but for me who did not go up that stage, amidst the glitz, glamor, the flashing lights and the sound of the cheers from your batchmates, family and friends at the audience, and the prestige of the occasion, it was extremely heart-warming. it was the first college commencement exercise i ever attended in my life. and it wasn’t even mine. for me to hear his name being called, to see him go up that stage, and to be officially called a “graduate,” i felt that it was me up there. in reality, i’ll never, ever know how that feels like, but with the kind of love and respect i have for my brother, i guess in a way i felt that moment as well. most, if not all of you know this, but i always considered the fact that my brother is better than me. better in every aspect you can imagine. some of you who are the eldest in the family may find it hard to accept that a younger kin is better than you, but in my case, its something that i am proud of. although he did not pass the board exam, my confidence in him never faltered. for me, he IS the man. after the ceremonies, i went to him, shook his hand, hugged him and told him that i love him and that i’m very proud of him. it doesn’t get any more self-fulfilling (family wise) than that.

2. i got to know my biggest crush personally – what a way to start the year than by finally getting to know someone you’ve been dying to talk to. i had this big crush on jeni ever since i saw her back in PS, and if you remember my entry on my former blog site, i wondered to myself, “when could i ever have someone like her in my life…” i had this impression that extraordinarily stunning women have bitchy personalities (it has been proven before, believe me), but when i got to ask her to see “The Return of the King” with me, all that changed. i mean, i couldn’t believe it! how can someone so beautiful as her go out with someone like me? i’m telling you, i was in dreamland everytime i get to text or talk to her. she was even the first one to greet me on valentine’s day! man, i’m telling you it felt great being around her. we went out a couple of times, and with nothing to lose, i told her how i really felt. sadly, it was the wrong feeling at the wrong place, and at the wrong time. but it would have been something really special. having known her gave hope to my comatose lovelife. but as they say, it was too good to be true. we haven’t been talking much now. the last time i communicated with her is when i greeted her on her birthday. i heard that she’s seeing someone now. but i am happy for her and that’s what’s important. at least i got to know what i consider to be, as one of the most beautiful women i laid my eyes on. and i rarely get that chance.

1. i am here, right now, alive – anti-climactic, isn’t it? when i look at it, i wouldn’t even have experienced all of the wonderful things i mentioned above if i wasn’t here, right? for me, being here is another way of being told that i still have a purpose in life (maybe not for myself, but for others at least). thinking of all the lives i’ve touched in every little way possible, and giving some sort of smile to those people makes me happy in my own way. it really comes down to appreciating the little things life has given you, and what you do with those things to help make yourself better. if you can be thankful for the simple reason of waking up each new day, how much more thankful can you be when let’s say, you won the lottery, or you got a new job, or you’ll go on a cruise, or that person who you love so much comes back to you saying that he/she wants to be with you now more than ever? sure, i may feel brokenhearted or stressed with work everyday, but the thought of me controlling my own body, being able to go home each day, seeing my brother and sister at dinner, being able to laugh at the jokes on TV or having the chance play the sport that i love, it levels the feeling. i may not be happy, now or in the futute in the true sense of the word, but at least i am content. and i’m thankful for that. being able to welcome 2005 with open arms and the thought of thousands of things to come my way makes me look forward to ending the year with a smile–even though the previous year brought me more sadness that happiness.

so, that rounds it up for that. on my next entry, i’ll take on the top 5 sad moments of the year. if you know me really well, i guess you’ll know what my number one on that will be. but again, that’s another story. i’m afraid i’ll be shedding tears when i do that entry. but, as the saying goes, those who don’t look back in their past, won’t be able to grasp the future…or something like that… =)